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Took a Siesta

cmd88's picture

Submitted by cmd88 on Mon, 04/18/2022 - 10:24am

Hello everyone!

It's been a minute since I logged on here as I was going through a lot and still am. Updates in the step world, SD12 was doing well for a while and now she is back to being clingy & snotty. I did disengage for a while, but it seemed like that didn't work that well for me. We had her for about 2 weeks since BM decided to go to Vegas and let DBF know about 2 days before she had left that we had to take SD12. It was a rough two weeks, she pretty much played on her phone, mouthed off from time to time, and when we headed onto our date night she made the comment to DBF in a very snotty tone, "Going to get food without me huh? not going to be back for four hours I bet!" And then we just left. The in laws will not ask to take SD while she is in our care because they do not want to include my DD13 in anything, so now they contact BM whenever they want to take her and have became quite nasty to me over the past few weeks, when I am still trying to figure out what I have done? I haven't made any blog posts, or anything because I was shutting down physically and mentally, and I am still shutting down. 

So ladies/gents, this is what I have been going through. I am one sad, depressed, exhausted, momma. I hope everyone elses step journeys are going well. No need to comment, I just wanted to update everyone as to why I have not been on here lately!

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 04/18/2022 - 12:10pm

That sounds miserable.

I totally understand you on the shutting down. I am catching myself do that too and I'm not sure how to make myself stop. Depression is a b**ch. 

cmd88's picture

Submitted by cmd88 on Mon, 04/18/2022 - 12:38pm

It sure is! I am struggling with it pretty bad lately. I had about 2 good days out of the week last week, and I am back to work today and have been feeling sick to my stomach, lethargic, weepy, and just sad. If it's not one thing, it's another. 

And yep, same here. If you find anything that helps with not shutting down as much, let me know. I hope things get better for you and that we both can kick this depressive funk we are in!

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Mon, 04/18/2022 - 2:07pm

"Going to get food without me huh? not going to be back for four hours I bet!"

I think her attitude is rubbing off on your ILs.  It's not your fault.

 

cmd88's picture

Submitted by cmd88 on Mon, 04/18/2022 - 2:55pm

She always says comments like that! When we were about to do T-25 the other day, she was seriously whining and saying, "Dad you're not doing that without me, you will do it with me and only me!" And he said, "No, I am doing it now with cmd88 as we both are trying to work out together to be more healthy." And she stomped off... We always have the kids, my DD 24/7 and her over 50% of the time, and constantly had to find things for them to do, now that they are both old enough, we are going to do more of what we want. The other day she was sitting on the couch, watching tv, playing on her phone, and coloring, she looks over at her dad and goes, "I'm BORED!!!!!" and he goes, well then go outside or something, you are playing on your phone, watching tv, and coloring all at once, how can you be bored? She needs to be constantly entertained and she's going on 13 years of age.

Oh I don't doubt it, she is with the IL's everytime she is not with us, and they treat me like crap openly and probably fill SD's head with a bunch of crap.... I literally gave them NO reason to hate me as much as they do and exclude my kiddo with even birthday parties and holiday dinners... They all just suck the life out of me.... 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 04/19/2022 - 12:18pm

"Im Bored", or "Im afraid of being bored"...

I was pretty upfront with Husband that I will not take kiddo anywhere because of those comments. Shes bored? Ok, well you can be bored at home then...lol.

cmd88's picture

Submitted by cmd88 on Tue, 04/19/2022 - 12:20pm

I'm right there with you. We have taken SD on other trips and she would still state that she was "bored." So over it.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Tue, 04/19/2022 - 12:23pm

Next time she says she's bored, hand her the necessary and tell her the windows all need cleaning, get on with it. 

cmd88's picture

Submitted by cmd88 on Mon, 04/18/2022 - 3:00pm

It sure does... I was ok for a while, but things just got bad again with the in laws, so I have been having a hard time with it all. I know I shouldn't care what they think about me, but when everyone else is starting to turn on me, it's making things difficult... DBF says to eff them all, and he's tired of the woman in his family, (since they have always been this way with his girlfriends)... Just hard when we plan on getting married and having more children, I don't think they earned the right to be there or be around our future kids at this point.