Finally
Finally my SO has agreed to charge his 24yo son rent, the agreement we had was that while he's at uni we wouldn't charge him anything (he has been working during this 3 years and never contributed a penny) and now he has finished uni the end of last year I reminded my SO he has to start contributing to his living expenses. His son has only started working again in the last week due to shops being closed in the UK because of Covid. I pointed out to SO that if the tables were turned and he was my adult child living with us being lazy, selfish and unsocial that he would be going mental about it and wouldn't have tolerated it this long, he knows I'm right and admitted he was very disappointed in his sons behaviour.
SO did try to squirm out of it saying as his son is saving for a house with his gf and he doesn't want him to have no money and he thinks asking for rent will push him into renting somewhere crappy and not buying, his gf is pushing for them to move in together and start renting before they buy anyway. I pointed out to my SO if he can't afford to save because of us charging a small amount of rent then he can't afford to buy a house in the first place. if his son wants to save then he needs to cut back on eating out everyday and buying designer clothes, this is the same person who announced last year he wants to start saving £500 a month for a house deposit then a week later blew £1000 on a new PlayStation and a 50" tv for his bedroom. I know he wants to help his son out but by giving him everything on a plate he's not teaching him any responsibility.
As much as I don't like SS or his rude unsocial girlfriend I think renting is the best thing for them, they are in quite an unhealthy obsessive relationship and spend every waking moment either together or on the phone in constant contact (I think she is very very insecure) and once they start living together and the novelty of him having sex on tap and she sees just how lazy and selfish he is the reality will set in for both of them. This is both their first major relationship and even SO doesn't think it will last long term.
Reframing suggestion
One way of making this more appealing to your husband would be to say, "Let's charge him rent but secretly save it and when he moves out, that will be a rent deposit or down payment".
I'm sure SO will give him
I'm sure SO will give him something towards moving out but it will be out of his pocket not mine.
he literally has just come into the room and showed SO a house he's looking at renting and wants to go and view it the weekend.
Its sad that it's come to this but SS has no thought for anybody but himself.
If he's lazy and
If he's lazy and irresponsible, renting is probably best, anyway.
I lived in an apartment (so paid rent), while saving for a house. It can be done, one just has to have ones priorities straight.
What is it with kids that
What is it with kids that think they should be able to buy a home first straight out of mom/dads w/out renting first? Rent and save yourself on costly repairs for a while. See if it's the relationship/job/area you want to be in too. Geesh.
I managed to rent and save
I managed to rent and save for a house on my own, it's all about priorities and if you want something you have to work for it.
He really is gonna have a shock to the senses when he's renting somewhere and has to pay for everything himself. I don't know what planet he's on sometimes, when he first discussed buying a house he reeled off a list of things he wanted the property to have and was looking at properties way out of their price range, we had to tell him this is your first property you won't get everything you want but it's a step onto the property ladder and look at properties that you can actually afford. I bet he's probably hoping that his dad will wipe off the debt he owes him for his car loan (wouldn't surprise me if he did).
if he was a different type of person I'd would help him and do stuff for him but he's just all about himself and doesn't have a thought for other people. I mean this is how little he thinks of me, my dad passed away last week and at no point has he said oh I'm sorry to hear that your dad died you know like a normal person would, we were even discussing stuff to do with the funeral while he was there with us and not a peep out of him.