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O my word!

aerasmus7's picture

Submitted by aerasmus7 on Mon, 01/25/2021 - 11:59am

So, after 14 years of marriage, lots of tears and fights and regrets from my side my DH finally admitted that he was influenced by his daughters sob stories (no surprise there I knew this all the time but he kept on denying it) and that the time we almost got divorced, was because of her (no surprise there either) but he always denied it and told me I was overreacting and that he never really listened to her stories.  Although I knew he was lying and she was influencing him they made me believe I was the asshole!! So, knowing this now I sort of don't know what else to believe or take heart of? AND SHE IS STILL MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL!!!!!!!!!!! She would forever send him messages and pictures of her boy but NEVER to me, but I am suppose to behave like a grandma after being told that she doesn't know why she has to call me mum (I never asked or told her she started doing it out of her own free will and amazingly still does it???) or why her son should call me grandma (again I never asked it and since then I make a point of it to not refer to myself as his grandma by saying something like come to grandma) I am just so freakin tired!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to cope with this narcissist behaviour anymore, I don't want to be second best anymore. And lately I cry about all the time for never being able to have my own kids.I know I'm brabbling but I am a bit emotional

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 01/25/2021 - 12:07pm

Isn't your DH the one who deifies his dead ex wife and only values his mini wife, not you? Gaslighting you, telling you that you are an overreacting asshole? Honestly, my dear, your SD is not the only narcissist around here, is she?  Not surprised you are emotional, with the two of them putting you down all the time and making you feel like shit. My advice is get your ducks in a row to leave, and make this year the year that you start valuing yourself, and stop making yourself a very low priority with your useless DH. 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Mon, 01/25/2021 - 12:43pm

If your SD is old enough to have a baby, she is living elsewhere.  Disengage entirely from her.  Spend your time and energy on people who respond to your love.  Good luck.

aerasmus7's picture

Submitted by aerasmus7 on Tue, 02/02/2021 - 1:37pm

Hi ladies, I am working on disengaging and I came to a very bad conclusion about myself. I have been so busy trying to be a mom and trying to be everything for everyone that I actually disengaged myself with everyone else and at this stage I do not have any friends!!! My husband has friends that he calls all the time and currently SD is having a crap load of financial troubles so she is already starting to polish her dad up by sending him love messages and pics of the grandchild, I have to grow friends and build new relationships and I actually don't have a clue how?!?!?!