You have to get honest with yourself: NO you do not have to support this married man. He's using you. 

Too much drama!

The dude was living in her house?  He is clearly not ready to move on.  His being homeless is not on you.  You are being taken advantage of.  
 

Stop it.  Let him figure himself out.  If yours is a love for the ages, he will pull himself together, will get the divorce and then will be ready.  Right now, you are more likely to grow to resent him b ecause he is not adulting well right now.  6 months after a major breakup isn't a time to start a new relationship when you can't even take care of yourself. 

Dont invite his trouble into your life.  It's a recipe for disaster.

This is not your situation to fix. Please step away from it and chalk the 3 months up to experience.

When a couple separates, they don't generally continue living under the same roof. Remember that all you know about their situation comes from him - he may or may not be telling you the entire truth. Whether he ends off at the hands of his "crazy ex" depends on him, not you. It's up to him to sort out his situation and find a solution.

If he had any sense, he'd get a divorce ASAP and get all of his financial details AND child visitation sorted out. If his ex has him by the short and curlies it's because he is doing damn all to change that.

Look, no man is worth all this stress - not to mention the fact that his "baggage" will not be going away anytime soon. By putting him up, you are just prolonging the situation because he no longer feels any sort of urgency to fix it. My advice? Light   a fire under his bum by putting him out. It might give him the motivation he needs. If not, he'll just find another nice woman to pay his way for him.

Three months is such a short time to find yourself in this kind of crap. Don't waste your young years, it really isn't worth it.

This is going to sound harsh, but you need to do a little thinking yourself. Your act to move him in wasn't selfless. You were already dating, and at only 3 months, you think he's perfect for you. No one can know that after 3 months. Not a soul. And you especially can't know that when the other person is emotionally unavailable as this abused man is.

While allowing him to move in with you was nice, moving him into your bed was not. Expecting him to contribute to your household expenses is not, considering it sounds like he is being financially controlled. Wanting him to be your BF while he's enduring all of this is not a fair request in the slightest as he isn't emotionally healthy enough to be with you WHILE ALSO trying to be emotionally healthy enough to be with his kids.

You need to point him in the direction of a domestic violence shelter. Contact one and see if an advocate can meet at your place. Your BF has A LOT he needs to get processed, and with kids in the mix, this needs to get out of limbo sooner rather than later.

I want to make this perfectly clear: you cannot save him in this. Your acting loving and caring in a romantic way only damages this situation further. It's preventing him from biting the bullet and filing for legal separation where he gets control of his assets because you're keeping him afloat. It prevents him from establishing a parenting plan and a temporary custody order because he can visit the kids with the ex and the ex retains control. It prevents him from being able to heal from what he's been through because he immediately has to stop focusing on himself and focus on you.

Additionally, because he's married, his ex can turn you into "the other woman" in court and that can affect his custody and split of marital assets. He'll get CRUSHED for being a "cheater". Family court is no joke, and if you have any inkling that other courts may be unfair, family court is an absolute circus.

Your presence gives his ex fuel to alienate his kids from him, both legally and relationally. He could lose his kids, or be stuck battling for them for the next 16+ years.

You can be his confidante through this. You can care about his wellbeing. But being his GF will have more downsides for him in the present and you long-term. You'll be deemed the home wrecker, whether that's true or not. Your BF needs to stand up and take care of this, with the help of his friends, family, and advocates.

This isn't your battle. This man is barely your BF. You're 24 years old. Do not get dragged into this as a party to the divorce. Be supportive, but do it right. Offer him a room, stop giving him sex, bring over an advocate to talk to him, give him 6 months rent-free before he needs to start contributing as a roommate. But the actual romantic relationship needs to end ASAP.

You sound like a "fixer" - people (often women) who like to take on a "project" (often a man). Just don't. The problems are endless with this guy. Who knows what the crazy, angry ex will do, not to mention why in the hell woud you want to be with a man who sponges off of you and doesn't contribute to your household? I know I could not be with a man who expected me to take care of him financially - that is a huge turnoff. You are only 24 years old - kick him out and find a guy your age without all that baggage and drama.

