That hot bath is a good start. Exercise would be another good strategy. Channel those feelings into some cardio - a bike ride, kickboxing, a nice long run (preferably on the way to a coffee or donut shop). You're not alone. I've only recently come to realize that the laundry list of horrible things I feel (much like the one you listed above) can be classified as an axiety attack. And here I thought I was just pumped up on too much adrenaline! 

Try not to let that tension explode on the wrong person. It won't help if your pent-up rage is misdirected or ill-timed. But for the love of mercy, don't let it fester. That is a lesson I'M still learning. Get it out. This blog is a great platform for that. 

If things get worse when SS11 is around, try to find reasons to avoid each other, at least for a little while. Not that avoiding a problem is the answer but if you can manage to put some space between you and the problem, it could help you deal or at least give you some lead time to get your feelings under control before facing the problem head on.

You will be ok. ((hugs)) 

Seriously, how can you NOT be planning an exit? If it is that bad, then you need to. Long term this stress will have a devastating effect on your health...and length of your life. 

Seriously? Is staying with your man worth that? 

DMO416~ I think you have a good plan and hope all goes smooth for you during this next chapter in your life. No its not easy but nothing worth having ever is. You deserve your peace & sanity and glad that you are taking the necessary steps to make that happen. As far as coping you've had some good suggestions like exercise, hot bath, treat yourself to a spa, meditate, see a therapist if possible to give you tools and coping skills for your situation. Get all your ducks in a row and know that you got this and your future self will thank you.

Wishing you well!

Xanex.

Seriously. I take a very low dose of Xanex. I love those little pills. I keep some at work, some in my purse, some on my night stand. I have panic attacks, not as much as I used to, but there is no  way in hell I would ever give up those little suckers.  I had an insurance issue before DH and I got married and my insurance no longer covered my primary care doc. I had to switch and the new doc wouldn't give them to me. I get the lowest dose possible and usually 30 pills every 60-90 days. I am not an addict. I wound up being a cash patient at my old doctor until DH and I married and I switched insurances again. 

I love that they only last a few hours and they are out of your system. I love that they help me just enough to sleep at night when I can't. I love that they are low dose enough that if I have an attack at work, I pop a pill, go get a drink in the break roomand can be back at my desk and fine within 15 mins., I am not so exhausted that I NEED to sleep, I can keep on going. 

Frankly, you need to run like every demon from Hades is hot on your heels and you can feel their hot breath on the back of your neck. Seriously.

However, if you feel that you MUST stay for one more month... 

• Talk to your doctor ASAP about some anxiety meds. Definitely something that works quickly (panic attacks)
• Don't be around when the skids are there. Go to the gym or a park or zoo. 
• Spend hours at the movie theater or window shopping at the mall.
• Go to the tallest building and ride the elevator up and down, stopping at every floor.

Hon, life is too short for you to be so horribly miserable. {{hugs}}

I know that you feel that you need time, but I might be tempted to work out a back up plan for if I had to absolutely leave today. What are the bare essentials I need to take with me, which friend/relative could put me up for a week or two while I keep saving up. Or perhaps contact a a shelter which could house you for a short while if you needed it or at least give you some advice. You might be sleeping on a couch but at least you will be out of there. You might have to go back for some stuff at a later date, but you would have what you need and can go back on your own terms when you are ready. Knowing that you could up and leave right now might help you to feel like you have options rather than being forced into staying for a little longer. 

Getting help and support from those around you will help you feel like you have a safety net. Go to your doctor and tell them you are dealing with these symptoms and that you are planning on leaving your abusive partner, tell a close friend or relative what is going on and seek advice from those who are knowledgeable about domestic abuse. There is help and support out there for you, but you have to do the hardest part first and open up about what is going on. 

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