Changing your name in probate court is easy least (at least here). You can do it yourself. Go down to the probate court (that's where name changes are done here). Ask the court clerk for the forms to change your name. Fill them out. (Clerk here will help if you ask.) Turn them in. Show up in court in the day assigned. Tell the judge why you are changing. Walk out with paper in your new name.

First husband changed his legal name to the name he always used. Colleague reverted to her maiden name. Both did it without a lawyer and said the process was easy. 

Like you, I kept my x husbands last name until I re-married because of the kids.

Once I married my now dh, I RAN to change my name to his. Even though the kids were young.

Yes it was a pain---but----I am not xdh's wife.

I did not bring my maiden name back into my name.

It would be nice to add your maiden name to your new married name. A lot of women did that in the 1980's, 1990's.

Future thoughts. Are you having kids with new DH...you could use your maiden name as their middle name. I see that a lot especially looking back thru historical documents I have.  It was common.  I wish I did that with my kids...bringing more family names into their names.

Babys first name Bananaseedo maiden name(middle name) bio fathers last name.

Let us know what you decide.

I did not change my name. I know it bothers DH, but I’ve always planned to keep my name when I married. I like my name. My first name goes well with my last name. I married DH in my late 30s, so I’ve had my name for a long time.

The nail in the coffin for me, however, is that BM still has DH’s name. She was supposed to change it, it lists her going back to her maiden name in their divorce document, but she never did. She told DH she had to keep it for her career, but it’s a small enough circle that she could easily tell them her new name and they would not be confused. 

She goes by her DH’s last name socially, but they never legally got married (had a ceremony, but didn’t get the license), so I’m sure changing her name legally would be a pain. She would also have to admit that they never got married legally. We know because she told DH, “we’re not legally getting married, so I can stay on your health insurance.” Then I verified it by looking for her marriage license in the vital records. The only one is for her marriage to DH. DH and I got married after she’s got remarried and ours is in the system, so it’s not just a delay. 

Whenever DH has a moment of feeling slighted that I didn’t take his name and tries to tell me that makes him feel like I’m not committed to our marriage, I remind him that BM still uses his last name, so that should be proof that names don’t matter. 

To be using your Ex last name.  You don’t have to used your SO name, but not the EX’s.  Guest point two is in first marriage you made sure to change your name to new DH name.  Now the second marriage you have questions about it ?.??  Is your current SO going to feel you are not ALL IN  in this marriage?

What if you legally changed your name back to your maiden name, but socially used the new hyphenated name? It’d save you the paperwork & the only time FDH would notice you didn’t share his name was when you book airline tickets.

Changing your name is such a pain in the bum!! I totally understand why some women want to keep their maiden names after marriage, and I understand why a lot of divorced women keep their exes name. It’s so much work, and if you’ve got kids it’s just easier to have the same last name.

BM kept DH’s last name & it doesn’t bother me at all. I think it used to, until I went through the process of changing my name after we married. As much as I’m not a fan of BM, I totally get it! Such a pain in the @ss.

Doesn't it seem wrong that we females never have a surname of our "own'? First it's our father's, then it's our husband's, etc. And it seems grossly unfair that we have to jump through so many hoops just to follow this tradition.

I didn't take DH's name until he threw a silent tantrum at the DMV. I'd had to renew my license, and he glanced at the forms, & asked with awful politeness " Is THAT the name you're putting on your license? (my maiden name). Then he spun on his heel and walked away. I caved, and the picture on that license shows how guilted I felt.

I've promised myself that if DH predeceases me, I'm dropping his name. While he's alive I carry his name to honor our commitment, but no way do I want to be known by his batsh!t family name after he's gone. 

I didn't change mine. DH didn't want me to, I think it's a silly custom, my first name sounds awful with his last name, I've been a professional with this name in this town for 25 years, the paperwork is a nightmare and I don't want anyone thinking I'm related to BM or SS.

Women don't have to change their names.  If enough didn't do it, then the custom would change. But I think most women want to change their names to their husband's name because they think they have to or because men will be upset about it.

Im considering changing my maiden name to my husband's name for our one year anniversary. I do want our marraige to work but I have pretty big doubts due to the 1st year of stephell. Would it be best to hyphenate maiden-married. That way I can keep my identity on my credit cards, bank info. Also if I divorce will I be abke to easily switch back. I dont want to switch everything to switch back when skid life chases me out. What advice can anyone offer?

It's pretty easy to change your name in my state when you marry. There is a line on the marraige certificate that you fill out and then you send a copy to the Social Security office. Done. (Well I still had to change my name with all of my accounts/banks, but I was able to do most of that online and that was 10 years ago.)

I liked DH's name better than my maiden name. Also, Succubus never took his name (he didn't want her to take it) so it was finally a "first" for us. 

Change it or don't, that's up to you. But I think the process can be done with minimal "paperwork" these days if that's your biggest hangup.

That’s what I did. I now have two middle names and then DHs last name. 

"I WISH WOMEN NEVER HAD TO CHANGE THEIR NAME."

So agree with you sister! It's pretty ridiculous that it's basically expected and with the rate of divorce in our country you have to turn around and jump through more hoops later.  A friend of mine still in an intact first family never took on her husbands last name. On paper she is Mrs Maiden name but to the world she's Mrs Husbands last name.  It works for her.  Wish I'd thought of that years ago, but no one ever thinks that they'll be getting a divorce.  

I didn't change mine the first time around and I won't this time either. In hindsight, a very lucky thing I did was to give my son my surname as his 2nd middle name. It's made things a lot easier for travel. That's not why I did it. My ex also has his mother's maiden name as a 2nd middle name, so it was kinda to follow that, but it's turned out so nicely, I think everyone should do it. And in other countries - like Spanish speaking countries, they kinda do. 

My ex got all butthurt about the fact I never changed my name from time to time. I finally said to him "If it bothers you so much to have a wife with a different last name to yours, we can certainly fix that..." And he never mentioned it again. 

When my SO proposed, and I said yes, then he said "But you can't change your name..."  1. As if I would... But 2. If I wanted to, I bloody well could. But his name isn't even HIS name. It's one his grandfather picked out of a phonebook in the wake of the Holocaust. That idiot didn't even manage to get one high up the alphabet. :-) 

I'm rubbish with paperwork. There's no way I wanted to deal with a name change. By the time we get married, I'll have had this one for half a century - and it's done me ok. I let my SO book things under his surname just as I let my ex do it. Frankly they both have surnames that are waaaay easier to spell than mine. 

So much easier in Canada. Women assume the last name of their husband and all you need is the marriage certificate because it’s not a legal name change but you can use it as your legal name so  you are able to go back to your maiden name at anytime. I went back to my maiden name as soon as I was separated. 

In my state it is just a form, $25 fee and court approval. You don't actually go to a hearing, you just get the approval in the mail. You have to state why you want the change. I can't imagine that it would be denied for what you want. 

Where I am we have the option of using the married name for pretty much anything, as long as you show proof of marriage... and you can use either your married name or maiden name.

I go by my married name... if i ever divorce or want to use my maiden name, I just have to advise of the decision.