It does seem a bit harsh to forbid a 17-year-old to spend $5 on his girlfriend and to leave her standing there alone waiting for a ride. I don't blame them for not wanting to drive them all over the place together, but if this is even true, why is it the stepmother's place to tell the kid what he can and can't spend his money on? 

I think your DH is a fool for catering so much to this relationship, but the other family seems to be on the opposite, equally unreasonable, extreme. 

It sounds like BF's family is either really weird.. or SD is truly persona non grata over there.

I don’t really see why they had to leave SD high and dry, and why the SM is forbidding her skid from spending $5 to buy her a ticket? It’s a school event, not a family function, it’s not their choice whether she attends or not. 

I understand them not wanting to run around after her the way your DH does for them, but I’m with tog, the SM has taken it to the opposite extreme. She sounds hostile & quite nasty tbh. I’d be upset if my kid was being treated like this as well.

I agree. And think it is so freaking ridiculous, and honestly very strange, that your husband facilitates this relationship with such zeal. 

Although your husband does cater too much to his daughter and her BF, the BF's step mom sounds like a total bitch.

My thought is that SD has done something to completely alienate them or that the SM and dad are afraid they will be grandparents soon.

Where did SD sit at the banquet? If I were the SM, who had forbidden BF from buying a ticket,  I'd have tried to ensure there were no empty seats near ours.

DH needs to understand that when you drop your kid off, you are the one responsible for pickup. It is not other parents' responsibility to supervise your child at events you send them to solo. 

I think the SM was a bit over the top. It seems like the BF's SM and father may be a little over their relationship and are not happy with them spending so much time together. I can be wrong of course but its obvious that SD's presence is not wanted and your H needs to catch a hint. I don't blame them for not wanting to play "Driving Miss Daisy" around and the fact that your H does, is a whole other level of enabling. 

It reads like short of forbidding the kid to see SD, they are making it very difficult for him to see her outside of school, which means they don't want him dating her for whatever reason.

That fact that your DH keeps facilitating this relationship and driving them to and from is probably driving the boys parent's nuts. If my kid was dating somebody and the parents were throwing road blocks right and left I would tell my kid maybe take it down a notch and just be friends for now.

Your H needs therapy. Lots and lots of it.

It would be grand if the SM found this site and vented about this. 

It's not odd for parents to not want their teen to have EVERY high school memory of their accomplishments filled with a person who will likely end up being an ex.

I was able to go out with my BF (XH) in high school because I had a job, money, and a car. There was no way they would have driven me back and forth, not even a little bit.

SM is trying to instill or enforce boundaries. GOOD. If SD and BF want to see each other, they can get jobs and buy cars and get licenses and wait until they are 18 and able to do what they want when they want.

And given how your SD is to you, I'm assuming she's similar to BF. And I'd also assume BF's parents either caught SD and BF in the act or found some proof of their indiscretions. They're likely worried their son is going to knock her up. Can't really blame them.

Wow,  To me, it sounds like the BFs family is teaching him to treat women like crap.  Im sorry but they are just weird. 

They could have just said, no she can't go with them.  Instead they go out of their way to make her feel unwanted the whole time.  How embarrassing for them and her.  

Clueless on the side of your SD and DH, low class on the side of the BF and his family.

Not good either way.

Sorry - did not read all of the comments...

My mind is wired a little differently and my first thought was about the $5. While it may not seem like a lot for most, is it possible that the reason this boy was forbidden to spend $5 on SD, why his parents refuse to drive them anywhere, why the boy never has any money is because THEY have very little money and things are tight for them??

should call the family and clear the air. My son had a "puppy love" at 14 who he spent hours on the phone with. When they wanted to meet at the movie theater or go to each other's houses, I called her dad, who she lived with. I think he would've preferred my son get swallowed up by a sinkhole lol, but we mutually agreed that they could hang out together if they never, ever were alone. I wouldn't even let them go up in our tiny treehouse alone! COMMUNICATION would clear 99% of this up. We're all speculating and the two sets of parents haven't even talked! Edit: and to this day, my son and this girl are Facebook/Insta friends. He's 30 and she's 29.

Is it possible BF's SM is doing exactly what a lot of people say here...don't spend your money on skids. Maybe she said go ask your dad, maybe dad is a tightwad. Or maybe they told BF he would have to pay for it, maybe BF refused to spend his own money. Maybe that big house is more than they can afford, maybe BF's dad is paying alimony out the nose, maybe SD told them to leave cuz her dad is on the way, maybe they had somewhere to go after the banquet, maybe they dont have room in their car for another person, maybe BF and SD spinning stories to you, DH and his parents.

Maybe DH should call BF's dad just as an icebreaker...something like hey this is SD's dad and since our kids are spending so much time together just wanted to give you a call. Maybe DH should invite BF dad out for coffee or something.  Communication between the 2 could end all the maybe's.

Maybe DH is so in favor of the relationship thinking BF is from a well to do family, maybe the kids go from high school sweethearts to someday married and SD will be well taken care of. Crazier things have been imagined by people.

The reason they don't want SD there 24/7 could be as simple as the bf's grades slipping ... If she's there all the time, how can he get all his homework/schoolwork done properly? Not to mention his chores... If they're investing in his (bright and profitable) future, they're not going to want a piece of skirt turning him away from the straight and narrow.

Question, becuase my brain is just fascinated by this:

Does your DH think SD is a virgin? Does he think that SD and BF are just snuggling when they are alone and together this much? Like, has he actually put 2 and 2 together and realized that they're having sex and likely videoing themselves when they should be sleeping at night?

All he is doing is facilitating sex. Why is that okay in his brain?!?!

So many theories......maybe just maybe the parents of the BF have made it clear that if he wants to do extras he has to pay for it. They are drawing a line. Who knows what kind of budget they are on. OR BF is too cheap to spring on $5, so per usual skid blames the SM. Seriously if the SM was so evil, why hasnt his dad rescued him and pd for the GF?  Does BF have a PT job? If not maybe the parents were trying to push him to have one and he hasnt bothered? So they draw the line in spending on his friends or GF?  Maybe the BF is rude to the SM so she is tired of catering to him and now the GF who was always over. Plus the big factor the BF parents are heavily discouraging this relationship.

Your DH is weird about this. Not many daddeees out there who push their DD's to have relationships. 

Please keep us posted