You're about to be a mom, and the feeling of tiredness will only get worse. However, your husband should be helping you out more. If he says he's going to to the dishes, hold him to it. When your baby is here, there will be bottles, pumping parts, pacis and so many extra dishes. Get him in the habit of that being his job now; it'll help so much when the baby is here. Talk to your husband and figure out these things now. Then, leave it up to him to worry about all things SD. You're going to feel so much resentment if you worry about her and waste time or sour the time you have with your firstborn. BTDT. Who cares if SD is the one doing the trash, dishwasher, and dishes as long as you aren't?

So stop being the maid! All the things that she's not doing leave it for your H to do. After a while of this nonsense hopefully your H will get tired of taking on more and will make his daughter be responsible for her chores. You have a baby on the way trust me you will not have time to be micromanaging this lazy child. She has to do her part as a family member who eats, sleeps, and lives there. Make him hold her accountable.

What you accept, will continue.

Hon, you've been complaining about this for years. You complain, then cave, complain, cave. Until you change your own behavior, nothing else is going to change.

5 weeks of non stop colicky newborn, requesting i carry her 24/7, no breakfast or lunch and barely anytime for dinner let alone manage laundry with the constant water supply issues then, i cracked eventually.

i broke down in tears after 2 days of getting a total of 2 hours sleep (not deep sleep but more light resting), i just couldn’t do it anymore barely hving time to care for myself but ss aged 17 decided to dump all his dirty dishes and cups in the sink where ants would come and when he ran out of all the clean dishes from the dish rack, you’d think he’d get the idea wash your bloody dishes but nope, he went and got clean ones from the kitchen cabinet

so i broke down in tears just before hubby went to work because i hadn’t wanted to talk to him for 2 days and he got aggro and said “do you think i go to work for fun”, he thought i was sulking not leaving the house during confinement period like i was inadequate but i told hubby i didn’t give a atuff about that.

I told him how dare you raise a child that treats me like his maid, is a lazy useless little shit that he dumps all his dirty dishes in the sink and not clean in from the 6-7 daily eating sessions. Meanwhile, me the new mother who just gave birth 5 weeks ago has not managed breakfast, lunch, to breastfeed our newborn daugter, yet you get home from work and you tell your son to get dinner first when he’s done nothing but sleep and play computer games in his room. I should not be expected to leave our daughter crying to clean his mess. Hubby apologised and told his son you clean your dishes from now, its not my job to clean up for him. Know what little prick said? “I didn’t know i had to clean my dirty dishes?”

he loves dumping trash on kitchen floor, with skewer stick poking out. I have a 3 yr old and 17 month old kids. My dad has suggested when he does that, that i put that trash in a bucket in front of his bedroom door. If he dumps it back on kitchen floor then i put it back in front of his bedroom door and message hubby at work with a pic saying “DEAL WITH THIS USELESS IDIOT!””

i’ve never done that but i have messaged hubby when he leaves a mess or his wet dishes on my stainless steel appliances like a dish rack and hubby gets told off my appliances i bought from overseas are rusting because your incompetent kid is so dumb he puts it there to dry when there are dish racks to hang it. Hubby will message him what he’s done wrong and to rectify immediately but as usual, idiot ss has excuses for everything. He’s so self centred and cares only for himself, not his dad who works his arse off everyday to provide a stable life for us all....

please address this with hubby and set basic expectations that must be met and be firm. From now onwards what is hubby and stepkid meant to do everyday in chores? Whatever stepkid is tasked with and isn’t done, message hubby at work and reiterate “you said this would be done, it hasn’t!! Your child has 10 mins to do this or i’m confiscating electronics for example”

every few months i still have the big fight with hubby, things have gotten better a bit but something still blows up and never changes and its always to do with the stepkids.

i ignore ss now and act like he doesn’t exist at home. When his dad made him apologise to me for not acknowledging me or our kids and ignoring us the 4 yrs we’ve been married is totally unacceptable behaviour to us that we do not deserve and he should apologise because this stresses hubby everyday , ss couldn’t give a shit. Claimed apologising to me was stressing him out like he was having a panic attack. His dad told him i don’t care you get out of your room and you apologise now. Know what he did? He came out as both bubs were crying for their bottle and mumbled something that took me a while to understand and i had to ask What?, then he said “dad told me to apologise”. The whole time he was smiling and had a smirk as he made the apology (yeah real genuine)

yeah hubby got a nasty message from me saying “seriously, your own kid can’t even make the effort to talk clearly and make a decent apology for appalling behaviour and says daddy told me to apologise while smiling the whole time??”, hubby told him off why did you say i told you to apologise. I walked off when he did that and he just stood dumbfounded. Ss said he was stressed out and couldn’t do more. He didn’t give a shit that hubby has been constantly stressed dealing with his bullshit and only cares about himself so I completely disengage and ignore him, he’s not a part of my life and i refuse to go on holidays with him because he spoils the mood by being an unwanted presence who doesn’t want to interact with anyone, just ignores us. Hubby was dumb enough to suggest a holiday with him for our 4th wedding anniversary, no thanks!!

i really feel for you, set your expectations now and if stepkid doesn’t do it, hubby does it, no buts. It may take a while but zone out from the chores that need to be done, 1 shit day at work and hubby coming home to a mess where stepkid clearly never gave a stuff and hubby is bound to lose it with stepkid and enforce chores. It took about a year for it to happen. Ss thought dad didn’t mean it but when hubby followed through making sure ss did the chores as requested, the evil me inside was so happy that for once in his life, he understood how shit it os to do chores and that it does take alot to do it so have some respect and not be a lazy shit... of course he goes back to usual old self till hubby enforces rules again, its a slow process to success