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he needs a medal

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Tue, 03/10/2020 - 7:20pm

Does anyone know where I can order medals in bulk.  DH started the dishwasher 2 days in a row.  Both times he informed me, so I think he is waiting for a medal.  I have been washing my own dishes by hand(I have my own private stash, I won't share utensils or plates with these slobs).  I put them away and then I go to work.  Everything that DH has had to put in the dishwasher is from him and his children.  He says he's just trying to help out.  I threw up in my mouth a little and came upstairs for the night.  He is going to have to unload that dishwasher and put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher.  I unloaded the dishwasher this morning just to be nice. I didn't get a medal, nor do I expect one but not one of those dirty dishes was created by me.  Like he is doing me a favor.  I clean up after myself, clean my room and my bathroom  I rarely do much else.  Feeling done!!

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Kona_California's picture

Submitted by Kona_California on Tue, 03/10/2020 - 8:17pm

Men are seriously like children. It sucks but I feel that praising the hell out of my SO is what helped with him doing dishes more frequently. I tried it because what the hell, after reading an article about how some people (mostly men) can be trained like animals. Give em a treat when they do something right. Totally ignore them when they're doing unfavorable behavior. It's worked for some things. But so annoying. Where the hell is MY praise for doing 75% of the cleaning??? >:[ 

Mountains's picture

Submitted by Mountains on Tue, 03/10/2020 - 9:10pm

Lol

sharlyns's picture

Submitted by sharlyns on Tue, 03/10/2020 - 9:46pm

Excuse my french....but No S#!+!!!!!its funny how everything has to be a song and dance! Just because they did something! I hated it! My SS would do that! His Dumb dad praising him for wiping his.????its like are you 3?

If you're feeling done....I've been there! But what you're doing I called disengaging. When you stop doing things for them. It OK! I admit it's hard watching your home suffer and if you a neat freak like me its Torture!!! But let it be! Don't bother with the look what I did actions. Just say cool!

Making your own space was your first step. Next find a hobby or do what makes you shine! Save!save! Money every chance. If it's an option move out

 If you still want a relationship,  then have just him come over. No kids. Explain to him you care enough to create your own space go just the two of you.  If he understands cool!

If not and there's no attachment..Run! There's always another chance to find real men!

I commend you for your courage!

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Wed, 03/11/2020 - 8:23am

The endless bragging about one's own accomplishments followed by commentary ad nauseum "from others" re: how wonderful said accomplishments are?

I come from a  VERY old school European background and was taught that "tooting one's own horn" was a horrific offense!

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Wed, 03/11/2020 - 11:34am

Get a poster, hang it up in the kitchen and EVERY TIME he does a chore you give him a gold star and if he gets a certain amount he gets a treat (eye roll).

It's so ridiculous that it has to come down to praising something so mundane to a grown @ss man!

 

Lizzylemon's picture

Submitted by Lizzylemon on Wed, 03/11/2020 - 10:29am

Omg my dh got his own snack last night and wanted praise. I pat him on the head and said "good boy" lol 

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Wed, 03/11/2020 - 12:35pm

giving DH the love languages book because his is words of praise (admiration?) and he hits me with that every time I don't throw a parade for him doing something he'd have to do if he lived by himself that any adult would do.

And one week when he was especially upset about not getting praised I told him I would step it up. I thanked him and praised every single thing he did all weekend (and managed to do it without snark) except for one thing. I missed that he washed the dishes one night. Well, did he hear all the praise? NO. He was upset about that single time I missed it.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Wed, 03/11/2020 - 5:17pm

I am 1/6th of this household and did 90% of the cleaning in the kitchen because DH works more than me, but I am one person and he is 1+4 children.  When I get fed up, I'm fed up.  the skids are snots.