SD on Instagram
I'm new to internet snooping and have had an eye full the last two days trying to learn who SD is. Starting with Pinterest, I moved on to Instagram this morning. On her account, she gave our town as hers. There is a picture of our house as if it is hers and a lot of mushy, emotional stuff about growing up there. No pictures of the simple guest house she was staying in to "have a relationship with her father and to help take care of him." Her main home is in a nearby city and it is the condo her BM got in the divorce settlement. BM remarried and moved in with new hubby letting daughter live in very nice condo. Our letting her stay in our guest house in the country was supposed to be a weekend thing, but she moved in and set it up like her home. Then she is legally trying to gain custody of her dad and having me proven unfit! She paid a surprise visit close to the end and I heard DH ask her "why are you taking pictures of a dirty kitchen?" I froze in the diningroom where I was setting a table after he invited her to join us for dinner. I knew just what she was up to. She really was working a case against us. A "friend" had called to warn me that DH and I were in big trouble with SD. I've been reading about other stepkids who only want an inheritance. Where do they get off? After that incident, we contacted our neighbor who had told us he would love to buy our property. We sold it then and there and kept it quiet until contracts were signed. All hell broke loose after our announcement. In the months it took to close, SD and her BFF worked on DH to change his mind. These ambushes were under the guise of "can't a loving daughter pop in on her dad?" "I want for us to have a father /daughter lunch before you move". The whole time she cried and manipulated. DH never budged. The snapshots of the dirty kitchen did it.
Honestly.... since you have
Honestly.... since you have already gone the nuclear route and sold your home and moved.. why are you torturing yourself with internet stalking?
It's pretty clear that your SD was raised to see you as an interloper who was undercutting her relationship with her father.. and erasing any semblance of "home" in the house where she once lived. At this late date.. it's not likely that her perspective was going to be healed and made wholesome... the beliefs she has... while maybe are not true.. are ingrained in her mind.. the die was cast a long time ago.
She probably truly believed in her mind.. that somehow her father was not being cared for and that you were angling to "steal" what she had been made to think would be hers someday... in many ways.. still behaving like the child who was mislead and fed poison thoughts . That doesn't make it any easier to deal with.. but it is what it is.
But continuing to torture yourself over someone that you have made a "non-issue"... I don't see the point.. other than to make yourself angry and hurt. This is the OPPOSITE of disengagement.. she is no longer a physical presence in your lives.. but you are keeping her alive and allowing her to live in your head.. rent free
Maybe seeking some counseling to heal.. and to learn to accept tha present day to day would be better.. better than rehashing and looking for intent in every post she made. It would not be unusual at all for someone to post pictures of a family home place as "their home".. where they grew up.. etc.. I don't think it's any kind o attack against you..to have posted those "nostalgic" home pictures (I'm not saying that she wasn't aggressively angling to preserve what she saw as her inheritance... I'm just talking about posting pictures of where she grew up).
But again.. it's like rubbing salt in your own wounds.. the posts weren't meant for you.. weren't designed to hurt you.. even though they may do that..
Since you have gone ahead.. sold the property and moved... why not just let it rest and enjoy your newfound peace and freedom from her interferrence?
Letting her live rent free in
Letting her live rent free in your head when should be disengaging (from social media lurking)... Truly, thanks for that nugget of wisdom.