I don't know why he is trying to hold on now while missing and texting his ex and wanting to be with her.  Maybe she is already over him too?!?! I'm so thankful that I did see the texts.  I took screenshots and sent them to myself from his phone.  Oh and he def knows that I know. That is why I went off and told him to get out then and he was no longer welcome until the end of the month. 

I agree I tried to many times.  I just wanted to leave with a clear conscious knowing that I did try and that he didn't.  Seeing the messages made it much easier to tell him to GTFO.  I have to much empathy/sympathy for others and he had none for me.  You are right he had no respect or appreciation for me...and no morals!

I'm honestly not sorry.  I'm grateful that I saw that message.  I'm glad I got the sign I needed to make me angry instead of sad.  It gave me the extra burst of strenght I needed to get him out. 

I know it will get worse.  Yesterday he was pretty vindictive and hateful.  Wanting me to claim I ruined the marriage, lol!  Mmmkay!  It is over buddy, doesn't matter!  Luckily I have a lot of supportive people around me, this site, my friends and family...I got this

The most pathetic part of it all is he was chasing her and hounding her and being obsessive with her and has probably already scared her off too.  So he tried to replace me while still with me and lost us both.  I feel a weight has been lifted for sure!

Thanks!  It was the final push of anger and strength I needed to get him out.  My dad changed the locks on the house yesterday so he can't get back in. 

I agree, it makes sense now that he was so worried about me and trying to act like I was always up to something when he has probably been cheating with different women the whole time.  Projecting his guilt onto me.  Gross!

Oh, I know they won't last long, reading the texts again when I was calm she was distancing herself and he was acting clingy and possesive of her.  So he stopped trying with me to pursue her and now he will have neither.  I kind of hoped that she would entertain him for a while though to make it easier on me.  I'm loving my freedom already!

The sad part is that even though my SD was a royal PITA she had actually gotten better and more respectful and was appreciative of me.  But yeah, it is nice that I no longer have to worry about that drama b/c I'm sure it isn't over! LOL

Thank you!  It feels a lot better.  No more toxic energy.

Yep, total jerk, super selfish!  It is hard but I hope that it can be somewhat civil.  Even his friends have reached out to me to let me know they are sorry I'm going through this and what he did is inexcusable!

Yeah, unfortunately I've had some rough endings to previous relationships as well.  I wasn't married to them but yeah they were still hard to get rid of and a bit crazy/psycho.  I want it to be friendly but if he wants to make it difficult that is on him.  I had my dad change the locks to the house last night, I have a security camera, and neighbors that are now aware of the situation.  I hope he is smart enough to stop being petty and let it go.

Yep, he is regretting it.  Not remorseful at all but definitely regretful.  He lost his supply for good!  He now has to find a new one!

He moved in with his mom where he can live rent free.  Super attractive to all women I'm sure.  A almost 42 year old living with his mom, not paying rent, and has 2 kids and 2 ex wives.  He shot himself in the foot and now he has to deal with the consequences.  I think he already scared that girl off.  To bad.  I was hoping she would keep him happy and entertained until this was final at least.

LOL, I know I'm not a Simpleton!  I just had to hide my identity!  I find it amusing!  My "wasband" (love that) apparently thought I was a Simpleton but he was wrong.  I am unfortunately a caring/empathetic/sympathetic person and that bites me in the butt a lot.  I'm getting much wiser to this though!

You are 100% correct.  I have always deserved better and he has never appreciated me at all.  He is still trying to get me to "take my accountability for ruining the marriage".  LOL!  I tried my best and he didn't deserve it.  It was take, take, take and it was exhausting.

Thankfully I am very confident now that I'm older.  I'm also not feeling like I need a man or a replacement man or any of that nonsense.  I don't feel like a victim...remember my wasband is the obvious victim here...duh!!!  But anyways, I don't feel like a victim.  I just feel free and have peace of mind.  I'm going to focus on my kids and my career and enjoy my life!

Yep, even after seeing the clear evidence he was trying to claim "it wasn't like that".  I said, BS, those messages are very clear and it is like that.  You are busted.  You need to GTFO NOW! 

I really don't care what my "wasband" calls me or says about me to others.  I don't care if he paints me as the bad guy.  His best friend already reached out to me to say that even though "wasband" was his friend him and his wife aren't buying his 1 sided story and aren't saying mean things about me (in case "wasband" tried to claim they were) and that they sitll had respect for me and love for me and his actions were inexcusable and they would help with the boys if I ever needed help.  He can't even convince his own friends that I'm the bad guy even when desperately trying to!  Plus not even sure why it matters at this point who is the "good guy" or "bad guy".  It is over, let it go and move along!

My home is so much more peaceful with him gone!

I felt like it was the universe aligning.  I was plagued with guilt for wanting to end it already and then that made all the guilt I had disappear.  It was a definite sign.  The timing was perfect also.  He had wanted to do it the night before and I made him wait.  I truly believe everything happens for a reason!

Oh, I've seen those looks, like they can't be bothered with you and deep down resent and hate you! 

I am so at peace with getting my freedom back. 

Thank you for your reply

Thank you!  I am trying.  I know I need to eat more but I'm kind of liking losing weight finally LOL!  I was going to the gym with the "wasband" trying to bond and reconnect in a healthy way but well we see what happened there.  However, I still plan on going to the gym. I'm taking a few days off to get stuff around the house the way I want it but I am definitley going to continue going. 

I started practicing more self care when this all started flaring up about a month ago.  I decided screw him.  He isn't taking care of me or my needs but I'm going to without him.  Went and got a pedicure and chopped off all my hair and got highlights.  It feels great!  Self care is not selfish!!!

Oh, I still have them and have reviewed them several times.  Thankfully a good friend has stayed with me in SD's former room the past few nights and been great moral support and a good distraction!

I know there will be moments of weakness but right now I'm so angry and disgusted I think I'll be good and I'll still have those messages ;)  Oh he has already tried the love bombing the night he actually left and then after our call with the atty today.  At least he is being civil briefly again. 

Hell no, he didn't deserve another week of comfort in my home still talking to his mistress!  I already had my dad come and change the locks and I have a security system.  I sacrificed way to much and I won't do that again!  I'm already feeling more calm and happy in my home!

LOL, I agree, they will!  I have 2 awesome dogs and a cat that wants nothing to do with me.  Oh and the 2 kids keep me pretty occupied also!  I know I don't need a man!  If I ever date again I will be very cautious and I will never cohabitat! I like having my own home!

It was initially horrible and heartbreaking but it also gave me clarity.  All the "I don't know" answers he was handing me weren't cutting it and it gave me answers and let me know I was doing the right thing.

After the anger went away I was relieved.

I wish I could block him completely but we have a child.