Having to take stool samples from SS because he got a bacterial infection at BM's house from the filth.

Having to take WORM medicine because ss had worms. Having a kid in my home have detention ( none of my children have ever had a detention). Having a kid in my house bring home fs. Have to hide food. Having to hide my alcohol. Having to hide my money. Having to hide my panties. The list is endless.

Also having to hide dd14 AND ds13's underpants.

As I am reflecting back, thinking about the evolution of my relationship with my DH and I realize that, no matter how bad the skids and BM are, I came into this with my eyes wide open. I suppose there were times I've underestimated how screwed up BM is, but considering she's always just a shit storm brewing, I'm never really *surprised* by anything she does. The skids are still just kids. Badly behaved and poor mannered, but still just kids. I'm never really *surprised* by them either.

The ONE thing that I could say that I was blind-sided/slapped in the face/surprised by is the fact that the in-laws are so sick in their passive aggressive behavior, that they would passive aggressively undermine every effort that I made to try to help the skids. It was a total and absolute shock to me to learn that those people really just wanted the right to bitch about how bad the skids behave and that they are not, in any way, invested in the type of adults the skids grow into being. On top of that, I was absolutely and totally shocked that they were scapegoating ME to my DH -- telling him that I'm an evil step-mom and that I, "... should be doing a, b, c..." and, "... shouldn't be doing x, y, and z."

While I was trying to lift their son up and as a man, a husband, and a father -- they were silently tearing him down.

Never in a BILLION years would I have guessed how sick my in-laws are. Living with them for the first 8 months of our marriage was a huge, huge mistake. A mistake that almost cost us our marriage because of their intrusiveness and manipulations.

I too come from a family where education is highly valued. What blows me away is how these kids are treated like they can't do anything to support their own learning.

The deadline is the most important thing. Whoever has to take over the homework to meet the deadline does it for the kids. Dad does research online, finds the appropriate stuff to print off, find the right photos to print off, then the kid (aww poor baby) has to cut these things out all by themselves and stick them on their presentation board. As long as it's in by the deadline, that's all that matters.

If a deadline is missed the parents will contact the teacher asking for an extension, and here's the insane part....the teacher GRANTS IT! What's up with that? What does that teach the kid?

When a kid asks how to spell a word, I coach them through figuring it out, and correct only if they're really stuck, give them clues, etc. Not Dad. Kid says "how do you spell X" and Dad spells it for them. How are they ever supposed to learn how to think????

I never allowed anyone to do my kids' homework for them. If they earned an A it was their A to be proud of. If they earned an F they had no one to blame but themselves. And plagiarizing was a four letter word in my home. (My kids are grown now). I'm constantly scratching my head over this one. Never knew there were really parents out there, that short-sighted.