The frustration continues!! My husband and I have been seperated for over a year, partically because, I could no longer be the victim of being emotionally abused, and one time, physically abused by my stepdaughter. I'm completely at a loss for how to handle this situation. She has been the puppet master for many years, over her father, grandparents, myself and my son, along with her biological siblings, all have taken a backseat to her wants and demands. My husband is unable and unwilling to stand up for me and our marriage against her because of the "drama" it creates and has made the statement many times about being stuck in the middle. There should be no middle. When you have children and remarry, your marriage should come first. All the children involved from either parent, must be taught to respect the all of the other people involved and respect the marriage. How will they ever learn how a good relationship should function if they are allowed and given control over the adults. My husband and I live in different cities, but are eventually, trying to reconcile. We have planned a vacation together, and I inquired if his daughter was upset that we were going. (Please keep in mind, she is now 18 and in college.) He stated, he had not told her. I told him that I did not understand, because we had agreed that I would not be his "secret". Because, we have meet various times trying to discuss things and he would never tell her where he was, due to the drama it creates. That drives me insane!!!!! Who is the adult and who is the child?!!? I understand not wanying to deal with the tantrum, would be much easier, but I'm tired of being the "secret" because I'm the WIFE. This hurts my feelings very much. I do not want to create chaos, but why are her feelings more valuable than mine? Why can he not deal with his daughter??? Am I completely missing the big picture???????