Disengaging for me was a process that took about a year. Adult SD helped by consistently being a manipulative bitch all the way to NC--where we are today. DH is finally all on board with it. We relocated over 1500 miles away from SD which really helped us. After Christmas and SD's inappropriate message about only wanting large suns of money, DH and I were finally over her. I found a personal trainer and exercise five days a week for 30 minutes, started music lessons at age 63, have counseling, and am working with a chiropractor to manage mild scoliosis. I'm spending for myself and feeling stronger and more content every week. I am disengaged from SD's drama , manipulations, and demands (for money or property). For me, this means that I'm not worrying about her rejection of me. The obsessive thoughts of my perceived failure with the relationship is over. DH is feeling the same, but actually hates her now. It feels so free to have SD out of my life and mind and I want to keep filling my life with new activities and meeting people in our new community. This is really a new feeling for me and it feels so good.