Would you be comfortable?
Would you be comfortable with the NCP picking up the child for visitation from the home without the CP present?
So if child comes home from school on the bus but the CP isn't home yet (at work) but NCP wants to pick up child earlier then previously scheduled time (after CP was home).
Is there an age where you think that the child can handle it (bag packed appropriately, doors locked, NCP didn't come in the house, etc. )?
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I don't see why not..
If the parental relationship is decent, CP can even ask NCP to remind the child to lock doors, make sure he/she has a packed bag, homework, etc when NCP pulls up (but does not go in the home, of course).
My DH frequently picks up SS8
My DH frequently picks up SS8 from his house when his mom is still at work but her bf is there watching the kid. So it's a bit different but I would say depends on the child. If Child is old enough that she's letting child home alone in the first place - that says something.
I agree with others. If the
I agree with others. If the child is old enough to be home by themselves, I don't see why the NCP can't pick them up without the CP there.
I think it would depend on
I think it would depend on the relationship between CP and NCP. In my SO's case, he and the ex are friendly and she often comes into the house when she picks up the kids (although they usually exchange through the babysitter at her house). He would have no problem with her coming in even if he wasn't there, though. In a situation where the CP and NCP don't get along at all or have reason not to trust each other, I wouldn't want that. No matter how old the child is, you never know if the child will allow a parent to manipulate him/her and do something the other parent wouldn't want.
If the child can be left at
If the child can be left at home alone then there should be no problem with the NCP picking up that child. (And not entering the home, as stated above.)
The issue for me wouldn't be
The issue for me wouldn't be the child as much because as many people stated, if you are allowing a child to be home alone.. that fact alone means that they should be capable of being responsible regarding locking up and taking their stuff with them.
My issue would be whether the NCP Ex would honor the boundaries of not coming in.. or not coming past the entry way (if they needed to help the kid grab stuff etc..). or whatever boundary the CP wanted with regards to their home.. But, if you are already letting the kid be at home alone (or with an older babysitter or sibling/step sibling) then the in charge person should be able to be responsible.
Thank you for being so
Thank you for being so eloquent and putting into words what I was thinking!!!
That was exactly my point
That was exactly my point with respect to the NCP being able to manipulate the child regardless of age. Some parents use their children for their own ends, and encourage the child to keep secrets from the other parent (like entering the house against the wishes of the other parent). If you have one of those as your NCP, then no matter how old the child is, or how trustworthy in other situations, I think you need to be cautious.
Did your ex get a driver's
Did your ex get a driver's licence?
I would be able to let my bs do this if needed but his bag is packed and ready to go the night before.
This is a good bit of advice.
This is a good bit of advice. The child may be old enough to be home for a short amount of time...but may not be up to ensuring that their bags are all packed appropriately.. for that in between time, if the CP packs the weekend bag and puts it by the front door then all the skid has to do is grab it so the worry of things being forgotten is reduced (also you know what they are taking over to the black hole of the other house..lol).
Ha Ha no not yet but possibly
Ha Ha no not yet but possibly soon??? It seemed like it was going in that direction (for the first time in 6 years) but now not so sure.
Bags aren't packed because it's a last minute thing. I think that is why I am hesitant.
I see no problem with it
I see no problem with it provided that the NCP is a responsible person and the CP trusts the NCP to be where she/he says she/he will be when she/he says she/he will be there.
What everyone else said. As
What everyone else said. As long as ex isn’t going to come in and snoop and kid is responsible enough to lock up and whatnot. There’s a lot of factors here.
I think for me it would
I think for me it would depend on what kind of a relationship you have with the NCP... Fur us, I know for a fact I can't trust BM, and therefore I can't trust her to stay out of the house, and I know she has sticky fingers, so it would be an absolute NO GO...
If you have a good realtionship with the NCP though, you may be able to trust it.