Teenage stepson issues

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Hi everyone! I am in a marriage with my wife who has a teenage stepson. We have been married for a little over a year. Understandably it has been a hard transition for him as he is used to been with his mum and then I come along. He's not a really bad lad and in general he does what I ask him, but there is one particular thing I cannot stand. Practically every time we go out together, (Myself, mother and son) he won't shut up talking to her, it's literally practically constant. He doesn't ask me questions and involve me in the conversation and he dominates it. I have tried to speak up myself and make a conversation with my wife so as to be able to talk to her too, yet at any tiny gap in the conversation he'll jump in and take over. I've told me wife about this before and she hasn't done anything about it. I've also noticed I'm like a puppy and follow them around as they stick close together and walk off where they want rather than let me guide as the husband. I feel like a little kid, I've tried to be assertive but it only briefly works and I can tell they don't like it. I'm sick of it as I feel pushed out. Any ideas? I've already tried talking about it to no avail.

Stop going out with them, and

Stop going out with them, and stop thinking that because you are the husband that you should get to guide them wherever it is that you're going.

So it's ok for them to push

So it's ok for them to push me out and act like I'm not there? I don't mean dictate to them every movement, but a family should be together.

Nope it's not okay for them

Nope it's not okay for them to do that. My partner and his daughter did the same thing to me so I stopped going along with them. He doesn't like it, but I don't care. I only go out and do things with him when the kids aren't there

It's not okay, but your DW

It's not okay, but your DW doesn't care that it's not okay. So you stop going out with them. Your wife is playing a stupid game, so she's going to win the stupid prize of not having her husband come along. If she doesn't like that, then all she has to do is 1) walk with you when you all are out, and 2) include you in the conversation.

Yep, if your wife won't do

Yep, if your wife won't do anything about it, then decline to go anywhere with them. (I too find it a bit odd that you believe husband's "lead" the family - that's a bit sexist and old-school for me, but of course you should not be trailing behind while they ignore you.)

I've already tried talking

I've already tried talking about it to no avail.

Then, it's time for action. Like suggested above, stop going places with them.

What is it like at home? Does he do the same thing?

At home he'll speak a lot to

At home he'll speak a lot to her when she gets home from work, which is fine and of course understandable, but most of the time he'll be in his room. Out on the street however he's practically living in her ear.

At home he'll speak a lot to

most of the time he'll be in

most of the time he'll be in his room. Out on the street however he's practically living in her ear.

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My guess is that he does not engage with his mom much at home since he is in his room so much, So when they are out and about his is actually forced to engage.

You sound a little controlling so this would be my advice. Let them be when you are all out or dont go. Your wife only has a few more years at home with him.

I assume yall are not out A LOT since he is a teenage boy. If you all go out and about as a family everyday or so then my advice may be different.

Leave her!

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Huh? Why on earth would you recommend this?

He is in a new marriage and has a good SS but the SS talks to much when they are out and about. They are all trying to find their place in this family and you really want him to destroy his new marriage because of this?!

It’s a DW problem first

She letting this behaved happen, even after you told her. Son comes first, you come ?? Third after the dog Time to take a good look at your life

You have to force your DW to

You have to force your DW to recognize that YOU and the marriage you share is her top priority just as you consider her and the marriage to be hers.

Kids never are the priority over the marriage. They are the top marrital responsibility but not the priority.

So, quit trailing them for crumbs and man up. Shut him up and keep him shut up to an appropriate level and drive the conversation yourself. If he misses the point inform him that if he cannot be polite and cognizant of including everyone else present in the conversations that he will not be included when you and your wife go out to dinner.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

E.g.

You: "So my dear what do you think of XYZ & LMNOP?"

DW: "Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk."

You: "I like that and I agree"

You: "I also think ABC and QRST."

You: "Skid, what do you think?"

Skid: "Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, tal............"

You: "Okay, now it is your mom's turn.........."

Manage the kids blather, if he won't shut up, let him know that he can go to the car until you and his mom finish the meal or whatever other activity may be in process.

Do not abdicate your place as your bride's equity life partner to her son. Ever. He is not an adult, he does not get to control crap in the relative scheme of the blended family dynamic. He can be in control after he launches.

Make it a point to discuss this problem regularly with your bride until together you get SS under control on this.

Good luck.

I didn't go out to a

I didn't go out to a restaurant with DH and SDs for about 1.5 years because their behavior in public was abhorrent and DH did nothing. I also limited other outings. It's doable.

If he interrupts, then shut your mouth and be done with the conversion. Walk away or change subject. I found that "oh it was nothing" when DH finally got back to me was effective. He eventually stopped OSD interruptions because he realized what was happening.

I don't think "as a man you lead" is true. Maybe you and your wife walk together, as a couple. Rephrase that in your head....

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