OP - you fix this situation by telling this "perfect" guy to give you a call when he's divorced, and ending the relationship. 

I met my DH when he had been separated for 10 months - they were more settled than yours is, they had a custody agreement and each had a separate household.  It wasn't until we'd been dating a year (NOT living together) that we realized BM had hoped he'd come back, and she went batshit crazy when she realized he wasn't. That was when the fun began, multiple court battles, parental alienation, stress beyond belief, and money flying out of our house to lawyers, etc.  We made it work, but it was tough, and as much as I love my DH - 10/10, would not recommend.

You can't save this guy, he has to get on his own two feet. What would he have done if you didn't swoop in to fix the situation? He can go live with his parents, his brother, his best friend - even if they live across the country, if that's his only option, then so be it.  Where is the other 30% of his income going?  He can rent a room in someone's house. He can seek counsel from domestic violence advocates.  There are options - and none of them entails him being supported by a woman he just met 3 months ago. He really should be ashamed of himself for allowing you to support him, quite frankly.

I also agree with Lieutenant Dad - you have rose-colored glasses on to be saying he's "perfect" after 3 months, you barely know him.   At 24, you can't swing a cat without hitting a single, childless man with none of this baggage.  Find one.

This is really not hard to fix. Tell your boyfriend that you've realized he's not ready for a new relationship (he's not) and that he will need to move out.  If he's really Mr. Perfect and this relationship was meant to be, you can resume dating him once he's divorced, financially settled and independent, and managing his court ordered parenting time on his own for a while.  You jumped into this relationship with an older man with a LOT of baggage way too soon; with any luck this will be a major learning experience.

The man can not give 70% of his income to his ex.  He can not live on 30% of his income.  Think about it. If that true all divorce men would be living in the divorce men tent city.  He has to get this settle ASAP.   The most he should be paying is 30% .  He is using you, he still attached to the ex, he still supporting his ex or you are supporting his ex. 

Let me see .... I want to get this right.

The "moral" thing to do was to move a married man, a man married to someone other than you, into your home, sleep with him, take him from his wife and children?

In what delusional dimension is that in any way "moral"?  Either for you or for him?

Now for allowing him to let you support him while he supports his wife and kids.  Ummmm Nope!

You are  being played so hard.  Financially, emotionally, intimately, etc......

Grow up, extricate your head from your own ass and cut this train wreck loose.   This man Is so far from equity life partner material it shouldn't even be a consideration for you.

What, exactly, makes this manipulative abject failure of a non man, failed husband and failed father so perfect for you?

We see so many of these situations where "Mr Wonderful " is a failed POS at all discernible levels yet is "perfect for (me)".  It is sad that so many people are so desperate that they tolerate POS people like this guy.

Take care of you, move on to a happy life with this POS and his toxic baggage fading into your past.  Before it is too late and this toxic shallow and pollluted pool consumes your young life and vitality.  Rescue project never pay off for the rescuer.  I had a few of them in my younger years and regretted every one of them.
 

It's really not all that complicated. You need to get out of this relationship, he needs to take care of his business.

The married Prince Charming with an infant and toddler is having a spat with his WIFE and is sleeping on the couch. Then enters the sympathetic younger woman to save him from his sexless marriage.  Maybe the poor woman was having postpartum issues or not getting enough sleep, you know with a newborn and all.  I can't imagine why this situation isn't working out for you or what in the world his WIFE has to be angry about.  But I'm sure your married boyfriend is being completely truthful about everything and he'd never do the same thing to you.  

