BS is driving me F^&@ing insane....bring on the alcohol
My BS17, who has been in trouble with the law since last summer. and still is, b/c he keeps breaking his NA (no association). Well, I'd had enough and let him go live with my grandparents until things calmed down here. As things had gotten so bad my BP was sky rocketing!!
2 days ago my granny called me and was telling me that his PO called. (I had emailed him to let him know what was going on, with his behavior and his grades) I told her the only reason he wanted to stay with her is b/c then he didnt have to listen to MY rules. and she actually said "yeah I know".!!!! Anyway I told her if she didnt like his bahavior I would just come down there and get him as long as she would back me up. She told me "No I wont back you up, he can stay here as long as he wants!!" She also told me that SHE would call his PO and talk to him and "that if you want you can come sit in"
Well, today BS17 job called me telling me that he never showed up to work.This was at 440pm. I called my granny and told her. She told me that she dropped him off at 4. Well, I guess she called his job and they told her the same thing. She left for a little while and she got a call from BS and he told her that he had gotten off early and went to a friedns house. Now she knows this is a lie. She calls his job again, and again. To find out if he ever showed up and the second time to see if he still had a job, and the find out his schedule. She told them that she would personally make sure he was at work every day.
She called me and was telling me that when he gets home she is going to let him explain, and then tell him that since he wants to lie to them that he can just come back down here to my house. She wants me to come down and back her up (yeah right)! Now she's telling me that maybe I should call his PO and tell them everything, but when I just did 2 days ago she covered for his ass. Its like its ok for him to do it to me but not to her and my poppy.
I told her that pray for him to turn 18 sooner, so I can get him out of my house. I have given up and wiped my hands clean. (I know its wrong for a mom to say about her own child, but when this child doesn't want to change...)
I just needed to vent.......I know she will be calling me again here in a few minutes...........
(what a great way to kick off summer vaca)
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Comments
I thought you were the poster
I thought you were the poster who had none of her bios living with her. No? I may be confusing you with someone else.
No I have 3 BK. My oldest is
No I have 3 BK. My oldest is 19 and she lives with my grandparents....but she is always here LOL
My BS is 17.....and the trouble
My youngest is BD16....she lives here with me and DH
Ah, gotcha. I'm sorry to hear
Ah, gotcha.
I'm sorry to hear about your son's troubles.
Have they gotten worse since you've 'washed your hands of him?'
Why don't you turn him over
Why don't you turn him over as a ward of the state so when he commits a crime for real and owes money, you're not liable. You're clearly not interested in parenting him, might as well cover your ass.
Whoo..it has nothing to do
Whoo..it has nothing to do with not parenting or not wanting too. I love my oldest bs with all my heart and wish there was still a way he could be here. But he got so outta control and violent that I had no choice but to send him away. It broke my heart but it was the right decision. You can be the best parent in the world do everything right and still have a kid that will do whatever they want.
"You can be the best parent
"You can be the best parent in the world do everything right and still have a kid that will do whatever they want."
^^^^this exactly^^^^^^
My BS also has AHDH and ODD, and anger issues. So he will do whatever he wants and it doesnt matter what anyone says. I have tried my mighiest. It has come down to causing major health issues with me.
i agree also. my mom did
i agree also. my mom did everything wrong, and i turned out fine. my bff did everything right, and her son (17) is a psychopath that she had to kick out of her home for his violent behavior. parents are not always to blame for a kids problems any more than they can always take credit for their accomplishments.
I think in order to really
I think in order to really help your BS, you should NOT back up granny. I appreciate she is grandmother (while I dont know her age or whether she has a partner), it seems she is shortsighted when it comes to issues where you need back up, and rightly so. Nothing wrong with saying "your mom is right. You need to shape up or ship out..."
Trouble is I think your granny needs to learn the hard way NOT to enable your BS, meaning if she doesnt want to hear sense and realise that as the Mom she needs to be supporting you not playing favourites, then shes on her own (obviously to a degree, I mean with the back up thing). She cant be playing for BOTH sides, and as his mother and the adult, along with actually trying to change BS she needs to be firmer with him and supportive of you!
JIMPO.
Have you considered the
Have you considered the military? I had an acquaintance in high school (he is still a good friend of a good friend) who got in trouble and the judge told him 1 year in jail or join the army. Your choice. He joined and has been in for 10+ years at this point. He got training and makes good money. It worked out for him...