A year on - SD16 still here - a vent!
So a year ago, my husband moved his daughter from out of state to come and live with us, with no discussion with me.
I disengaged right from the start. I refused to cook, clean, pay for anything. I told my husband he has to step up and start helping out with the household, and I continued my disengagement. We have a 6 year old bio child so I spend my time when I'm not working with her. My husband works 6 days a week, 40-50 hours a week now, afternoons, evenings, weekends. We don't see much of each other except for an hour or two before we fall asleep every night. I get on with my life, work and studies with my daughter and barely tolerate the SD now 16 in my home.
She is the laziest, most disgusting gross person I've ever met. Lies like you wouldn't believe.! Can't believe a word she says because it's all lies. Dresses like a prostitute. Does not clean up after herself. Does not follow any house rules. Stays up all night, doors banging all night. Goes out wandering the streets all day. Or stays in bed all day and doesn't even emerge until late afternoon. Comes home with hickeys on her neck. She left her bedding in my washing machine for 4 days, stank out the whole basement so I just threw it out the back door. It sat there for 12 days. I just had enough and dumped it in her bedroom, which is like a nuclear waste explosion in there. Leaves her trash all over my kitchen. Tells lies about me to MIL. Tells lies about me to our bio daughter. I just keep my daughter away from her because I cannot have her bad influence on my daughter.
Well today I lost it. Got home from work to trash just left on the floor. I said to husband is there a problem with your kid that she can't follow a simple instruction to put your trash in the bin. Well apparently my husband has had enough by now too and had a major talk with her and told her some real home truths.
At this point I am just ready for her to get out of my house and go back to her mother's. She apologized to me and said she wants a relationship with me. The feeling is not mutual. She's burned her bridges with me and I am done. I told her she needs to stop lying, stop interfering in my relationship with my husband and stop telling lies to my daughter. In addition to cleaning up after herself.
I don't know where it will go from here but it felt good to hear my husband finally step up and actually parent her.
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Comments
Pardon me - he moved her in
Pardon me - he moved her in with NO discussion with you, despite the fact that he is never there? How bizarre. I think I might have packed my bags at this point, or packed his and left them outside.
Yes - just booked her a one
Yes - just booked her a one way ticket and was like "she's living here now".
To be honest, I don't know why I've put up with it for so long.
As soon as he said that, I
As soon as he said that, I would have grabbed a one way ticket to elsewhere ASAP.
Wow, how incredibly inconsiderate.
I think I'd move out without any discussion with him
Being slightly jokey but not really.
Agreed. It's my house though,
Agreed. It's my house though, so if this all ends it's them that'll be leaving.
In that case
In that case follow Kes's very sage advice and pack their bags for them. *ROFL*
If the house is solely yours,
If the house is solely yours, I would kick BOTH of them out ASAP. 1. Your SD is a brat. 2. Your DH is a selfish and inconsiderate person. I would not want to be married to someone like that.
So it's in both our names but
So it's in both our names but it's my money that bought it and I pay everything for it. He was on disability up until last year. Since he's been working he has somewhat contributed financially, but I say that only really covers the exceptionally long showers she takes etc.
Ive said he needs to contribute more financially so we'll see how that goes too.
Oh the classic "you don't
Oh the classic "you don't like my daughter" line!
Exactly what I used to hear from ex. It's their way of avoiding responsibility for their shitty actions and parenting.
Trying to make it like YOU are the one with the problem, while he stands there wringing his hands and shrugging his shoulders.
Oh yes! It’s a classic!
How many times do we hear that line! It's a favorite for any time I point out anything that his daughter does wrong!