Where is GS3's father and why does he not have his son?

Sorry, but you kind of act surprised that you have a 3 year old to take care of! Lol. Just ribbing you! (kind of)

I think I would tell DW that she needs to take the grand kid with her on vacation! If you don’t do that, at least still take him to daycare.

I don’t think this is going to get better for you. Didn’t your wife’s other kid give up her children also?

Sorry to say, but I think this is your future. Your DW’s kids were not raise in a way that makes them parent material. Hate to say this….but does not really sound like your wife is mother material either.

And this is why my sons know that if they decide to knock somebody up, they are on their own. I am done raising kids and will NOT pick up anybody elses mess either. FUCK THAT.

I got knocked up at 15. My mother kicked me out of the house pregnant and all. At the time, I was devastated. NOW? I am grateful. I learned to survive on my own without her. I am the most responsible adult of all 4 of her kids. Stumbled, plenty of times, struggled like crazy. But in the end, I came out on top. I can't even fathom having one of my sons girlfriends living in my house. Believe me, the mothereffers have TRIED, but I nip it in the bud REAL QUICK. One girl even had the nerve to bring all her clothes! I put all her clothes in garbage bags, brought it to work with me, and UPS'ed it back to her parents house. She was outta my house in less than 48 hours. Please....I am dying to be done with my OWN kids, you think I'm ready to deal with more? OH HELL NO!

Dh and I also raise ss7 fulltime and have since he was 2. For the past good long while bm has only seen him on major holidays. She has never had anything to do with him outside of when he was physically with her, which has never been more than about 36 hours a month tops. She pays no child support. BM posts endless pictures of partying, drinking, road trips etc on her facebook. She is primiscuous. She spends all her money on herself. Our lawyer has told us that our situation does not meet the criteria for supervised visitation or termination of rights. Although I love ss and we are a nuclear family for all intents and purposes, I feel very resentful and angry of/with bm, as does DH (i think him more so). Our sex life is like nonexistent and we rarely get any adult time. I put in all the work and make all the sacrifices and she to be "mommy" to society and the courts, whereas I am not even recognized as a legal parent. mothers day is the hardest for me. I basically go into meltdown because i have to get ss ready and hand him off to the bm he hasnt seen in however many months. All of my anger and resentment (and dh's) is directed at BM, none of it at ss. I think what you feel is completely normal. I fully supported dh in getting sole custody of ss, but that doesnt mean that i dont abhor bm's behaviour and choices.

I figured your stepdaughter would do this. She doesn't want the kid when its not convent for her.

i wonder about this happening with sd19, too. she is pregnant, i'm guessing due around december. she will be 20 when the baby is born. she did this on purpose after a few months of pretending to forget her birth control, having a pregnancy scare every other month, and acting like she was scared of the idea of being pregnant. it was all a big act to avoid it being known that she was actually trying to get pregnant. she underestimates my intelligence. i was on to her the first time. she's not a good actress. it was so apparent that she wanted to be pregnant. no one who doesn't want to be pregnant says things like "i wonder what i'll have first..." while looking at baby clothes in a store.

i already told fdh that i am not raising her kid or being an on call sitter for her. she wanted this, she can do it herself. i have one child i need to be getting prepared for college and a very challenging 4 year old with behavior and developmental issues. my hands are full and i'm not taking on her kid so she can go be a normal 20 year old.

look I live in Oregon and have a family home in Lincoln city right on devils lake. Do you want to vanish for a while?

I totally feel your pain, frustration, and resentment over this situation. You don't want to be raising a child for the next 15 years, you want time to enjoy your marriage, which is how you expected it to be by now. Yet, you don't want to abandon the kid either, it's not his fault and he needs someone to care for him and give him a fair chance in life.

My situation is similar, though I am fortunate in comparison because my stepgrandchildren's father does take the kids a couple days a week to give us a break, and talks of taking them even more eventually. But my wife and I went through the same thing when she first took on the kids. She changed her work schedule to work around when the kids wouldn't be with us. She made everything all about them. The end result was zero time for just the 2 of us. And of course much less frequency in our sex life. It really threatened to pull us apart for a while, until my wife apparently came to the realization that she needed to balance things a little better, and find a way to make time for her husband as well.

Somehow, you and your wife are going to have to make time for just the 2 of you. It's a lot harder in your situation, but if you love DW and want to continue to be married, and it is obvious from your blogs that this is the case, the 2 of you are going to have to sit down and come up with a plan to get some together alone time. Maybe you pay a babysitter so you can go out, even if after paying the babysitter all you can afford is a cheap dinner and a walk in the park, or some other inexpensive alternative. As long as it's time away from the kid. I know it must look hopeless right now, but maybe as time passes and you get into a routine, you'll be able to find ways to make opportunities for quality time together. For now, I'd say the most important thing is to talk about this with DW, so at least even if you can't find any time together at present, you are both connected regarding wanting to make it happen.

One other thing from my recent experience, I found myself thinking about raising these kids for the next 15 years, and the thought is overwhelming and depressing, and my emotions were spiraling deeper and deeper into despair. I forced myself to not look at the big picture, and try to take it a week at a time, sometimes just a day at a time. It's hard not to think ahead, but it's easier to cope in the present if you can stay focused on the short term.