Excluded by girlfriend
Hello. I am a step to two girls. 4,7. Bio dad invited girls roam event. Usually when that happens, bio mom and I spend quality time together while he has them for the hour or so. There is no custody agreement so we have the kids 95% of the time. For some odd reason this time when bio dad randomly decided to see the girls, gf said she don’t know if she wants me to go. I’m and upset about it. I feel excluded. We have been in a weird place in our relationship but still enjoy our time together. I’m feeling less apart of a family and more like a babysitter. She only wants me around when it’s convenient now. This is not the way the first 7 months went. I was included in every decision and every event. If I wasn’t invited, she usually didn’t attend. Now it’s the complete opposite. It’s been this way for a month now and to be honest I’m over it. Step is hard enough. But now I’m feeling unwanted. I’m not the or even a priority.
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Then you need to speak to her
Sounds like you need to speak to her and tell her how you feel. If nothing changes cut your losses, why stick around where you don't feel wanted.
I have.
I have done this. She says she really don’t like considering me so much. I feel wanted when it’s just the two of us. We live together. This use to feel like my and her core family. Now it’s like it’s not her core family anymore. I’m trying to be patient and not overreact but I don’t like the way things are going. As if stepping isn’t hard enough. Now I’m excluded and not considered. This is not the way things were in the beginning. I wish we could just get back to that. It was perfect. I’m hurt about it.
She's telling you who she is:
She's telling you who she is: believe her. "I really don't like considering you very much" would be a deal breaker statement for me. Find a woman who wants to be your partner.
Don't spend much longer hoping for the good times to come back. Some women/men lure you in with love-bombing and perfect relationships and once they have you, they show who they really are.
I agree with this. A part of
I agree with this. A part of being in a relationship is taking the other person into consideration. She is essentially doing exactly what you said, using you when its convenient for her. Why would you want to be with someone like that? You're right, stepparenting is hard. It takes a major effort from both partners to make it work. If she isn't willing to treat you as her partner, then you need to cut your loses.
She actually told you she
She actually told you she doesn't like considering you much?! Have I read that right? In what world does someone say that to their partner??
You feel wanted when it's just the 2 of you but as you have the kids 95% of the time that leaves 5% of the relationship feeling wanted. Is that enough?
When you are in a relationship with someone (an intimate one)
You consider that person in your plans- its a juggling act. If you get a new job offer working away, you consider your relationship and your other half etc...
this woman has told you she wants the benefits of you as a partner to live off of and benefit financially without contributing to your quality of life. She is a leech- they are some of the worst to be around and you will resent her real quick
You're setting yourself up
You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery. This woman isn't a good partner; she's a user. Cut your losses and find a woman who wants to consider you.
You need to ask her why. If
You need to ask her why. If the answers are deliberately vague then don’t be her babysitter. Stash some cash for a possible exit, and negotiate some time to go out with friends or a hobby. Whatever you don’t chase her, don’t be a doormat. Occasional flowers etc yes, babysitting doormat no. It may take a few months but she may appreciate you more in the long run.
*sorry2* She’s not into me.
*sorry2* She’s not into me. She invited me out with the family and it felt like I was a stranger. She looked happy with everyone and smiled at everyone except me. She’s not into me anymore.