Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger....

Forums:

Not technically step related but.....

DH’s 84 year old dad called to our house for morning tea yesterday grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I asked him what he was so happy about to which he replied he ‘had a new romance’ but that she was ‘a bit younger’.

By a bit younger, he means she is 50 years old to his 84 years young!

We have been here before. 2 years ago he flew from Australia to America and proposed to a woman he met online that he had never met before. Needless to say, that hit the fan and went nowhere.

I feel bad as obviously he is lonely but it is almost like he is asking to get conned out of his money. It’s ridiculous!

My husbands nephew was engaged to an imaginary

Singer. She was real, he had never met her in real life but was engaged. Turns out he wasn’t sure he had her number because he got the numbers of several women. Whats even more hilarious is the person he’d thought he was engaged who was a singer whom he never met, was always sick in hospital from lung transplant surgery that he couldn’t see her.

she has the belting voice of like Anastasia or christina aguilera.... not possible if she just had a lung transplant. To top it off it turns out a gay boy was conning him and pretending to be this chick the whole time.

the laughs in our family how effed up this was and embarassing. Nephew apparently was so traumatised that any cousins of his getting married he couldn’t know or it would upset him...

all kinds of weird stuff happen and i get the wanting to be protective and make sure your dad isn’t taken advantage of. My sil was conned out of like 60 grand and didn’t wanna press charges. She was embarassed about everything with her son and fake relationship

that's a proper CatFish scenario...

That could be on MTV's Catfish tv show!! It always surprises me how people fall for it when they haven't met the person or at least even Facetimed them to verify that they are who they say they are. I guess when people think they are in love, all caution goes out the window.There has been enough stories in the news by now that you'd think people would be a bit wiser to getting asked for money.

A girl I used to work with, her mum lost her house as she remortgaged it to give 100k to some bloke she met online. The police said once the money had gone offshore (to Nigeria, although he purported to be French Canadian) there was nothing they could do. The crazy thing was, even after the police said it was a love scam, he got back in touch with her and she sent even more money! That was the shocking bit. The absolute power of self-delusion.

Yeah hubbys family had a secret whatsapp family chatting

group about this. We were overseas at the time and each sibling was doing recon online, we all found red flags mins in and it was so hilarious the stupidity. One of my sil went to their eldest brother to talk to this sister because she was being conned, he said he didn’t wanna meddle and washed his hands off

i told my husband you need to step up and guide her because you’re an educated banker. He actually took hold of the situation to give her guidance. Things amped up when we were in the country. Oh and the gay boy that was in love with my husbands macho straight nephew, they were sleeping in our bed in hubbys childhood home when he tried to make a move on him, we have a permanent reminder of that incident with a punched hole in bedroom door...

Lol! DHs grandfather married

Lol! DHs grandfather married a 45 year old woman from Russia when he was 87 years old. Three years later she took off with his money and he died shortly after. She didn’t know enough to come back for the house. Maybe she had some compassion at least. She just cleaned out his cash. Sad huh.

that's really sad.

DH's mum died 30 years ago, so his dad lost her and was widowed pretty young in life. So because he is so lonely, I said to DH, your dad is ripe for the plucking to get conned. No wonder these love scams are so effective.

I just can't see any woman of 50 being interested in a man who could be her father. He is fit and still mentally all there but still.

Lol this post is sure gonna come out with funny

ridiculous relationship con stories

Ugh. I'm so grateful my

Ugh. I'm so grateful my widowed mother has no interest in remarrying. "Why would I want some old man!" she says.

Maybe she needs a boy toy

Hmmmm

My DH is 30 years older than me ... I was financially independent when we met and married. Unfortunately, I have been accused of being a gold digger for the entire 13 years of our marriage (plus a few other choice words) Not all younger women are after money.

There's a big difference

There's a big difference between 25 with 55 and 50 with 84.

I don’t agree

my husband is in his late 80’s and I am in my 50’s so I have to disagree with that perspective ...

but you met and married him years ago...

I think that's the difference. You didn't met him yesterday and he was in his 80's.

Yes, that's what I meant -

Yes, that's what I meant - when you meet.

DH and I have an age gap relationship

of some 11 years and I've seen others that work really well. In this instance, I just can't see why a 50 year old woman would want to start a relationship with someone in their dotage. I really cant.

Precisely!

DH and I have an age difference,however, I am educated (several degrees), BK's father and I divorced after 25 years. I was a with him before his career began, and I was there after he retired, and entitled to half his retirement. We used HIS uncle as our divorce attorney. At MY suggestion, I waived my rights to half of his retirement check. How many women do you know who would do THAT? Especially if they are "gold diggers?"

Fast forward 15 years, I moved on, met DH, dated for many years before marrying. I knew eventually, his plan was to give everything to his very wealthy adult kids who have multiple homes, etc. I also knew he protected his previous wife diligently, and looked out for her financial future and her well-being. She was able to live in their home (the one we now live in) until she passes. I do not have that luxury because of SD's manipulation of DH. It's complicated at best.

DH and I work hard, side by side daily, and we are very active. I gave up my career to be his 24/7 wife/"rock" (his words) & companion. Something he had NEVER had in his lifetime, and long term family and friends have told me, (& DH) "He's been married before, but he's never had a loving companion and wife until now. Everyone else was always in it for what THEY COULD GET out of it."

Other sacrifices have been made on my behalf as well, yet adult SK's have accused me of "using dad." Really, how? To the average onlooker, it could appear (and this has been called to my attention) that SK's and DH could be using me, as I am substantially younger (not quite a 30 year age difference), and couldn't they be using me, as SK's are NEVER here if DH has health issues or needs surgery, (he's very active) so I guess people see only what they choose to.

I realize "sex" isn't everything to a marriagem and I have given up traditional bedroom intimacy, during the prime of my life, as it is just not possible at his age, and I'm ok with that. Why? Because I LOVE HIM.

I guess like the word "stepmother" conjures up prejudicial images, marriages with age differences also do. Stereoptypes are unfair, but they exist.

The bottom line is, if it works for THE COUPLE, that is all that matters. Most people trying to figure out my life would do very well to put that energy toward themselves, and try to figure out their own.

I wish him all the happiness, and hope the intentions here are pure.

What is a 'career spouse?"

Being Married To Someone During Their Entire Career

I sent you a message.

Thanks, I replied.

I'd never heard that before x

Good for him, hope he has

Good for him, hope he has some fun. Your DH should have a talk with him about protecting his finances just in case. She may just want a stable daddy figure or she may want money or a bit of both. Maybe he wants a caretaker! If he has all his ducks in a row, will already written, and finances protected then there's not much damage a new woman can do.

A new marriage renders a previous will invalid.

Where we are in Australia it does. Also, a partner of over 2 years establishes 'de facto' rights equivalent to a spouse.

Is he really planning on

Is he really planning on getting remarried at 84? I do hope his son will talk some sense into him and protect himself if he does enter into this arrangement. There are many ways to protect your assessts besides a will. I have no idea what Australian laws are and barely know the ones in the US since every state is different.

If he wants to ensure he has a younger caretaker it would be cheaper to hire a visiting nurse!