She says her ex is a jerk. He says her priorities are out of whack. I'm seeing both are right about the other LOL...

One of the many, "Of course it's true" statements that nobody likes to think of themselves as being a victim of. Like:

• "People are stupid."
• "I am a person."
• (but I can't bring myself to say I'm stupid).

Thing1 is 15, Thing2 is almost 14.

Thing1 was over Friday morning before running out to catch the school bus, clanking around in the kitchen. DW was so pleased because he was emptying the dishwasher, so she was bragging on him a little. I asked, "Without asking?" She beamed... "Yeah!" Well, shoot, maybe there's hope for him. I went out to the kitchen after Thing1 and Thing2 left and saw that not only had Thing1 NOT emptied the dishwasher, but he had clanked around dishes getting to his sports water jug, then he slopped so much water filling it up and didn't tidy a thing. So I just left it as-is so DW could see. She had to retract her glee, LOL. Maybe one day she'll see what I see.

Thing1 had a baseball game (scrimmage) on Sat. I was able to go watch as well, and after the game, all the players are supposed to recondition the diamond (rake the dirt, tidy the bases, etc). Al the boys were tearing into it. I looked and looked and looked... Thing1 wasn't doing anything as far as I could see, anywhere. DW couldn't see him, either. I was 88% sure he was hiding out but would magically reappear after the work was done. Sure enough, as the rakes were all being put away, here he came from the dugout.

Clearly, like all the times I see him effing off whan he's supposed to be "choring" around the house, he's that way at baseball. DW is setting him up to be this way, and I feel like I'm the only one in the house trying to get him to do his part.

His baseball coach held a meeting w the parents last week, and he related a story about his own boys, who he said were, in HIS estimation, GREAT baseball players. And when THEIR coach wasn't playing one of them, he was a little hurt, but had to think back... evidently as a dad, he saw something his kids' coach didn't see, and these kids' coach didn't see these kids as THAT great of baseball players. Could have been a lot of reasons... were they late? Were they groaning when the coach asked them to do something (were they being "uncoachable")? Were they playing below the needs of the team? Many factors.

I later explained that this is not unlike SParents. To SParents, kids are not perfect little bundles of joy, and we don't ignore the things a fawning bioparent might have always accepted as an endearing trait. DW still demurs when I bring up that point, preferring to think her kids are perfect and I'm overly harsh... but I went on a little bit more and said, "sure... your kids are good kids, but whenever I point out something, it's not that I'm explaining WHY I HATE THEM, because I don't hate them... but you need to see some things they need help on."

I've told her about things, and she says, "That's a passing phase!" Uhh, NO, it's a bad behavior; and it's up to the parents to point it out and ask them to stop. A passing phase is something like his voice cracking or tastes in clothing stepping away fom Garanimals. Bad behavior is when a kid keeps interrupting when the adults are talking (I've told DW about my ex's friend who, as an adult, did that - and it royally pixxed me off, and that's why I wanted SD to stop it ASAFP) or taking stuff without asking (isn't that what leads some to become shoplifters??) or not pulling their share of the chores around the house (not developing a sense of pride in belonging to this home or that baseball team, causing resentment among the rank and file, getting an entitlement mentality, etc), and must be trained out of the child before he can become a good adult.

I swear, next time she gets overly defensive for her kids when I'm trying to point out these things, I'm gonna start barking like a dog.