cuddling?
It’s been a while since I’ve posted partly because everything has gotten a lot better and also because I don’t have time to do anything with all these kids lol. It took me a lot of thinking to finally decide I need to talk to someone about it. It’s not even all that bad just really weird and uncomfortable. My SO and my SD5 cuddle with each every morning on the couch. I’ve always had a problem with it mostly because I can’t even get him to be that intimate with me ever. I ignore it though because he doesn’t listen to me if I brought it up anyways. Well I walked into my living room and of course expected them to be laying together but this time neither of them had clothes on besides their underwear. I couldn’t even look I was so grossed out by it. I immediately just turned around and walked back to the bedroom. I don’t know wether I’m overreacting or not but I’m really leaning towards not.
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Why have you decided to stay?
Why have you decided to stay?
I love them, our kids love
I love them, our kids love them, and as much as I vent we both have grown and keep trying to better ourselves for each other. They just have such an odd cringey relationship.
I wish you the best, really I
I wish you the best, really I do.
I really appreciate that. We
I really appreciate that. We are doing a lot better since we’ve started talking to each other about problems.
That's just ... no. Not
That's just ... no. Not appropriate. Fine to cuddle with her, but not in their underwear. If I were her mother, I'd have a big issue with that.
You mentioned in a previous post
You mentioned in a previoius post, "well after I leave the room to feed DD1 my SD goes and lays with him." There was no context as to where this may have happened, but do they do lots of "cuddling" or laying together? I don't know how it would even happen that Dad and Daughter would end up in their underwear together on the couch. At 5 years, she is too old to be cuddling with her Dad while they are both in their underwear.
Yes. She literally is right
Yes. She literally is right on top of him every second of the day when they’re both home. Even when he holds one of the babies she’s right on top of him.
a bit of cuddling and
a bit of cuddling and affection? fine.. but they should be wearing more than just some underwear.. certainly a tshirt and boxers for him at minimum.. and she should be wearing her PJ's (or regular clothes).
He should also be able to show you some affection in front of the kids.. maybe not total PDA but kids should see him care about you too.
That’s how I feel towards it
That’s how I feel towards it too.
I ignore it though because he
I ignore it though because he doesn’t listen to me if I brought it up anyways.
So you can't bring up your concerns about him cuddling with his daughter in their underwear. This is a red flag and not appropriate. You should be able to communicate with him and addressed him right then and there. You can't keep biting your tongue because he doesn't listen to you. What do the other kids think of this behavior?
They’re both too little to
They’re both too little to really grasp what’s going on. I hope they grow out of it before the babies see it and understand it.
The cuddling to me is fine,
The cuddling to me is fine, without clothes on getting a little ehhh, but that combined with him not being intimate with you sends out spousification signals to me. I'm not 100 percent on that just based on the few details here, but I could see it as a possibility.
Mini wife in the making!!! I
Mini wife in the making!!! I have vented here before. SD19 still sits on DH's lap. We will he watching tv with plenty of seating and she comes and sits in his lap!!!! Sometimes it never ends and it's always gross!!!!
Oh that is gross.....I'd
Oh that is gross.....I'd friggen run!
Her threads remind me of
Her threads remind me of posts of LONG ago. When we were allowed to write about the crew.
Posts that do not pass the
Posts that do not pass the smell test.
Op you ask a question and
Op you ask a question and when you are answered you back peddle, back peddle, back peddle. I hope for your sake it's all worth it, because the questions you ask I can tell you "NO IT'S NOT NORMAL!" Yet when people tell you this, suddenly you have an explanation to explain away all of the behaviors you are questioning.
I guess I try to stay open
I guess I try to stay open minded about things. In the sense that I want to see every possible explanation as to why someone’s does things so I can understand it. I agree with everyone about it being odd and not normal which is why I came here in the first place was for that confirmation. I also can’t help but try and defend things when I don’t agree with it being something more than it is. I write to make sure I’m not crazy.