There are times I feel just fine. I dont stress about ss14, feel happy, etc and there are other times where feelings of rage just sort of bubble over. I guess today is one of the rage bubbling kind of days. So we are talking about other things and start talking about getting ready for tonight. We are leaving on vaca and ss is going to stay with relatives.

I mention, "You know ss has no clean clothes, right?" and he's like "Why not?". I respond, "Because he never washed those blankets and towels-I ended up finishing them for him last weekend and he hasnt washed anything since. His clothes are in the garage-he knows where they are".

So dh's solution is for him to take his dirty clothes with him. He is going to MIL't tonight. Ugh. That means he will arrive with his dirty clothes-he will tell her some nonsense about hismineandours wouldnt let him wash his clothes and she will wash them all up for him. On one hand, I guess I shouldnt care but it ends up defeating the whole purpose I had in taking his clothes from him in the first place.

He DID tell dh that I would not allow him to wash anything (by this i guess he means not only his clothes but the blankets and towels as well). Dh starts in about how "the other kids..." and I interrupt him immediately and tell him ALL the other kids including our 10 year old can do their own laundry and can do so independently. NONE of them would allow their crap to pile up for A MONTH and continue to defy us by not doing their laundry despite being repeatedly told by both of us to do so. I also told my dh that weeks ago I told ss that I'd do his laundry for him all he has to do is ask. Well, he doesnt want to ask. So he lets it pile up instead.

i told dh-that he's the one that wanted the kid here-if he doesnt feel like making ss do his own laundry dh better get his ass in there and do it himself. He had little response to that. I said when we get back I'm going to cut off access to the towels and he can have the blanket that's on his bed. If you want him to have more you can go buy him some more and do his laundry for him-but i'm done.

I really didnt know I was still raging inside over this. It's just so hard for me to grasp-why a 14 year old wants to sleep in a room with 10 pissy blankets, 20 mildewy towels, and wear dirty clothes to school every day. I mean he makes the effort to shower every morning so he doesnt smell like pee-so evidently there is some awareness and desire not to be smelly. And why would it be more rewarding for him to continue to be defiant here? Wouldnt it just be easier to do the damn laundry so you'd have clean clothes? Or-if you have someone (me) offering to do your laundry for you and all you have to do is ask-wouldnt you just do that if you didnt feel like doing it yourself? I almost feel as if he's playing a game with me-that he is going to be stubborn and he thinks I am going to wash his clothes myself and give them back to him. Or that he just wants to be able to tell everyone that I will not let him wash his clothes to make me look bad.