has anyone else felt this way
Have any of u had the TALK with ur bf or hubby about his ex?? I have been told by him he was never in love with her....he tells me this and maintains his innocence...they have a 9yr old together had been married for 10 yrs reason they married cause he got her pregnant...I have to say when I look at my bf and I look at her it makes me sick...she is absolutely repulsive....he had no kids before no reason to get stuck with that thing....I ask myself why did he find her attractive...HOW...I try to believe him I do...but it is extremely hard when he has a tattoo of her initials in giant letters on his arm...he covered it a couple months ago...my question to all of u is this....I feel in my heart he is lying to me...if u just didn't love someone how could u get a tatoo on ur arm...I asked him he said he was drunk all the time (he doesn't drink anymore) and that's his excuse for everything....this tattoo bothers me everyday even tho it is covered I feel he still did it for love and is lying to me for whatever reason he is a great guy but I need to get over this or something...
Comments
If you love him, then get
If you love him, then get over it. You shouldn't let it bother you even if he did love her. The point is that they are no longer together. But if you can't handle thinking about the fact that he was with this person before you, good luck on the S-kid front. They are a constant living breathing reminder of his ex. lol
You are totally right...I
You are totally right...I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does...I want to get over it my point is don't lie about it...and yes she is an ever constant reminder of her mother....lol just was wondering why I am so bothered by it...I do think its one of the reasons I don't want sd around...well that and the fact she makes everyone miserable....I didn't feel this way as bad before she did that stuff either...lol
Omg....thank u soo much for
Omg....thank u soo much for understanding...sounds like the exact story mine gave me...I knew him for 10yrs before...everything u said mirrors our situation.....same thing....I was hoping I wasn't alone the first girl kinda blasted me made me feel bad...I was just wanting someone to get what I was saying...I love him so much too but its like how could u get a boner for that fat ugly drug addict abusive beotch...and a fing tattoo...come on!!! Girl thank u so much for making me feel like someone else gets it...sometimes I look at him and think....WHY I just wanna know...are u guys married??
I think it is not whether he
I think it is not whether he loved his ex, but that he is LYING ABOUT IT.
My DH pulled that crap too. He didn't love BM, he only married her "just cause", he didn't want to have a baby, yet they actively tried for four months for DSD...
I told him not to disrespect me like that or to disrespect DSD like that. I loved my ex, whom I was with for seven years, and we just faded and grew apart. It happens. Do not lie to me like I am a moron; it makes me think you will lie to me about ANYTHING.
If he has his tattoo of her initials and married her and made a baby with her - yes, he loved her and was attracted to her. Sure, it's gross, but its better than the POS he is painting himself to be, isn't it? I told my DH if he really actively tried to have a baby with someone he could not stand and stayed there for two years, there must be something wrong with him.
He also tried to bad mouth BM to me, and while stuff was true, I told him you married her, you slept with her, you chose HER to have your first child, so I do not want to hear a single ugly word about her, especially if it sounds like you are doing it to suck up to me like "aw baby she ugly I never wanted that".. Uh huh.. Why say that, why say anything? EVERYONE has ex's, some attractive, some not attractive, who cares!? So long as it is in the past and no feelings now, right?
As for the tattoo- I can get why that bothers you if you feel like its a big lie. If it is what it is "Yea, I thought I loved her, I did for a while, it fell apart, got the tattoo, but got it covered up" OKAY! But if he LIES about it - there is a reason (In my mind) why you'd be lying to me.
Ur right anonymous...that is
Ur right anonymous...that is what bothers me I know its a lie or I feel like it is...u just can't be that drunk for that fn long haha...honest I think would b the best for him I know he don't wanna hurt me but I just want past to b past....u made me feel better tho thank u
Try to let this go or find a
Try to let this go or find a new man.
OF COURSE he loved her.
He made a family with her.
He was married to her for TEN years.
He tattooed her initials on his body.
YES, HE LOVED HER.
Of course, in hindsight, maybe he doesn't want to admit that he loved her...even to himself? Maybe he's afraid to admit it to you because he knows you'll sit and stew on it indefinitely?
Have you EVER done something that you regret? If so, use that to help you here. He made a choice, and now he has to live with it. Maybe he wouldn't do it the exact same way again. But nothing will EVER change the past. You can choose to let it control your present and future, or you can stick it where it belongs...a part of history.
Maybe he loved her, maybe he
Maybe he loved her, maybe he didnt. And if he did, so what? People fall in and out of love, otherwise we wouldnt be with men with kids, right? I loved my first husband, but that doesn't mean I am in love with him now. Things change, people change. Its a fact of life.
I love my DH, and he loves me. I would hope he loved his ex-wife at some point, because he married her. I'd hate to think the would want to commit to someone he didn't love. So it didn't last and didnt work out, that happens. No reason for me to think he doesn't love me now. We both believe we are in this until the end, until we die, but do we really truly know 100% we will make it? We would like to think we do, but life has a way of changing things.
DH admits that he used to be
DH admits that he used to be attracted to BM when they were much much younger. Like early high school days. And that he loved her, but as soon as he grew up, and she didn't he fell out of love with her.
I can't even IMAGINE being in love with my ex. The thought of it makes me physically cringe. And I get along with him just fine now, just the physical aspect of it.... YUCK. But I did love him. For a very short period of time. It was there. I try not to dwell on those things. That is the past... this is the NOW, DH is my future and I am his.
He needs to just admit that
He needs to just admit that he loved her once and now he doesn't and the two of you move on. Drunk or not, you don't have someone's initials tattooed on your body if you don't feel something for them.
Maybe, like newwife3 proposed, he just has no memory of those feelings for her. That's not a bad thing.
U guys are right...thank u
U guys are right...thank u all for ur opinions....everything u all said are good points...I just wanted anyones opinion these are things I can't talk to anyone else about and it really gives me insight...and makes me feel better I'm not the only one to have felt that way....I know we all made mistakes in love...I have too...I'd b totally fine if it wasn't for the tat...but what one of u said who had one helped too...I do feel better...have a good night girls....
God 671...thx for all ur
God 671...thx for all ur comments...I do wish u the best as well...I feel exactly the same way u do...good luck with ur bf....it did make me feel better about mine....he is with me now and I wouldn't change anything....