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My letter to SS18

amackeral's picture

***I read this to SS when he got home from work. Pretty damn proud of myself, I stayed calm and didn't yell a single time. I asked him if he had anything to say to me afterwards, or anything he wanted to discuss that I had just said...he said no, so whatever***

Your attitude towards me is bullshit and unwarranted. I’m tired of your little drama fests, pity parties, or whatever you want to call them. You sit and pout about everything that doesn’t go your way. I am done putting up with your attitude. You want to be treated like an adult, act like one. You want to be treated with respect, start respecting me.

As an adult, figure out the solutions to your own problems. I’ve picked you up from work on several occasions, without being asked. I have taken you to/from your friend’s house many times, to DMV, to the movie theater, clear to freaking (city about 30 minutes west of us) to hang out with friends. I struggled and stressed for MONTHS to make sure you had a roof over your head, and so we wouldn’t be homeless when (finance company for DH's house) decides to foreclose on the other house. A lot more goes on behind the scenes for your dad and I to keep everything running smoothly around here, so you have a place to live and you don’t appreciate me, or him, one damn bit for anything we have done for you.

Until you start treating me with the respect I deserve, as the adult of this house, I will not do anything for you. Whether or not you like me as a person is a whole other type of respect all together, but you will no longer disrespect me like you have been for the past year. I will no longer ignore your attitude; I will no longer turn the other cheek. If you don’t like this, you can find your own place to live, so you don’t have to follow my rules. Just remember, your dad expects you to leave your cell phone here if you move out.

The days are done of you treating everyone like crap. You need to grow up and get the chip off your shoulder. I am not Stepdad #1, I am not Stepdad #2. I am amackeral, and I am caring, and sadly probably care more about you than your own mother does. But if you want to treat me like a bitch, I will become one.

If you don’t start treating BD9 with the respect she deserves, you will find yourself looking for your own place faster than you thought. Don’t treat her like a stupid little kid, cuz she’s not. She’s super smart and has a heart of gold, that you seem to enjoy crushing, whether you mean to or not. Don’t say things to her that you wouldn’t want said to you. It’s called the Golden Rule; treat others how you want to be treated. I have worked hard to teach BD9 this, and there are so many times that you say things to her that hurt her feelings, she doesn’t spout back off to you because of this rule.

You need to stop getting pissy when you don’t get you the answer you want for something. And don’t get all pissy when I tell you to mow the lawn or clean your room. You live in this house, you will contribute to the responsibilities. And you will follow the rules. If I see dirty clothes or garbage on your floor again, I won’t “nag” you about it anymore. I will simply throw everything in a garbage sack and throw it away, no questions asked, no exceptions.

You have a great life, you have everything you need, be thankful for it or figure out what you need to do to be happy. If it’s to join the military so you can get out of this house and away from me, great, join the military. I will promise you this, and this is something your dad and I have talked a lot about. If you don’t figure out how to change your attitude, you will start going to counseling. If you can’t change your attitude by yourself, then a requirement for living here will be to go to a counselor so they can help you change your attitude. You can’t use your past as an excuse for being a pissed off little boy anymore.

Comments

amackeral's picture

Honestly, like I expected him to. Completely straight faced, said "ok" and that was it, no reaction, no comments of his own.

Do I think it will make a difference? No not really, but at least now, the expectations are there and he knows if he treats me like that again, he will be out.

I honestly hope he is looking for a way out right now, but I doubt he is. Why would he give up free rent, free food, free everything? He still has his dad to coddle him, so until his dad mans up and starts being a dad instead of a friend, he will ride the free ride as long as he can.

amackeral's picture

Honestly, it took me a year to work up to this. It took moving out of a house his dad owned, moving into a house where only my name is on it...to get up the nerve, to woman up and put my foot down. I wish I had done this sooner. But better late than never I guess. Time will tell how he reacts to this little sit down. As bad as it may sound, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he finds a friend he can crash with, and moves out!

amackeral's picture

LOL, you cracked me up, thanks! I needed that laugh. Now I'm going to think of myself as a tuna all day.

His dad acts like nothing is going on. Has only once told him "you will not treat her that way" and that was only when SS said flat out he didn't want me here. He has never got after SS after he has yelled obscenities at me. And has never made him apologize to me. I'm sure he won't even say anything to SS about this letter, he will act like he doesn't even know it happened.

But that's ok, I don't need him to. I told SS exactly how I feel and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.