Can't tell Dh cos I am sooo tired of repeating myself
Here goes nothing....
This is my daily life:
As long as I am taking care of their physical needs that is fine; do not do any other parenting!
Do not attempt to expect anything else in return.
Ensure you cook ONLY food they eat without complaining.
Wash; Iron and putaway their clothing.. But have no input in what they wear; just clean up whatever is left on the floor.
Clean up behind them; but do not expect them to do respectful to you
Expect them to answer you back and don't address it with them.
Allow them to ignore any request you make
Allow SD to throw a fit everytime you are brushing her hair; putting in a ponytail; straightening it; or whatever it is she decideds she doesn't want you to do!
Do not have a say about the fact that they climb all over the furniture; scrape cars along the laminate repeatedly; constantly lie ont top of the cat or pull his tail; leg or whatever they decided to do today
Do not question ANYTHING about their behaviour.
Ignore the constant argumentative confrontation when either are faced with something THEY don't want to do.
Shutup whenever they inform you that they're allowed to from "dad" "gran"; "Grandad" or anyone else they feels has more authority than you do...
I think the above reads for an advertisement for a paid nanny...
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I will never be able to
I will never be able to figure this guilty daddy shit out. I can 100% honestly say that if DH and I were divorced and BS2.5 and I lived with a new BF/DF/DH I would EXPECT that new BF/DF/DH would keep BS in check, right along side me. I would EXPECT that we would be PARTNERS in the care and raising of BS in OUR household....
I just don't get it at all.....
Dup...
Dup...
As long as I am taking care
As long as I am taking care of their physical needs that is fine; do not do any other parenting! STOP TAKING CARE THEIR NEEDS. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS.
Do not attempt to expect anything else in return. AGREED.
Ensure you cook ONLY food they eat without complaining. STOP THIS. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS.
Wash; Iron and putaway their clothing.. But have no input in what they wear; just clean up whatever is left on the floor. STOP THIS. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS.
Clean up behind them; but do not expect them to do respectful to you. STOP THIS. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS.
Expect them to answer you back and don't address it with them. DON’T TALK TO THEM. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS.
Allow them to ignore any request you make. MAKE REQUEST TO DAD.
Allow SD to throw a fit everytime you are brushing her hair; putting in a ponytail; straightening it; or whatever it is she decideds she doesn't want you to do! STOP THIS. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS.
Do not have a say about the fact that they climb all over the furniture; scrape cars along the laminate repeatedly; constantly lie ont top of the cat or pull his tail; leg or whatever they decided to do today. LIKE HELL. THIS IS YOUR HOUSE, YOU CAN DEMAND RESPECT.
Do not question ANYTHING about their behaviour. AGREED.
Ignore the constant argumentative confrontation when either are faced with something THEY don't want to do. LET DAD ADDRESS THESE ISSUES.
Shutup whenever they inform you that they're allowed to from "dad" "gran"; "Grandad" or anyone else they feels has more authority than you do...DON”T TALK TO THEM.
Why are you LETTING yourself live like this? DISENGAGE ASAP!
Cheers Willow... Been slowly
Cheers Willow...
Been slowly coming to the same conclusion myself the past few weeks: disengagement started, not easy because they are below the age of 7... and with us full time and I refuse to be locked in my bedroom indefinitely.
However; cooking and cleaning stopped... Lounge looks like warzone but I am just ignoring. I will continue washing (only for the sake of my brand new washing machine). But ironing lady quit today!
DH threw a fit cos I refused to do SD's hair; full blown argument ensued... I'm tired beyond belief.
Hmmm…that’s a little
Hmmm…that’s a little different. Are you a SAHM?
Hey Willow... Nope we both
Hey Willow... Nope we both work 40 hours and attempt to raise two kids...
Just feel like my opinion counts for jack sh1te; these are pampered coddle kids..
Pampered by g/parents who cave and give in and molly coddle and overrule at every turn.
Pampered by BM (who is incapable of looking after them) SD rules her roost. Anytime we get them back from the few HOURS they have spent at BM she is little miss wife and I'm seeing the years down the line here...
DH - well off and on with the discipline... He says he feels like I'm to disciplinary... my feeling is discipline needs to be consistent... Doesn't matter if that is every 2 minutes the discipline should be consistent... The expected behaviour should not be modified to suit whatever day of the week it is or whatever side of the bed SD/SS got out of that morning...
Thank goodness you are not a
Thank goodness you are not a SAHM Corn. It will make it easier to disengage.
Tell DH that since he does not like the way you parent, then he is responsible for all parenting of his kids. Tell him you tried, but since he does not back you, that you need to step out of the parenting for your sanity and marriage. Then do it. Let him do for HIS kids. Let him clean, cook, wash, and do hair for the little buggers.
I bet that within two weeks, you are less stressed and he will see how much you USED to do. lol
Thanks for the support
Thanks for the support Willow
Tonight is "lets talk" night; and I am going to take your advice into the conversation. I'm going to tell him for OUR sake I am going to step out of the parenting. OUR relationship is more important to me than feeling like I'm constantly flawted at every turn. And that all the parenting tasks will fall to him (with the concession of washing clothes; yep I am being selfish about my washing machine)!!!
Will keep you updated; appreciate your input.