Sometimes I resent them
So, I consciously made efforts to not have kids of my own and had my tubes tied. Upon meeting my husband I was like, OK.. ya! I can be a step mom. Truthfully, I do a pretty decent job. The only issue is sometimes I get annoyed that my husband had kids in the first place. I wish it was just us. They SDs are 14 and 12 and the teen is just a little shit. Generally she is alright now, but her complete inablility to take any sort of accountability is enraging. She is the most arrogant child I have met and really has no reason to be. She is moderately intellegent and has an ok kid voice. I would say is is better than most in drawing, but not to the level of her arrogance. I know teens just generally suck... and I am working through that... but I struggle.
I never wanted them but here they are. I should have thought the marriage through and not married someone with kids.... but again... here they are.
Take the long view
I'm 78 and looking back on a life with mother, stepfather, siblings, grandparents, husbands, inlaws, kids, stepkids, gkids, ggkids, etc. How we would all love to have just our most dear people in our lives. But, I had to put up with my mom's second husband, my DH's kids, alcoholic ex-FIL, etc. My DH had to put up with his stepmom, my kids, my disapproving mom, etc.
If your teen SKs aren't too bad (and you've read about some of the horrific ones here on ST), they'll probably be gone within 8-10 years. Then you will have many blessed years with your DH and they will only be a presence in your life occasionally.
Good luck.
In your previous post you
In your previous post you said he has 3 kids, all diagnosed with conduct disorder. Is it, like, actual Conduct Disorder, and not just bad conduct? Because if 3/3 of his kids are the precursor to sociopaths, no wonder you resent them. Don't let anyone try to tell you you are just being selfish. That is some serious sh!t.
Where is the dad in addressing basic standards of behaviour
And respect in the home? To ensure there is social emotional harmony?
my husband made all kinds of crappy excuses but he was motivated to change things when i put my foot down and said i would walk out on him because this was no longer an environment i would waste my time over
What going to happen
When you get older DH passes on, the SK won't talk to you or have anything to do with you. Who is going to care about you
Teens all suck
Is what Im told, over and over again.
I think to myself "ok, but what happens when they do these things, they need to be met with some parenting, thats how they learn HOW NOT TO SUCK>
So, you are not liking them. Get a counter app and set it to "aging out of the home". Have talks with your partner about launch plans. Have talks wih teen about launch plans.