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Just triflin'....

NattyLocsQueen's picture

So recently, I've blogged about the BM being unreasonable abuot how the boys hair should be cared for. Again, she knows nothing about caring for any of her kids nor do she want advice for it. She just thinks everything happens with a snap of a damn finger. Well, my husband and I found out that she had the doctors not allow me to bring them to their appointment when there is a court order showing they're all in our care full time. She's been avoliding child support and refuse to show the judge that she had completed rehabilitation through court order. The court order still shows that she has to be supervised during visits at all times until she can show otherwise. My husband was pissed when the doctor's office told him that he need proof that the kids are in his care. However, he did show otherwise. Basically, she wanted show that she's' the "mother" of their children. That is fine and dandy but why try to do sneaky mess under the table. Now, the boys come home with no food on their belly's and since she had started their locs with super hold hair spray and oil, they've told her that their heads are itchy. She said she doesn't know why. I know why and you know why..... It's been damn near 2 months since they had their hair washed. Since, she has a problem with me caring for them even their hair, I still don't wash their hair at home because then that means I will need to take the rubber band out of their supposed to be locs, and then comb out the build up. I know the kids com first, but I also rather focus on mine instead of being the bad guy over trying to remain taking care of my bonus babies. My heart does hurt for them though.

Comments

NattyLocsQueen's picture

Sounds like a win to me. He'll have to do it. I do feel that she needs to on the groubds of the kids also not eating. I've never been around who is so hell bent on trying to covince people who she is to her own kids to the point of neglecting them behind closed doors.

ndc's picture

If your husband has them full time by court order, BM isn't complying with the order and isn't paying CS, I don't know why your husband doesn't just make things easy on himself and get their hair cut.  It's hair.  It will grow back.  BM is their mother even if they don't have the hairstyle she prefers.  It sounds like she's neglecting them anyway, so can things get that much worse if she's upset about hair?  Just make sure it's your husband who is handling this - BMs go berserk if a stepmother would dare to mess with her child's hair.

NattyLocsQueen's picture

I understand what you all are saying. I do believe that my husband might as well cut their hair off on grounds of that she is damaging their hair only because of her pride and ego and not allowing them to be presentable all because of me being in the picture. It's not that serious for her to be this way so since I can't take care of their hair nor them, just cut it off so that it want be anythign to manage. Sad but true. I really can't do anything for them when they come to me about their heads itching like crazy and the mom wont take the time to clean their hair. It's childish and trifling. I wish I had some help with my biological kids the way that we are trying to help her. lol

PetSpoiler's picture

My kids don't have a stepmother, as I'm married to their dad, but I would hope that I wouldn't be so petty that my kids would suffer.  I'd most likely be asking their stepmother for advice if she was a pro at that stuff but that's just me.  Since she has a full on tantrum if you dare to step in, then your husband needs to step up and take care of this.  If she gets mad, oh well.  What's she going to do?  Go to court ranting to the judge about how their father dared to cut their hair just because she wouldn't fix it right?  Boo freaking hoo.  All your husband would have to do is take some pictures and tell the judge how their hair hasn't been washed in two months and how their heads are itching because BM doesn't know how to take care of their hair.  

Peach's picture

Let me get this straight.  She is not helping to raise them... She is not paying child support....she is sending them home hungry when they visit her.  She is not helping to wash them while they are in her care, but she is concerned about a freaking hairstyle.  She can blow it out her backside.  If the children want to cut the hair or if your spouse wants to cut, then by all means do so.  This crazy woman should be more concerned about her children eating and keeping up with their basic care.  And, she is by all means lacking in meeting their basic needs during the time they are with her.  POS!

NattyLocsQueen's picture

My point exactly! All this time when they are in her care, I would see them playing in the darn street. But today she called my husband just to let him know that they are playing at a friend's house. I'm like... okay!? So what, the kids needed you watching them play outside anyways. She would rather let their hygeine go unkept just to show she can try to do what I do. I even had to have a talk with the boys because one of them is still being disrespectful. My husband is a coward sad to say. I say this because he can't confront anyone but he can pick an argument here. Like I've told him, if he cannot do something about how she is treating the kids, then don't tell me sh@@. I know I am still married but it is not easy to leave because in the state of Iowa, parents can't leave outside of the state with a child that was born into the marriage. This is a "Stay Together" ordeal. Sad but true. But I do have my ways of working around everything. My name is on the house and I am entitled to his benefits. Therefore, the kids are set even with my income as well. All the judge have to say is that both of them are sad case. Also, he is letting her take the 3 boys out of state for a week in April. Yep!! You have read correctly.