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Update on situation

Mydogwinnie's picture

Submitted by Mydogwinnie on Thu, 02/10/2022 - 8:48pm

Thank you for all the comments on the situation I wrote about in my prior blog. It is completely unacceptable. I knew this before I wrote the blog, but I needed to hear it from others, especially from the stepparent perspective. I am still so upset that I sent my SO away. He has the option to live on-site at his workplace so I said it's best to stay there until I cool off. I'm still so heated. He apologized but it doesn't land on my end. This should never have happened. He assures me that SS is off the account but I don't believe it. I refuse to text him at all. To make things worse I didn't feel present at all with my toddler and NB today. My mind is consumed by stress and anger. And those are draining emotions that rob me of quality time with my children.

Comments

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 02/10/2022 - 11:39pm

Wow I just read about this. Horrible. I would be furious as well.

The only thing to save this is if your SO hands over all control bto YOU and you disable and correct the sharing and you only maintain the password or control of all sharing.

Or your SO splits his account from his son's and you can verify it.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/11/2022 - 7:05am

SS needs to come over with all of his electronics and changes need to be made with the apple ID. This is a big violation, I don't know if it is relationship ending because I do believe your SO didn't do this intentionally but the violation happened due to carelessness and that is not ok. Right now, the situation just needs to be fixed. Take the next step later. 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Fri, 02/11/2022 - 9:48am

YOU call Apple ASAP and get a new Apple ID and ICloud ID and password. That will cut off SS and DH from seeing text photos ect.  Do it now. 
It will take time to figure out if DH is just stupid or was doing it for some other reason. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

Submitted by missgingersnap2021 on Fri, 02/11/2022 - 10:58am

I know it sucks when step drama consumes and drains us! I know the feeling. The only thing that helps me is to clean. (I call it angry cleaning!) Smile But with a toddler and new born I am sure that is not something that is easy for you! 

I am curious though - Did your SO not realize his son could see the texts? Or did he assume he wasn't looking at them? And how was he seeing them? Were your texts mixed in with other texts that your SS was getting? And did that mean your SO was reading his sons texts? The whole thing is something I have never heard of. 

And like I replied under your other blog - Both you and your SO shoudl be pissed at our SS. 15 is old enough to know better then to read texts he shoudlnt be looking at. But again if they come to his phone I guess its hard for him NOT to read them. 

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Fri, 02/11/2022 - 11:36am

Did you SO just give SS the login info so the kid could buy games, apps, or whatever with his card?   

This is why I will never ever ever buy and Apple product.  I swear that company invents spying devices and then makes a fortune from unsuspecting people.

My OSS used to creep into our bedroom when I was sleeping in just panties.  I still can't be around him without being creeped out and that was 11 years ago.

Noway2b1's picture

Submitted by Noway2b1 on Fri, 02/11/2022 - 2:41pm

If the kid had it so should you, so that shouldn't be a problem. You will then be able to login and see the devices affiliated with that credential .for instance if kid has an iphone x and hubby has a 13 you'll see both phones. Here are a couple of articles that might be helpful. Don't change any passwords until you've either disconnected the kid or wiped it. 

https://support.apple.com/guide/icloud/erase-a-device-mmfc0ef36f/icloud

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT205064