SS15 NOT A Baseball Phenom
SS turns 15 this weekend. At this level, the kids who can't play have been dropping out and the kids who can are getting better.
SS is good, not great. Loves to play, hates the workouts. I'm 99% sure he wants to play because his mom LOVES the sport and LOVES watching her son play it. Biodad supposedly was really good as a teen, but missed out on a scholarship and is still bitter about that - but he is a Negative Nellie and keeps saying this kid isn't at the level he needs to be to make it to a serious level.
Just my own personal observation (since I've been to practices and games), his throwing is really accurate, but SLOW. Big arc, takes a long time to get to the base he's throwing it to. Other kids on the team, you can hear the ball whooshing through the air when they throw it, and it's got a pretty flat trajectory. I recommended he exercise, lift weights, work out, etc... He prefers to play catch with his buddy, and all they do is just throw the ball back and forth (sometimes batting), eventually devolving into piddle-play like they're just kids - he's not really serious.
He loves to lay in bed and play video games for hours (DW set a limit for electronics, but I guess that this kid's 4+ hours doing this isn't considered electronics time).
He "injured" his back. LOL, I'm 99% sure it's from bad posture from all his video game playing, but was assured it happened last week when he was practicing and now he can't swing his bat without his back hurting. "Mommie, what if I can't play baseball anymorrrre???? Baseball is my LIFE!" Very dramatic about everything.
A couple months ago, he was saying he wanted to take it easy during the off season. I told him, "THERE IS NO OFF-SEASON." Still, he's been taking it easy, and he got weaker. Now he's getting hurt because he's been slouching in front of his video game.
And tonight, he will try out for the high school team, and I am pretty sure he won't do well at all. I'd love to be wrong, but that's my prediction... and he'll be heartbroken if he doesn't make it. But to be honest, all the kids who went with athletics instead of regular Gym Class were playing football and basketball, which he didn't want to do... and they're in GREAT shape. He wanted to focus on baseball, only... and an off-season of rest and relaxation. I gently mentioned a few things to encourage some activity, but DW kept me from pushing it, and now he'll go to the tryouts unprepared.
Guessing he'll blame a poor showing on his "injury," but who knows... maybe all that rest will make him a star player and he'll kill it against the guys who can't try out tonight because they're playing basketball (but they'll try out tomorrow).
Well, I tried, was asked to not say anything, so I stopped. Good luck, kid - you're gonna need it to make up for your atrophy.
Anybody else ever have to deal with all that? Thinking he's going to have a huge dose of reality delivered to him via disappointment, and mama can't just move him to another team with a coach that doesn't yell as much. this is high school ball, and he has to go to that school...
This is a lesson in life that
This is a lesson in life that he will have to learn on his own. Probably not unlike when I made my HS cheer team as a Junior (transferred in sophmore year so no tryouts possible) but then failed to make it for the Fall football tryouts the next year. I hadn't really practiced a whole bunch... so I really threw myself into it for SR year Basketball cheer and DID make it again.
Sometimes kids like the idea of things... but not all the work that will really go into them. They will usually learn at some point that lack of effort nets fewer good results.
I'm not sure about his school and whether his HS team is super competitive. Many times the HS teams will have a place even for the average kids. Sometimes they will even take a kid with a better attitude than one with a poor one. He may have a really good show of that effort at the try outs and the coaches may want him anyway.. or may be familiar with his skills already and forgive an "off" performance.
There are really all sorts of factors... but in the end, he will make it... or he won't and it will be 100% based on him.. skill and effort. Not really much anyone can do to fix it otherwise.. unless mommy will sign him up for a pay for play team.
Many thanks. This team is
Many thanks. This team is competitive. I really think the more competitive kids will play better, though some will be so competitive that they won't be team players, and the coach will want them to learn that as well.
That said, SS is still like a little boy, in that he is pretty self-centered. It annoys me, but he will have to learn to outgrow it. DW doesn't seem to think it's a big deal, so... But this self-centeredness makes me see him as someone who's not ready to be part of a team like they need. He does goofy stuff, like:
Stays up WAY too late playing Fort'Nite and checking the weather hoping it snows so he doesn't have to go to school, then wakes up too tired to function (as I had told him, it had been over 50F the day before and it didn't snow even one flake that night)... then whines that he hasn't got a lunch. He had all frickin night to make himself a lunch, but opted to play video games. So DW rescued poor little boy and made him a lunch. I'd have told him to figure it out himself, but not complain because he owns that all for himself. DW says I'm a hardass... that was Wednesday.
