I wouldn't remind my DH unless I wanted to have a more active SKID presence in my home.  It is a 2 way street.. she could have called.. he could have called (and did).  You don't need to be the one to remind him.. it's his daughter.. it'snot like he forgets he has one.

I really feel for both you and your partner, I have disengaged from the adult skids but also have a bioD who doesn’t want any contact with us. She has been like this for a number of years and whilst I don’t call or text I never fail to send a card or gift for significant events and holidays. Unlike others here, I remind my DH to get gifts for kids, encourage him to keep contact when his kids are being ridiculous (always!). I like to keep the moral high ground, we have done nothing wrong to any of our adult kids and if they choose to behave like brats so be it but they will never be able to say but you didn’t ....call...text....send a gift....care about me because we have always done the socially acceptable thing. 

This is possibly due to my daughters father never making the effort and the hurt I saw her go through at birthday or Christmas time but I also feel like it is the right thing to do. 

Disengaging, for me, doesn’t mean rudeness but self protection so if asking if my DH has sent a text and him spending 20 seconds to do so makes your lives happier, do it.

PS I hate the holiday period because of this stress and from now on we are going on holiday and avoiding everyone

From SD's when they feel excluded, or if DH has put them in their place. They retaliate by giving the silent treatment, or going cold, or ghosting him, whatever you want to call it. It's SD's way of making DH "pay" or feel guilty.

You're on the right track.

I used to remind my DH of everyone's BD, Anniversaries etc. I no longer do that, nor do I shop for everyone any longer. Wasted time and energy I can never retrieve. I've adopted this quote from another poster:"Not my circus, not my monkeys" and have seen tshirts with that quote!

Keep up the good work! Your future self will thank you for it.

Leave your DH to it. He’s a big boy, if he can’t remember to call her on holidays (although you said he did call, so...?) that’s on him. My dad didn’t call me on Thanksgiving and I’m not over here moping about it. 

"Continue to be disengaged and let DH see SD22 and her actions (or lack thereof) for what they really are?" 

I would continue to be disengaged and not remind a grown man of making calls, texts, gifts, etc. He forgot so its on him. He wants to mope around that's on him too but don't put that burden on yourself. Also, his daughter could have called also, its a two way street.

Don't get involved in their relationship and let it be.

From my looooong 6 years in stepland I've learned not to rescue or remind DH about anything concerning skids or gskids.  He would love for me to take over his relationship responsibilities but the minute I've dared step in the arena I became public enemy #1 and they've all bonded about how horrible I am.  So now I just sit back and let DH do it all, or not, either way it's on him. When he's cranky because he never sees skids or get invited to things I just listen, give him a hug and let him know I'm here for him.  

I'm on the fence on this one.  My mind says nope. Do not remind DH.  On the other hand you are the one that has to live with the moping husband and are the one that cares about him.

I remind my bride to call her family.  She usually does not. So if we are driving somewhere that is when I just dial someone in my IL clan and tell her to talk to her mom, bros, sister, aunt, cousin, etc......  I am a connector.  That is what I do. So I connect her with her family when I perceive that it needs to happen.

I might be old, but in my family once kids left home, they were responsible for calling the parents. It was a sign of respect. I can't think of a single time my Mom called me, unless she needed something specific. But I called her frequently and we had a good relationship.

I know things are different now with social media and cell phones, etc. My relationship with me own kids is much different and we all initiate calls. Still, these things go both ways and your SD is just as responsible for the relationship as your DH. 

My DH also mopes. Know what I do? Find something I want to do. Get a mani. Take a walk. Make cookies. Clean out my closet. I do NOT join him in his moping. I might acknowledge it, but I refuse to go down that rabbit hole with him. "Honey, I can see that you're sad. I'm here if you want to talk about it, but if you don't I'll leave you to it. I'm going to go run a few errands." I have learned to take care of myself. His moods are not my responsibility.

No, your DH needs to deal with it.  He'll get glad again.  

I have a small dayplanner, open and available in plain sight.  I post absolutely everything in it for the entire year.  DH reads it every morning; he still never remembers, or should I say act on the occasion.   

Not my deal.

Just recently, for the first time I let the SGkids birthdays slip by without reminders. I figure they post on FB anyway so he will see it then.  I don't follow them - I just know the dates.  I am getting better at my disengagment and feeling comfortable about it.  I didn't send any texts or acknoweledge the birthdays.  In fact I just recently said to my DH I am in the position where if I try then I am pushing too hard for a relationship, if I don't try then I don't care (advice from someone on ST I can't remember who) and he acknowledged what I said was true and he understood.  Xmas cards will be signed with just "Merry Christmas" nothing more from me.  I don't even get a thank you for birthdays or holidays so I quit.  I actually have started walking out of the room when they call - which has been rarely.  I have also noticed that he is starting to see they only contact him when they want something - he has accepted that and I don't say a word.  I focus on us and our marriage.  Like others have said "not my monkeys -  not my circus".  We just recently received pictures in the mail of two of the SGkids - in the past I would have sent a text or messaged on FB saying Thank you.  This year - I haven't said Sh*T and I won't.  They will receive the same treatment they have given me.  This past Thanksgiving was the first one I did not ask him if he called the SKids.

I believe I went off on a tangent here so my answer is NO do not remind.

... it is too easy to get sucked back in when you begin engaging with reminders.  Adults can and should manage dates, especially their own dear children’s birthdays and the holidays.  Sorry your DH gets down but that’s what the SD wants most likely.  It is a rough situation but hopefully he will see the manipulation at some point and decide to ignore it.  Happy Holidays and all the best.