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SS having some weird crying fit...

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:08am

because DH "woke up without him."

Essentially, DH woke up, but didn't wake the kid up.

So this justifies some crazy crying fit?

What's DH doing about it?

Cradling the kid, stroking his back, and rocking him.

For real.

:sick:

Comments

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:11am

This kid has no incentive to change. Why bother, it gets him dad's attention every single time. Tell that PRETEEN to man the eff up already!!! I would be so ashamed if my son acted like that. Does he have any friends? Is something wrong with him??

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:16am

Right :sick:

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:48am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin

You made me laugh insanely!

Apparently he would prefer to have a 3 year old little girl.

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:15am

If my memory serves me correctly, she has twin skids, a boy and a girl, who are about 10 or 11.

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:23am

I agree. And all I really know is that MY son (now almost 17) never acted that way.

My dad pointed out that SS may be acting that way because he doesn't feel safe in our house. Now, given how I am made out to be some child-hating ogre, I could see why SS may be uncomfortable around me. Every time a rule has to be enforced, it's always me insisting that it be enforced. Every time a boundary has to be established, it's always me establishing it.

Example: I do NOT want the skids in our bedroom. I don't even allow my own son into our bedroom. I feel that the parents bedroom is an "Off Limits" place to kids. My DH doesn't feel the same way. However, my DH doesn't have to agree with it, in order to respect my wishes. Or, at least you would think. The reality is that this has become an on-going issue. And I am FED THE F*CK up over it. I have talked to my DH about it a minimum of 6 times. He's not respecting my wishes about it. And now who gets to look like the bad guy, because I've decided that if DH isn't going to respect my boundaries and/or establish the rule that our bedroom is Off Limits to kids -- then I WILL DO IT. I am not f*cking around about it anymore. So guess who gets to look like the bad guy? That's right, me. So when I am telling SS to get out of my bed and out of my room, and DH silently sulks out of the room with the SS, what message does SS get? That's right, that I am REALLY the bad guy.

So yeah, I can *see* how the kid may not feel safe around me. My DH is giving him the message that I'm not safe.

HOWEVER, after witnessing this newest fit this morning: I go back to asserting that SS is emotionally immature for his age and that my DH is infantilizing the same way his parents infantilized him. That the reason why SS is so far up DH's *ss is because his needs for a male role-model are NOT being fulfilled by his step-dad. He is needy to the point of approx. a 6 year old level.

I'm willing to accept that it's a combination of both.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 12:00pm

I am the same way!!! I don't want anyone in my bedroom except SO and I. Never anyone else in my bed!! It just creeps me out so bad. I fell like parents should have some privacy and 1 room in the house that is kid free. I was always like this with my bios when ex-DH and I were together they knew our room was off limits and after we divorced we both kept similar house rules. SD13 was used to sleeping with SO and the BM every night :jawdrop:. She was 9 freaking years old when they split!!!

It took me almost 2 years to get SO to man up and let SD know that she was not allowed in our room. She would go in there and watch TV while we were at work it would infuriate me!!!

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:24am

AHHH!!! I WISH I COULD!!!

I SOOOooo need to do it and to play it back to DH so he can see how freaking weird and sick he looks coddling the kid like he's an infant.

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 9:33am

It sounds completely nauseating. The kid is emotionally immature because of his parents. They are handicapping him. He's so "delicate" because they reinforce that crap with him. I bet if your DH removed his head from his a$$ and had reasonable expectations for him, instead of CREATING reasons and excuses for him, the kid would fall in line.

Was that ridiculous fit supposed to tug at your heartstrings, too? I would've laughed at him, long and hard. Make him feel as stupid as he's acting!

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 10:10am

I looked at him, flared my nostrils, snarled my lip, shook my head, and just walked away.

I'm sure those non-verbals were enough to get my message across.

No wonder the kid "doesn't feel safe" around me.

Oh well. I suppose that it's better he not feel safe around me, than to have him thinking he could come to me with some crap like that. Then again, if he came to me with some crap like that, it would give me an opportunity to teach him how to suck it up.

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 10:23am

I guess in order for the kid to feel safe, you would have to cater and conform to the dysfunction while keeping a stepford wife smile on your face.

Honestly, this poor kid! He's suffering from the immense discomfort of.....WAKING UP.

Boy, please. He should be grateful that he even got to wake up this morning. Many, many people were NOT afforded that same luxury. Ugh, get off it!

smdh's picture

Submitted by smdh on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 10:32am

Geesh. My son is 18 months and while I do comfort him, I don't go overboard when I think he is simply being silly. If I have to go to the bathroom and he has a meltdown outside the bathroom door, I simply remind him that he is fine. I do not encourage it or otherwise make him feel like he had a reason to be upset by making a big deal about it. I simply reassure him that he is fine.

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:55pm

Same thing with my DS2. I don't find crying fits and tantrums cute when toddlers do it. I would puke immediately to see a 10.5 year old act like that.
Him cuddling and comforting SS only reinforces that his "issues" have substance. When my mom watches my son fall, she starts gasping and making such an issue of it that he starts crying and getting upset, even if he's not really hurt. With me, I say You're Okay! And he is, no issues.

I personally think DH gets off on being so "needed". Eww.