Is this abusive? Thoughts please.

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Step kid acts up and is rude. He talks back and then shoves a chair down the stairs hitting the wall causing damage. It is brought up to his father who defends his kid and says it was an accident (even though he didn't see it) tells me how dare I think badly of his kid and starts to raise his voice at me and says "if I don't like his behavior I can leave!!!" That's after taking his kids to lunch on my dime earlier that day. So I left his place and he tries calling me the next day repeatedly. I don't answer. He then claims I am abusive for ignoring him? What he did was very hurtful and there was no acknowledgment nor apology but I find with people like that they are never in the wronged and I crazy?

Umm no

Definitely not abusive. He is the one being abusive if anything. Yelling at you and telling you to leave and accusing you of stuff that you didn't even say. That's called emotional abuse and he's the one who sounds crazy.

By no means should you have to put up with any of that crap. SS needs an attitude adjustment and your DH? SO? needs to stop being a disney dad and wake up and realize that his child is well...being a bad child.

Dump him.

He's a narcissist, get out

He's a narcissist, get out and LEAVE this is your chance to run before it's gets worse (because it only will)

Don't answer ANY of his phone calls

Don't read any of his texts

Don't listen to any of his messages

Best way to deal with a narcissist is DON'T

Are you being abusive? no..

Are you being abusive? no.. but honestly, silent treatment and gaslighting do not make for great relationships.. neither does a spoiled Skid. I would cut him loose.

OH MY GOODNESS

My ex was like that to me. Its abusive mind games and gaslighting.

Your DH is not a healthy communicator or husband, and he is a shitty father to boot. No wonder your SS is a spoiled lil prick, he learned it from big daddio.

Id stay gone if I were you. Your DH could escalate this to physical. Regardlss he is emotionally abusive, and he sees no error in SS's ways. He underminds and does not listen to your concerns. He chooses not to believe your word. NOTHING good about this shit guy. So lady if you stay you will be stuck with two pricks in your household.

Life can be peaceful when you dump the toxic.

Blessings hun

"if I don't like his

"if I don't like his behavior I can leave!!!"

You left. Stay gone.

He is the one being abusive

He is the one being abusive and he is also a massive a$$hole. You ignored him because you were hurt and did not know how to react to his abusive behavior towards you. You also needed your space after the ridiculous spectacle that him and his brat child created. He is also a crap parent to a spoiled, unruly manipulative, little trouble maker. No wonder his son acts that way. Like father like son. You can do so much better. Continue to ignore him and move on with your life. There are plenty of men out there who do no act like this.

I've just read over your past

I've just read over your past posts and I'm glad you left. Stay gone. Build a great life without him and be happy. Stay strong.

Normal people don’t shout at you and make you in

The wrong when they have an abusive disrespectful kid they refuse to discipline. If i dade threw a chair in anger, my asian mum would have smacked me like she meant business.

he tells you to leave thinking guilting you that way will shut you up so you take take take his shit willingly with a smile too never expecting you'd have the courage to leave.

then when you do leave he is calling you nonstop then chucking a hissy fit and making you the bad person when you're not.

normal men don't behave this way, its a manipulative tactic. You would normally air grievances and work through solutions.

my own husband any issues with his adult ss while he is at work, i message hubby and he trusts me more than his own kid. My adult ss would lie to hubby in private claiming our newborn child was crying all the time basically making me out to be an abusive neglectful mother which is hilarious considering the batshit crazy mother of his. Hubby always tells him off that he know bubs wasn't crying all day & shuts it down

He is gaslighting you. His

He is gaslighting you. His behavior is abusive.

In all honesty

In all honesty, I would leave if in your shoes and I completely understand its hard when you have feelings for someone. I would leave because this will happen again. How long have you two been together? I only ask this because, from my experience, you don't really know someone until you've been with them for two years. The first year is always the honeymoon and everyone is on their best behavior. The second year, the relationship starts developing into what it will be for the long haul and people start showing different sides to them you have not seen before (Not necessarily a bad thing). If you are new in this relationship and this has happened, it will happen again and as biodad gets more comfortable with you and see's you accept his behavior, it could get worse. I live by the saying "If I permit it, I promote it!"

You are right about the

You are right about the honeymoon phase. It takes a minimum of 18 months of living with someone before they show their true colors. Also poorly behaved kids only get worse as they get older if it's not addressed properly by the parents.

This! Anyone can act like the

This! Anyone can act like the ideal guy, part time, for a year or so. But when you live with them, you get to learn the good/bad/ugly about them. Growing up, I learned it was bad to move in with guys, that it made you a wh#re.. but now I advocate living with a guy for at least a year before marriage. You HAVE to get past the honeymoon phase and see this guy for all his potentially toxic traits.