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Where to start?

bcav's picture

Where to even begin? On Friday it was my husbands weekend with the kiddos. Husband had gotten a call from school on Wednesday saying SS11 had been suspended from school for uttering threats to other children. SS11 phoned that day and proceeded to talk about getting ready for his camp this upcoming weekend (he’s in scouts) husband informed him he would not be attending because he had gotten suspended...... makes sense right? Well no bm decided on this weekend it was SS11’s choice as to where he chooses to reside. She sent him to camp....... and my poor husband has no legal rights here according to his lawyer because SS11 is at an age where he can choose. What would you do? As a mom, dad, or step parent? I often see that the system is so skewed to the rights of the mother than the father. 

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

If it is his court ordered time then he has rights. Even at an age where kids can 'choose' that only means during court proceesings, they would have a voice. It doesn't mean they can trump a CO. 

Your DH should file for contempt. Ask for the time to be made up AND call into question BMs parenting. If skid is getting it trouble at school courts will not take kindly to that. Nor will they believe skid is mature enough to decide custodyb arrangements. 

You may just get more than you think by going back to court. Don't let BM set this precidence now. Or you open the door for a lot more. 

bcav's picture

Well you see the problem is the court order is somewhat confusing as he is a shift worker. But yes there is a court order in place. This poor kiddo has had so many issues as of late with school. We have gotten him into counselling but she refuses to take him to pthe one we chose because she thinks it is the counsellor we attend. He has brought it up with us that she has told him and I quote “as long as you are MY kid you won’t be going to counselling”. We have told him on numerous occasions if it’s the counsellor he doesn’t like we can find a new one.  It’s just so disheartening to see this happening and to feel I personally can’t help.  

bcav's picture

Oh I should probably also mention the time he started getting into trouble at school we immediately put him into counselling. She immediately took him into their doctor and had him prescribed meds for ADHD and has blamed this incident at school with him forgetting to take his meds. Did I mention he’s 11!? Should she not be administering them?

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

You should file to modify custody before it is too late. This kid is already realizing that he has zero rules and consequences at BMs.

Get custodial and give BM visitation and cite all the school issues, meds, etc. Also refusal to follow current order.  Try without a lawyer first, just make sure you get documentation of everything. If it works great if not reassess the expense for a lawyer. 

 

It will only get worse as time goes on. 

bcav's picture

I wish! This system is so skewed. When he went to court the first time the judge actually said you shouldn’t use extra curriculars as punishments. We no longer are aloud to punish children for poor behaviour.