ADHD step son watches me
I have been with my partner for 7 months now and he is such an amazing man, he became a single parent to his 2 children 2 years ago as the mum had an affair and dumped the children on him and hasn’t seen them ever since. He works hard and takes care of the children too.
i knew when I met his 10 year old son that he had issues as he would sometimes talk like a baby, throw tantrums if he wasn’t centre of attention or getting his own way. I have always been good to him and tried to be like a mother figure for him but without over stepping the mark.
he does things that creep me out though and it’s really starting to get to me. When I am round there he is stuck to me like glue! I will be standing ironing for ages and he just stands there staring at me. Whenever me and his dad are in bed and start to get intimate, he quietly opens the bedroom door and peeks through, even when his dad gets up and tells him to get back into bed and stop opening the door he then waits a little and does it again.
When his dad is downstairs and I go into the bedroom to get changed I always shut the door and I then see the handle going down and I say that I am getting changed and will be out shortly. He moves away from the door but doesn’t say anything and shortly after he then starts opening the door again. I have told his dad and his dad tells him that he must always knock on the door but he only does that if his dad is around but once he knows his dad is busy then he just sneakily opens the door trying to see me naked yet again!
my biggest issue is when he was spying on me in the bath!
They have a separate bathroom and toilet. The toilet is next to the bathroom and where some pipe work had been remove from the toilet going into the bathroom there were 2 holes going through the wall that were quite low down near the floor. One day I was in the bathroom about to take a bath and he heard someone sneak into the toilet and not come out, so I put my clothes up against the holes and just started brushing my teeth, I looked down and Dow my clothes moving and saw his finer trying to push them out of the way, I just pretended I didn’t notice and made out I was hot and that I need to cool down before I got into the bath just so that I could get out of the bathroom and get my phone because I wanted to record what was happening because I knew my partner wouldn’t believe me if I told him. When I went back into the bathroom with my phone, my clothes had been moved away from the holes so I put them back and put towels up against them too and got into the bath with my phone rest to record! The clothes started moving but he couldn’t move them with his finger so I heard him leave the toilet and go into his room, he then spoke to his dad who was watching television in our room on the bed with the door open and then the son closed our bedroom door which I knew was sneaky! He then went back into the toilet and clothes started moving again and he was using a pencil this time! I had enough after recording it and just got out and put towel around me and didn’t tell my partner till the next day and my partner said that his son wasn’t spying on me because he was in the bedroom and would have heard it. I told him I had recorded it and we had a bit of a fall out and I stayed at mine a few nights. He said that he told his son that he is never to do it again. Next time I had a bath there I put lots of tissue tightly in the holes before hand and when I was in the bathroom yet again he was in the toilet pushing the tissue out but couldn’t get it fully out. I then went and got my phone and when I came back the tissue had been removed so I didn’t bother having a bath and didn’t bother saying anything else to my partner because I didn’t want another row. A week later I used filler and filled the holes so he can’t watch me in the bath any more but he still keeps opening the bedroom door trying to see me naked or watching us have sex or even just watching me sleep! Is this normal behaviour? Has anyone else been in this situation? Surely it can’t be blamed on adhd as he is very sneaky and knows what he is doing is wrong because I hear him making sure that his dad is busy before he does any of this so that his dad doesn’t catch him
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Comments
I have no experience of this
I have no experience of this kind of thing and therefore have no advice to offer but why haven't you already put a lock on your bedroom door?
IT's also time your bf started enforcing boundaries with his son. Simply telling him to stop opening the bedroom door clearly isn't working. What is he doing about the tantrums and the baby talk?
It isn’t my house and my
It isn’t my house and my partner has put very expensive oak door on every room and I think he doesn’t want to damage the door! I know it’s stupid and I think he should realise that I need privacy when I am there and just put a lock on the door to save any more stress all around. My partner is very defensive over his son and it drives me mad because if it was all because his son has adhd then I could understand but with my experience being around children with that condition, I know that children with adhd do not sneakily do things like that, they would make it extremely obvious that they were doing it end of. So I think there is more to it and just want to know if anyone else has been in a similar situation too
Then tell him that until you
Then tell him that until you can have privacy in his bedroom that you will not be having sex with him.
Ask him to at least put a bolt on the door or change the door handle for one that you can lock (built in lock) without having to do major work on the door.
Of course the kid's behavior
Of course the kid's behavior isn't normal. Hell, his father's reaction isn't normal either.
You know that the kid is a freak, so why do you keep putting yourself out there? Take baths and showers at your house. Refuse to stay over night and have sex in his home until he deals with the issue in an appropriate manner.
You've only been with guy for 7 months. If all else fails, dump him and find another man.
But he's AMAZING! Welp,
But he's AMAZING! Welp, except his creeper kid who tries to peek at her when she's having sex or in the bathroom, and his refusal to address that. Otherwise, just plumb amazing, he is.
Any man who ignored his son's
Any man who ignored his son's creepy/peeping behavior would not be a man who shared my bed.
That isn't ADHD behavior.
That isn't ADHD behavior. There is more to it than just that.
All I can say is invest in locks.
That is just creepy and his
That is just creepy and his son has a 'huge' problem that someone needs to deal with now. Sounds like his father isn't interested in dealing with it.
I'd be putting locks on the doors and not showering or bathing there. 
LOCKS?
LOCKS?
There would be no way that I would allow a 10 year old creeper in my house without addressing his behaviour directly, screw DH. If DH can't handle this, then I would, regardless of my role in the family. This would end, one way or another.
"There would be no way that I
"There would be no way that I would allow a 10 year old creeper in my house without addressing his behaviour directly, screw DH."
BUT, it isn't HER house. The guy isn't her husband and they do not live together.
Okay then... So because she
Okay then... So because she doesn't own the house and only stays there, are you saying that this 10 year old's delinquent behaviour should be acceptable? C'mon. If I was in a bar and someone was bothering me, I have no way to address it because I don't own the bar? I must be revictimized over and over again?
Of course the kid's behavior
Of course the kid's behavior is unacceptable.
If you are in a bar, someone is bothering you, you tell the owner. If he REFUSES TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM, then you should stop going to that bar. What you don't do is continue to put yourself out there to be revictimezed, over and over and over and over again.
Look, this guy has made it crystal clear that he isn't going to correct his creepy kid. Why on earth would she continue to shower and engage in sexual activities in his home? Hell, why would she even WANT to stay with him at all??
Why are you putting up with this
kid is a creeper and your wounderfull, big love ball of a BF is doing nothing. Major RED flag for the future. Time to leave
Another "amazing" man; this
Another "amazing" man; this time one who is allowing his son to get on the fast track to the Sex Offenders Registry.
Is the other child a boy or a
Is the other child a boy or a girl and how old?
OP
Gay PARTNER or business PARTNER?
I’m female my partner is male
I’m female my partner is male. I filled the holes in myself as I wouldn’t bath there till it was done. I refuse to have intercourse if his son opens the door, I actually have put a lock in my bag now and if it happens again then the lock will be put on there by me and I don’t care if I damage the expensive oak door or not. I will be making a stand because I don’t think the behaviour is right and I don’t want the kid causing harm to others as he gets older. He doesn’t do this to anyone else as far as I know
Even with his lack of caring,
Even with his lack of caring, your BF still seems amazing to you?
Why don’t you stay in your
Why don’t you stay in your own place and let your boyfriend get a baby sitter and visit you there alone or take you on dates? Why do you keep going to his house? I don’t get it.