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Giirl's picture

Submitted by Giirl on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 12:00pm

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Blended Family Issues

My boyfriend and I went on a trip to San Fran recently and I just found out while we were there he asked Bio mom if she wanted anything from the restaurant we went to because it’s an old fave of theirs. He told her sweet dreams and that it’s a surprise what he got. He told me it was for his daughter. Then he bought some granola bars she LOVES and told me they were for him. Should I get out now? We’ve been together 6 mo ths.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 12:26pm

I would.  He flat out lied to you.  If there's no trust in a relationship, what's the point?  And that doesn't even get into the issues there might be related to his ongoing relationship with the ex.

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 12:40pm

You must have really poor self esteem to ask an online community what you should do, when its obvious he is not ready to have a realtionship with you.  

Kick him to the curb and get into therapy.  

Areyou's picture

Submitted by Areyou on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 12:42pm

WTF. Leave him. In fact, block him and never speak to him again. Don’t give him an explanation because he will gaslight you and say you’re jealous. 

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 12:47pm

He had secret communication with his ex because he remembered something personal and special about her and lied about the purchases he made for her all while supposedly on a romantic trip with you.  So while he was with you, he was thinking about her.  You know the answer here.  It stinks but you know what to do.  There is a silver lining though.  You know NOW that he is capable of having a secret double life and leading you on with a perfectly innocent face.  Not after you have gotten married or had a child with him.  You may feel badly now but in a few weeks you will see that he actually gave you a major gift by sneaking around behind your back in a way that allowed you to catch him.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 12:49pm

He was buying BM gifts when he was on a trip with you, and lying to you about it? Nope. How can you even trust him? How did you find out the granola bars and food was for her? I feel like in a relationship, there are some things you can cut some slack on. People mess up. But this isn't one of them. This was him thinking of her repeatedly while with you, buying her gifts, and lying. All bad things that don't bode well.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 1:05pm

He told his EX wife "sweet dreams"?? Huge red flag. HUGE.

  • He is still emotionally enmeshed with her.
  • He buys her surprises.
  • He is LYING to you.

Get out now.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 08/09/2018 - 5:12pm

This guy is still carrying a torch for his X.  Get out now.  No thought, just leave... or better yet... call the locksmith to rekey the locks and tell this asshole to head back to his X.