I bought a few small pints of ice cream flavors so each of us could sample all the flavors and decide if a larger one would be good. Poor little boo with his back, DW took him a small bowl of one of the flavors to sample on his deathbed LOL. He liked it well enough and felt good enough to come grab the rest of the pint and eat the whole thing himself without letting anyone else have a taste. I said, "Ah, well... I would have liked to have tried it..." DW looked at me and said, "I'LL BUY YOU ONE!" FFS, it's not buying one... it's respecting everyone else in the house. That was last night.
He uses the last of the TP on the roll and never replaces it. ALWAYS. He clogs the toilet and leaves it clogged. Trash day, he'll do the trash, but only if mommy asks him nicely, and oftentimes she'll help him.
Not a team player, just my opinion. Also, her enabling him and not holding him accountable is only hurting him. I've told her about this and she knows what I'm saying, though she still doesn't parent him. I'm about to disengage again for a while.
It sounds like he needs to
It sounds like he needs to become a better "citizen" for sure. But, he is not unusual for a kid of 15.. I think most are fairly self centered and liable to slack off unless propelled forward. Mom doesn't do him huge favors by propping him up but there are going to be situations where his lack of team playerdness will hurt him and mommy can't help him.
He's at a party at a friend's house and scarfs down all the dip or shrimp etc.. His friends will let him know he is a "selfish pig". That will provide an opportunity for public embarassment which is a stern teacher.
He approaches his sport with lack of effort and enthusiasm? Well hope you like sitting in the bleachers. Mommy can't make coach PICK you.
Teachers and bosses won't let mommy swoop in when he is in college.. or at a job. He will be expected to toe the line and do the work assigned.
It doesn't sound like he is a completely horrible human being and many kids that age can have varying levels of maturity.. hopefully he will continue on and learn.. especially from the mistakes that no one can save him from.
I know how it is to try to tell them how to avoid the pitfalls.. but some things, I guess they just learn on their own.
Agree on all points. Thanks
Agree on all points. Thanks for the reality check!
Kids learn nothing when
Kids learn nothing when parents mitigate life for them.
I hope this is a learning experience for him.
Well said. I agree 100%.
Well said. I agree 100%. Stupidity should be painful. Life's disappointments should be greeted with keen assessment and a plan to regroup and re-engage.
I don't see SS being the
I don't see SS being the problem here unless he makes himself out to be a rockstar player. He may know darn well that he isn't that good, but he still likes to play recreationally. He may be faking the injury so that Mom and Dad don't hold out too much hope that he'll make the team.
This sounds a lot like me in middle school, minus the high-expectation parents. I liked softball. I was fairly good at it. However, I didn't care about the competition. I had fun doing it and it got me some exercise. However, I had no desire to participate in drills, practice, weight lifting, etc. When my options were tryout for a competitive team or not play, I chose to not play.
If he feels the same, but Mom and Dad are pushing him to play, he may be trying to find an excuse to get out of playing, and an injury is a great way to get out of a sport you don't want to play.
Then again, I may be totally wrong. Either way, it will be decided before Monday.
Great thought. I hadn't even
Great thought. I hadn't even thought about that possibility... He HAS to see the SAME thing I see. These other kids throw the ball so much faster than he does. If me and my broken down old eyes and ears can pick up on these things from outside the fence, I know he's feeling the pressure inside the fence... and maybe he knows he simply is being outclassed.
Will say, too... one of his "buddies" from school is a real jerk. I loathe this kid, and so does biodad. This kid is lazy, stupid, a cutup, and is pretty much a non-starter on anything. He'll be a loser his whole life. And DW thinks this kid is awesome, so she keeps encouraging SS to keep a friendship with this dip. I told her I don't want him over because every time he's over, he breaks or spills something (boys, right?), but has NO REMORSE FOR IT. I watched this turd bite into a JellyBelly and when he didn't like the flavor, he just spit it onto the floor. IN MY HOUSE. So he's not welcome over anymore. I think this kid is encouraging SS to be a slacker when they play virtual video games via internet, and I'd bust that up ASAP. But it's not up to me... That kid is such a F'wit that when DW said she saw some kid coming out of a restaurant and just throw some trash in the doorway of the restaurant on his way to their car, she was so mad... and I said, "That is the guy that XYZ (SS's friend) is going to become." She said, "Ohhh, don't say that... I hope not..." I told her that he's SO irresponsible and doesn't give a damn about anything, he will be that kid. I told her his mom is great, but I guess it's his dad who's such a bad influence.
But if this kid is encouraging SS to be a slacker, DW has herself to thank for encouraging that.
He made the team!
So... Tryouts went, he made the team, and DW was more excited than I've ever seen her about anything. Ever. About anything.
Of course, he's elated, but nervous. I anticipate a celebratory atmosphere for a while...
Let's see how this goes.
He's already getting cocky.