Yup. You read that right.

I have to ASK him to make time in his busy day entertaining SS to be able to have a conversation about our finances.

I have to ASK him to make it a priority to come to bed with me on time. Instead of him staying up late to play the Wii with SS.

Apparently, because I didn't ASK for him to be a husband, he feels free to not have to be one.

I didn't react very well to it. He and SS were sitting on the sofa playing the Wii and I just went out and blew up on my DH in front of SS.

I said, among other things, "I can't believe that you feel I should have to ASK you for respect and common curtosy. Ok, well, how about this: I am ASKING YOU right now to stop making ME out to be the bad guy. I am ASKING YOU to behave as though you have some responsibilities in this house. I am ASKING YOU to quit blaming ME every time a rule or boundary has to be established of enforced. I am ASKING YOU to start acting like you have a responsibility to teach your son how to be a good husband: which means that I am ASKING YOU to think about whether your current actions are actually teaching your son how to treat his wife with respect. I am ASKING YOU how it is that you could possibly justify blaming ME for YOUR unwillingness to make time to have a conversation about our finances, by saying that it's my fault because I didn't ASK YOU. I am ASKING YOU how you can sit there, with a straight face, and honestly feel that I have to ASK YOU to be a husband!"

I pointed out that it is wrong for him to blame rules on me. And that it was unfair for their father to constantly blame ME for it.

I pointed out that I thought it was time for his kids to understand that my problem when they are over -- isn't with them -- but that it is with their father and the way he treats me -- with flagrant disregard and disrespect -- when they are in this house.

I told my DH that I am tired of him treating me like a second class citizen just because his kids are visiting and that telling me that I have to ASK HIM TO MAKE TIME FOR ME is outrageous and ridiculous.

I ended it with, "Husbands don't stay up all night, all week, playing video games. Husbands go to bed with their wives. I am ASKING YOU why you can't even put one ounce of thought into the consequences of your actions -- the way you make ME look -- the way you are teaching your son to treat his wife -- the way you are teaching your children to treat me."

He interrupted me and said, "You are the one making you look like the bad guy right now with this..."

Which almost made me lose it. I said, "Maybe. But I think it's time your kids know that my problem is with YOU and with the way YOU treat me when they are in this house. That my problem isn't with them. That YOU are the one who won't step up to the plate and do the things that are right for them! So maybe I look bad right now, but I am sick and tired of being walked all over!"

***

Maybe I over-reacted. Probably not.

I do know that it was probably very, very wrong for me to explode in front of SS. Now, I didn't "explode." I wasn't yelling, but I was talking kind of loud. I tried to maintain a very matter of fact tone, but I'm sure it was very clear that I am very angry.

SS was cowering next to my H. I'm sure I scared the crap out of him. I feel bad for that.

I am just so sick of it.

Seriously -- I have to ASK him to make time for me??? WTF kind of shit is that????

I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HIS WIFE!!!

I know what I wrote about what I said is not verbatim. I didn't swear and I didn't yell.

Why the hell is this so hard??? What is wrong with me???

I'm supposed to be grateful that, after a huge fight about it, H actually asked SS to stay in his room for a half-hour so that we could look at our budget? This is after not coming home until after 10pm. This is after not spending any other time with me today. This is after blowing me off when I needed to talk to him about something important. This is after SS interrupted us 3 times in that half-hour. THEN he has the nerve to tell me that he is going to stay up late playing the Wii with SS and that if I wanted him to go to bed with me that I needed to ASK him to do it!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!