How is it morally right to ask married man to leave his marital home and move in with you? And how is it even logical to financially support someone else's husbsnd whom you only dated for 3 months?

by the way sleeping on a couch (how do you even know that?) is no indication of separation. Ton of married couples don't share a bed for number of reasons (had a fight or nit feeling well etc) It doesn't make them not married and available for dating. Even having marital problems doesn't make them "not married". Clearly she considered them being married. 

who cares if he will be homeless? He'll either go back to his family if she forgives an affair or he will go find some other desperate girl and moves in.

i am not surprised this woman is acting irrational. She was cheated on. She has very young kids and young family and he sleeps with someone else and then moves out to live in mistress's house! No wonder she is upset 

Situations like your boyfriends are where friends and family can often step in and help with advice, support and accomodation.  This is what most homeless people do, they are mostly sleeping on couches, only the tip of the iceburg is sleeping on the streets. He needs to lean on those that have known and cared about him for longer than you have and if things even out then maybe you two might have a shot at things when he has managed to get to a more even place in his life. 

If that is absolutely impossible then I am afraid that you are going to need to be strict with him and tell him that you cannot be with a partner long term who does not find solutions to problems and solve things for himself. He needs a plan to get to a better situation. He needs to show you that plan and then regularly provide proof that he is making progress towards it. The plan could involve saving up funds for a down payment on his own accomodation, it could involve getting information about his rights as a father, he could start reading up and learning about abusive relationships and how to break the cycle, he could find resources in your local community to help him navigate divorce and getting parental rights on paper, he could look into if he is entitled to any benifits from the state or if his employer offers any support with legal matters, it would be good if the plan involved making some sort of contirbution to your household no matter what it is to show you how much he apprechiates what you are doing for him. There is plenty he can do he he chooses. 

If he cannot make significant progress within a timeframe that suits you then you will need to kick him out. It sounds mean, but it is the only way to truely help him. If he cannot help himself while you are helping him then by continuing to support him you enable him to continue to be used by his ex while not putting his life back together. 

Maybe tell him to come and see you when he sorted out his marriage situation. It all still fresh and there will be more problems to come. If it meant to be it will be. But at the moment you need to let him go sort out his situation. Or you are both going to end up miserable the love wont last. 

It seems very fantasized.  Where is OP?

The OP has ghosted.  I am guessing either she does not like what she is hearing or .... it was bullshit.

‘It became clear that she had changed her mind about the separation, and was trying to regain control over her ex husband.’

Um, he’s not her ex husband, he’s her husband. They aren’t divorced yet, which means they are very much still married.

I don’t hate on people who get involved with separated people, as divorce can take years... but you got involved with him before he’d even moved out of their house. You’ve been together for 3 months and you’re already living together???

Girl, WHAT are you doing. This guy isn’t ‘perfect for you’, he’s a mess. He’s a mess with a WIFE, not an ex-wife. His drama isn’t yours to fix, so if you want out just kick him out & be done with it. Tell him to come back when he’s got his life together...

You're 24 years old, financially supporting and providing shelter for a married man with 2 kids under 2. This is basically the antithesis of any romance. I wouldnt believe that he easnt sleeping with her or that they were involved or he was sleeping on the couch. You are young his future will always include that ex wife and those two tiny kids who need their parents. The ex wife will forever blame you for being the other woman who broke their marriage and drill it into the 2 kids' heads that you helped their daddy cheat on their mommy and he ran off with you. Really bad way to start a relationship.  Get some self esteem and get out of this relationship.  He is a grown man, a father of 2 small children under 2, already living with a 24 yr old only 6 months after leaving his wife, which means the kids where only 6 months and 1 year old when he left her. Can you imagine if you had a baby that was 6 months old and a 1 year old and your husband moved in with someone? This guy is bad news.

Interesting that this poster has yet to respond to any of the comments......smh

Way too much drama with this guy! Also be wary of "crazy ex" stories. Just remember there are two sides to every story. My ex made bm out to be crazy, possessive, etc. After I broke up with him (I got tired of his anger outbursts, using and selfishness) I ran into bm and it turns out she's actually pretty normal and had a much different story to tell. Looking back I believe he wanted me to hate his ex as a part of his manipulations, triangulations.