You are here

Frustrated and confused....

rhabelow's picture

Submitted by rhabelow on Sun, 11/17/2019 - 1:59pm

Young adult skids (s21 & d17) never have had to help around house or contribute.   Literally sheltered and lazy.  Father wants me (gf) to work, clean house and cook with no help or contribution from skids.  Hostile attitudes and now 5 years later the hard feelings and rooted deep and I feel I can't go on.   The bfs attitude of protecting his kids and I'm the outsider, the manipulative drama and power plays from spoiled skids.  And now realizing bf is biggest problem.  

Comments

captjacksprrw's picture

Submitted by captjacksprrw on Sun, 11/17/2019 - 4:17pm

Unless you are certain that you want the incrdible mound of work associated with trying to fix this AND BF is willing to come to that party then run now.  I've been there, rooted the hard feelings, etc.  and am lucky to be able to rebuild now but I did marry DW and am deeply in love.  The 'kids' will never change on their own and they will not have any life skills to allow them to leave the house and thrive.

Right now, he has the maid with benefits that he wants.  Unless he is 100% serious in working with you and drastically changing, pack up and go now.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 2:00pm

If they want to treat you like an outsider, your BF included, then BE the outsider - move out. Stop being their maid and cook, and stop contributing financially.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sun, 11/17/2019 - 6:35pm

Well, I don't think I'd have put up with this for 5 years - but it's time to stop being the maid and let him pick up the slack (if not leave entirely, they all sound very entitled, including your BF, who thinks you should clean up after his children).

rhabelow's picture

Submitted by rhabelow on Mon, 11/18/2019 - 7:43am

Thank you for your comments, I don't have any family who I can confide in or ask for help.  I do not want to involve my adult children although I have spoken with them lightly on the events within the household.   I had an epiphany during the time when bf was in hospital and I have known in the back of my mind that bf is problem and I see how badly it has affected me and i just can't hold my head up around him and his kids.   It's worse when they are around and I feel like a puppet.   I tried to make it work but i can't stay in this situation.