SS’s weird behavior with DH...Normal or not????
SS will be 13 next week. Among SS MANY Annoying habits his behavior with DH is right up there.
First when SS either greets or excited/happy with DH SS makes this VERY Annoying high-pitched squeaking donkey noise. Only way to Describe it. Both cats now hiss and run from SS because of this noise. SS ONLY does this around DH.
Second the last few years SS has gotten SUPER clingy/needy when around DH. Will need to give DH LONG hugs multiple times a day for no reason. The last couple of months SS will stay "hanging on" on DH for ten minutes or so when DH try's to walk around the house to do things. SS is almost as tall as DH so it makes it more weird looking to see. SS has a fit if he can't sit next to DH at dinner or walk next to him when we go out. I feel like a third wheel when we go out.
Before ANYONE says anything yes I know DH is a problem for allowing it but I want to know why SS is even doing this in the first place. My brother has a son the same age as SS and even if my brother allowed this behavior my nephew would NEVER behave this way.
No idea why he does it but it
No idea why he does it but it seems like parents today don't bother to teach their kids basic manners or behavior standards. Some people may say it's because he needs more love and attention from his dad but idk. Parents today give their kids a lot more time and attention and affection than the parents of my generation and definitely more than my parents generation. I think what kids today (a lot anyway) lack is stability and a feeling that their parents are securely in charge. That's my best guess and i feel like "Grumpy Old Man" from SNL just typing it out but i still stand by it.
I think you're right. Dad
I think you're right. Dad probably thinks it's cute and doesn't realize how off putting it is for a teenager to be acting like a toddler.
It really sets up kids poorly for adulthood and teaching basic good behaviors and manners is something that starts from infancy and should go on forever! I still have to tell my SD12 not to double dip and not to touch every price of food before picking one. This is something you'd expect from a 5 year old but a 12 year old should know better.
I have a co-worker that is a grown stepkid and she is very strange. She doesn't follow many social norms and at lunch she dissects her food in the most unbecoming way. She is 35 and single and I blame her divorced parents for never teaching her good manners!
First off, you don't know how
First off, you don't know how your nephew would behave now if your brother had allowed him to be clingy and make donkey noises whenever he approached his father (I love the image of your "jackass" stepson and the cats running away from him). He too might be immature and clingy if his father had encouraged him to be that way for his entire life.
Second, even if your nephew WOULD be different, kids have different personalities. They aren't all the same at the same age. Especially at 13, where some kids are still little boys and others are shaving.
The bottom line is that WHY he does it doesn't really matter - it's not going to stop as long as your DH allows it to continue. Most likely DH feels validated by it, rather than seeing it as alarming, as most fathers would. Why aren't you more concerned with why DH allows it?
DH was raised by his single mother with no father figure
I "think" DH is just trying to over Compensate with SS what he missed growing up. Also it does not help SS is Coddled and spoiled rotten by BM so the little bastard expects royal treatment when he comes over. DH is afraid to set limits as BM does NOT so he's afraid SS will stop coming over(Very likely) if he's "to hard" on him.
IMO it's a Combination of a manipulating brat, Severe divorce daddy guilt and a over controlling in your face BM.
Again with the why.
Why SS does it is irrelevant. That DH does nothing about it is truly puke worthy.
DH needs the message that you expect and demand that your husband have some balls and that he deals effectively with the donkey braying clingy adult sized child.
I had a friend from 5th-8th grade who would bust out in an ear piercing imitation of a siren. My dad ripped his head off (Figuratively of course) the first time he pulled that shit while riding in our car. My friend never did it again anywhere near my parents.
Why really does not matter. The what matters. Ending the undesirable behavior is what a quality parent does with this kind of crap.