Well, she is here,  yes indeed. 

Honestly things are going  a whole lot better than I expected and feared. We have been eating out at outdoors places because the weather is decent;  so far no drama there and I have been able to drive to meet them separately so I always can get away if need be. Once, I went early to get a good table;  another time, due to a "prior commitment" (thanks forum) that delayed me, I went late;  another time I Just texted "will meet you there soon" and did. 

 I am using ALL your advice and applying it.  So far so good.  I basically say nothing (greyrocking works well so far! Not perfect at it yet though), and I act pleasant as if to a stranger, very polite but no engagement. She liked the gluten free vegan cake with the "Welcome 'Anna'" decoration on it but did not thank me (fine, no worries, just don't criticize and mock it, that's ok ---see the low bar we have to set). She and her dad are right now playing chess (thank goodness it is a long game), and I'm in here on the computer. My friends have kept up the phone calls to me so I have been able to excuse myself several times over the past couple of days, and take an hour out of the room.   

Haven't had to "weed the garden" or "run an errand" yet but the phone calls from friends have really helped me stay out of the way. 

If it continues like this (praying hoping begging the wide universe that it does) I think I can get through it til Tuesday night when she leaves.  But like many of you have expressed, I am on guard the whole time, constantly bracing myself for the worst, which does make it an un-relaxing five days.

No complaints about the food so far (almost all restaurant food, though, as I said I am not cooking for someone who clearly hates and criticizes anything I make, and DH accepted this);  no put downs about the house or my clothes or hair or anything (except one:  that my hair must get frizzy in all this humidity---I said "yes, it sure does!"  I have thick wavy hair and it does frizz badly, and was in fact frizzing at that time, eating outside in Spring humidity.) Oh one putdown about my car: "Why would you buy a car like THAT?!"  I said, "well, my old one finally died, I needed a car, and bought one!" and laughed in an apprently relaxed way (acted like I did not think it was an insult, which it clearly was) and sat down and asked for a menu etc. totally ignoring her/the remark.

Otherwise all is ok. SO FAR.  Just wanted to check in here at the half way point and thank you all again for the great advice you gave me from all your hard wrought experiences, wow.  Thank you for helping others!

Let's see: about 60 hours to go? Maybe less.  I could hang upside down by my toes for that long, eh??

  Take care, everyone, and I hope you all have a good long weekend!