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Why do they have to be so hateful?

1fedupsm's picture

Submitted by 1fedupsm on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 9:25am

Since the moment DH and I got together, BM has been screaming that 3 SS are her children and I needed to leave them alone. At one point we had allowed 2 older SS to create faceboo accounts. I had added them as sons on my family list ( mind you there is no "stepson" category). SHe is blocked from my facebook, but logged in to SS's account then proceeded to text and call DH that SS is her child and I have no business listing him as my son. So I deleted SS and blocked so she could no longer access my stuff.
This week we see that her BF now has a FB page that she created for him, and low and behold all 3 SS are listed as his sons on his account! I can't even begin to tell you how frusterated and hurt I am. Doesn't matter what I do it is always wrong.
At one point she thought it was cute to call me "the new mommy"! Really, I have a BD that is older than her children, not new to this game!

This might seem petty, but this is just an example of the every day events that I have to put up with. It has gotten to the point that I sometimes don't even want to deal with SS, and relish the weeks they are at BM's house!

Comments

1fedupsm's picture

Submitted by 1fedupsm on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 2:06pm

Point exactly and I removed him. But my point was that it was ok for her to list him as her bf son??? And technically, as long as he is a child that I am caring for and raising in my home he is for all intents and purposes my son, step or otherwise. I have a child from previous marriage, my spouse refers to her as his child, and no one has a problem with it cause he is a parent to her.

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 9:55am

seems facebook is not a good thing in step situations, creates drama where none would have existed. my dh and i deleted both our accounts and things are much better!

1fedupsm's picture

Submitted by 1fedupsm on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 2:07pm

Disengagement is never the answer, sorry. It doesn't help, or solve the problem and it is detrimental to you, the child, and potentially your relationship.

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Thu, 07/26/2012 - 10:17am

I cannot STAND when BMs don't recognize that it's in the best interest of their child to have another loving adult in their life. How is that a bad thing??

And yes, I hate the double standard of when BM gets a bf. When I first started dating DH, BM made it a huge point that she had to meet me IMMEDIATELY to be sure I was good with kids (WTF? I'm a teacher). And then she gets a boyfriend, has him for almost 6 months and DH had asked her to meet the guy many times and she kept saying no, that her bf doesn't WANT to meet him. Now, her newest boyfriend just moved across the country just to be with her apparently, and have we met him yet? Nope. I hate that they can make rules for other people (ahem, us!) they do not follow themselves.