So many people have shared their stories I feel compelled to share my own.

I grew up bouncing between homes until I was in my late teens. Early childhood with mom, early adolescent with dad, then late teens with mom and stepdad. I always seemed to get along with my step dad and his son and for the most part I was a good kid (I imagine he would say differently but who knows) and these days we are extremely close.

So fast forward to this year, prior to meeting SO I was pretty sure I didn't want a kid. I had a few really bad years of dating and didn't meet anyone I could consider procreating with. Additionally I had very specific rules about dating people with children. It wasn't anything I was ever going to be interested in. Then I met SO and my brain deferred to my heart so here I am.

SO has four children. He was married to BM (who we call warthog) for 12 years and with her for 15. She was a licensed mental health practioner for the past ten or so and apparently did quite well for herself. She was always a drinker, but in the past 5 years or so her drinking got out of control. It started out that she would work late hours Monday through Thursday and then would drink Friday to Sunday. Fine, as long as she wasn't going to work drunk, right....I mean it wasn't like she had four kids at home to take care of.

According to SO (and her brother, my coworker) things just went from bad to worse. First she would get drunk and wet the bed, the car seat, wherever she happened to be when she passed out. Then, as her drinking got worse, she started engaging in very risky sexual behaviors. She would masturbate in front of windows when she was drunk, she would pass out on the living room floor half naked and would get physically violent with SO and the kids. Over time her drinking got so bad that she ended up working and seeing patients while she was drunk. Her patients would say that you never knew which BM you were getting the nice one or the crazy one. She has been to treatment three times now (she is currently in a treatment program that is not voluntary).

After SS4 was born, SO was planning to leave her but didn't want to leave the kids. He has a minor felony conviction from when he was 19 so he was afraid that he wouldn't get custody or get to see the kids. She was a professional and had a great deal of experience with manipulation so he stayed out of fear, both for their relationship and their safety. When SD2 was born things went off the rails.

She was reported for drinking while seeing clients and her license to practice was suspended. She entered into a stipulation which caused her to go to treatment the first time. It didn't take. Her license was then revoked for practicing without a license. She has had three separate mental health holds and was finally committed this past month. In June of last year he filed but allowed her to stay in the home to take care of the kids during the day. This was after she completed treatment and swore she was sober. Then she started drinking again (it turns out she never stopped) and he would find her passed out when he came home at lunch with SS4 (who was 2.5 then) and SD2 (6 mos.) totally unattended.

The final straw came when she started bringing guys home that she met at the bar while SO and the kids were asleep upstairs. They lived in a 6,000 sq foot home so he only found out when she showed him pictures of her new "man" on her cell phone and he recognized them as being taken in his home. He kicked her out and she moved in with the new bf and her reign as queen of crazy town continued. She and her bf broke into the house (even though a CO said she wasn't allowed to be there) and stole nearly $5k worth of items which she then lost when new bf kicked her ass out for being a lunatic.

She then moved in with new bf's stepdad and started a relationship with him. He lives in a rental property that is owned by her parents who are "slumlords" basically. While living with both the old and new bf's she continued to email and text SO asking to get back together. At first he would tell her that she was insane but then it got to a point where disengaging was the only option. He blocked her from calling or texting and the only communication they had was through email.

We met in May when I started this job and were set up by her brother. Neither of us knew it was a set up at the time. I had just ended a two year relationship with an alcoholic cocaine addict (I was an idiot who thought I could save him) so if I had known it was a set up I wouldn't have gone. We met and at first I didn't really like him but we all ended up going back to his house and I fell in love with his kids. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with him though, given the fact that he is the sweetest and most generous person I have ever known.

So now here we are...BM is a nutbag. She calls me every name in the book, I am a loser, a slut and a whore. I am fat and ugly and the fact that I am 35 and not married with no children means I am probably a closet lesbian. I have no business taking care of her kids (as if she has done anything in that department for years) and I probably have an STD that I am not telling him about. I am worthless and no wonder he chose me because after her he would have to lower his standards.

Here is the funny thing, she doesn't pay child support. She hasn't been able to hold down a job for over a year and her last job was for two weeks as a waitress which she lost because she showed up to work drunk. She has done considerable damage to her body and her brain and has put on more than a 100 lbs since she left due to drinking. She barely makes it to her visits and drives illegally to get there. She has five criminal charges pending and is under a mental health commitment because she has been deemed mentally ill and dangerous. Her kids haven't seen her in over two months because before she was committed she was too drunk to attend her visits. She has an STD she told no one about and has been, from our understanding, bringing men home to her little apartment with her boyfriend and engaged in sex with one of them while he was recovering from appendectomy surgery. She has been prevented from having unsupervised calls or visits with the kids because the judge believes she is dangerous.

And yet, even though all of these things are the case, I'm the loser, slut whore....can we say delusional anyone?