Your DH has anger issues. He sounds like an over grown spoiled entitled child. Good luck with the big baby. 

He wants everything his way. He does not care about you and your relationships,   Hope you are keeping all this money you are making in your own account.  Not using it for SK.  Let DH take care of SS by himself.  Cooking cleaning, ect 

Disengage from SS until DH CHANGES 

I just don't get these kind of mantrums. My DH will be the first to tell you that he's naturally lazy. And he is, unless it's something HE decides to do. Still, he asks me every day what he can do for me while I'm at work (he's retired). He ENJOYS lightening my load, even if he doesn't enjoy the chore itself.

Is he generally unwilling to do "women's work?" If so, I'd consider going on strike until there is a better balance.

When you've had some rest and your house is skid-free, have a calm conversation about how his pissy, selfish attitude was hurtful.

Well, that was jerky behavior on his part. Was that typical for him?
I'd be inclined to be just too tired to do anything for him.

Die. Let the house be a mess. Leave when he has a baby fit while vacuuming. Just let stuff go...you work hard n deserve time relax. If the house is a mess when skid comes over oh well. 

Invite company over. He might clean then. Once we had company coming over n my dh left his shaved beard hair all over the sink. I was gonna leave it there, my guests would know who the slob was. It was magically cleaned up before company arrived.

Slavery is dead. You don't have to do his fair share

I have yet to hear of a dh who cleans a toilet, lol

Wow.  The previous answers are much nicer than mine.  Maybe I am feeling the stress of my own job during this horrible mess and a similarly unhelpful DH but my suggestion is to leave for the day saying "See ya', DH.  I am going to go help people try not to DIE today.  You enjoy being "BUSY" here."  And slam the door on the way out.

Thank you for what you are doing.  You all are heroes and I hope to God that none of us need you any time soon.  Stay safe and try to get some rest.  Sending you a big hug!

Idk, it seems like a lot of these guys are just bad at life and relationships all-around. The step issues are just one of their many issues. 

All working women need a wife!  Your DH is unwilling to partner with you on this so hiring help a few days a week would be the path of least resistance. My mom is retired but earns side money by helping elderly people with cleaning and gardening as needed.  You could hire someone a few times a week for a few hours and it wouldn't cost that much. DH is home so he could let them in.  

I love my DH but his idea of cleaning is doing his own dishes and being able to walk through the house. Funny how he'll spend hours cleaning and organing the garage though! Luckily I have a well trained kid who helps out and is compensated for it.  With exH he was a slob and did nothing. I would work then come home for my "second shift." I gave up and stayed home since we couldn't afford help.  

Hope the two of you can work it out financially.  I feel your angst but can tell you from experience that the fight isn't worth it.  

IMHO anyone in a blended family marriage is rarely off topic when venting or otherwise discussing their spouse.  The root cause of oh so many blended family issues is .... the spouse who brought the failed family rude ill behaved spawn to the marriage and cannot keep their X under control.

As for Covid or otherwise supporting my bride.... I do almost all of the cooking, all of the shopping and most of the cleaning.  The one thing I don't do is her laundry.  Girly things are far beyond my ability to properly launder apparently so I do not even try any more. 

Though when it comes to cleaning I pretty much just piss her off.  Even when the house is actually clean and picked up.... it is rarely how she would do it or her standard.  I have learned to do what I do and if she decides to do it again... so be it.  What is funny about this is that I will put things in exactly the same place over and over again. The place she determined was the right place for that item.  Then..... poof!  Shit gets moved.  It drives me nuckin futz.  She is the one who set up the kitchen, linen closets, drawers, laundry room, pantry, etc...... exactly how she wanted it.  I am fine with that because I really don't care where stuff goes as long as it goes in the same place.

So, we go along happily though even during those times I occasionally get "the" look for something that does not meet her stringent standards.  Then she gets the nesting bug and shit gets moved, reset, changed, etc, etc, etc....   There is always some reason she has for making the change.  The problem is she does not engage me in that change. So, I fly somewhere for a job interview, or just stay out of her way when she gets the bleary eyed re-nesting look and the next time I go to find something or put something away while cleaning the matching items are nowhere to be found.  I look, usually opening the same drawer several times just to confirm that... nope... the spoons are no longer in the spoon spot, etc.......

I usually will look for the new place for a few minutes before I lose my shit and just pile all of the clean dishes on the island for her to deal with when she gets home.  Usually after calling her at work several times for some hints. Those calls start with her laughing, telling me where something now goes then she has to deal with a client. After a few calls for hints, she no no longer laughing and I get the "figure it out already!" message.

Meanwhile a few weeks later and back at the ranch....... I finally figure out the new system and we hit a period of connubial domestic bliss...... until we go through it all again some indeterminate unforcastable period later.

I gotta get another international assignment soon so I can get her the hell out of our house, back on an adventure and I can spend long days at work.  This being a kept man crap is going to drive me nuts.

smh

In all seriousness, I so very much appreciate my incredible bride and her extreme professionalism and unequaled work ethic.  She is truly incredible.  

And.. thank you for caring for the ill during this unparalleled epidemic health crisis.  Your DH is an asshole.  While i do understand the frustration that can arrise between spouses, particularly when one or the other partner shows their tell on being frustrated about something, I dedicate a ton of my mental capacity to making every effort to not go down the rabbit hole of throwing fuel on the fire when one or the other of us is frustrated about something that really is not fight worthy.  I do not always act effectively but I do make an effort.

My DW is an everything needs to be model home guest worthy at all times, the yard, the inside, the windows clean, etc, etc, etc....  I am a "we live here" guy who likes a neat home, clean and orderly home though not museum perfect any time much less all of the time kind of guy.  If the house it clean and presentable... she will take everything apart and polish, dust, wipe down, etc, etc, etc... then put it all back in exactly the right spot kinda person when guests are due to arrive. Which takes us back to the moving location topic I mentioned above.  It will take me weeks to find stuff once she has gone into one of her perfect house for guests cycles.

I have learned to participate in her guest preparation spit and polish efforts though in a way that keeps me demonstrating participation but does not poke the bear.  It can be a delicate balance to maintain. I am getting better at it.... 26 years into this marriage.

Thanks again for your service during this crazy time.  I hope that your DH gains some clarity and can relieve some of your pressure during this trying time.