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Almost done w/escape tunnel

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Submitted by SonOfABrisketMaker on Thu, 05/28/2020 - 10:46pm

DH decided one day last year that since I was done taking care of MIL, resentful skids and his feral dogs, he no longer needed me. Came home from work to an empty home and a sheriff on my doorstep with divorce papers. 
 

There's a huge plot hole here that hasn't been resolved so I can't get into it too much. However, I've been racking my brain for a year to figure out what was the impetus of this whole clown show. I mean, our entire marriage was one big Alice in Wonderland guessing game so this is nothing new. 
 

I heard through the gossip grapevine the other day that BM had twins in early January. I did some math and realized that she would have been far enough along to have announced her pregnancy about the same time as my suprise divorce. She married the guy she cheated on DH with and they now have everything DH had fantasized about. Big house, SD18 and SS24 living at home, new baby, lots of dogs.

 

While I am resentful that DH decided to take his frustration out on me, I can't help but feel sad for him that he manages to sabatoge everything he touches. Houses get trashed with his hoarding and pack of dogs, expensive toys disintegrate from misuse and lack of upkeep, skids avoid him because of his unreliable presence in their lives.

Comments

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 2:26am

I know that situation probably stung at the time, but it sounds like he did you a huge favor.  You shouldn't waste one more second of your life on him or BM.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 6:50am

SOBM, I hope that one day soon you feel only indifference towards your exH. What an awful thing to do to someone. {{{Hugs}}}

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 7:12am

I hope your title means you are ready to leave him.

ETA: I guess I'm confused - have you already left him?

DPW's picture

Submitted by DPW on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 7:14am

I'm confused too.

I hope you have already left him OP. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 7:11am

Oh wow!!! I had not read that crazy story.

I can't imagine the shock and betrayal your must have felt at the time but there has to be something satisfying in knowing that BM got what she wanted and because he didn't value you and make you his priority and partner the way you did with him for so long before you just had enough- he has nothing.

I hope that you have replaced the "things" that he took and that you are out there living a beautiful life- filled with friends, family and love!! 

Livingoutloud's picture

Submitted by Livingoutloud on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 7:55am

From what I understood he left her, moved out and took stuff whth him and served her divorce papers 

good riddance 

Livingoutloud's picture

Submitted by Livingoutloud on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 8:00am

Still going through divorce? Still DH until divorce is final 

or he came back and she took him back 

WarMachine13's picture

Submitted by WarMachine13 on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 10:30am

Sorry to hear that Sonofabrisketmaker. Sounds like he was still hung up on her. Real jerk thing to do.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 11:36am

Sounds like he wanted all the good things without putting in any of the work. I bet if he did a deep dive into how he acted in his marriage to BM, he'd find a similar pattern.

I'm sorry that it ended so abruptly. I hope DD is taking it okay, and that he hasn't decided to burn down BS's life in this process (not sure how his interference in that worked out).

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Submitted by SonOfABrisketMaker on Fri, 05/29/2020 - 8:28pm

By empty I mean that he, the kids and the dogs were all gone. He hid them until the judge gave me a move out date from the house. I believe I have most of my stuff (it was mostly in storage anyhow).

Yes, still in the process of divorce. It's been almost a year and there's no end in sight. However, for me, the marriage was done when he read my letter begging for reconciliation and told me to kick rocks.  I loved him but there was no way I would actively chase a man who clearly didn't want me. I think the straw that broke the camel's back was when he called my parents and threatened to have me arrested for staying in our house. My mom called in tears, terrified I would go to jail. Just a real classy guy all around. I stayed til the judge and my lawyer worked out a fair agreement.