I totally understand.

DH had asked BM for a divorce, and he was staying until they could work out who would live where. She conveniently stopped taking the pill without telling him, but then again, if you want a divorce you should probably not sleep with that person. They are both at fault, and voila! SD15 was born.
BM actually told me she got pregnant with her on purpose, because if he was leaving her she would get more child support for two kids.

They'll think of the most elaborate ways. Hell, most of them are pretty god liars to begin with.

Mine? Yeah, wish he wore a condom, he even offered to go buy them--what did BM say? Not necessary because she was supposedly 1. infertile due to health issues, 2. already starting menopause (42 at the time), 3. had crohns and was taking a pill every day that would prevent pregnancy since it is fatal to the fetus

So, what happened?
She was obviously not 1. infertile, as she got preggos in the 2nd and last month she'd been with him (which means she went through only 2 ovulation cycles, the second of which was the golden ticket) 2. maybe she was starting? who knows, don't know if that matters, and 3. found out months later through her mom she doesn't have crohn's (she has irritable bowel syndrome) and the pill for crohns is... designed solely for crohn's... so... what pill was she taking that prevents pregnancy? also, she told FDH she was on it, right? Well after, she said it is such a miracle she stopped taking it. Um. What?

What we think happened:
She was with her boyfriend of nine years at the time, and because she actually doesn't like children because she NEEDS attention (shit talked a 10 year old girl at a party because she was getting more attention than her), she was taking birth control but told him it was for crohns. Wanted FDH, so she stopped taking them and got preggos. She was never infertile and was not about to go through menopause.

FDH was stupid, even he admits it. He wishes he had never even looked at her. Had he been able to see the future, he would have kicked her the hell out the moment she walked in the door.

I ponder this constantly. What really would have been soooo difficult about SO wearing a condom? OK, sure GUBM is allergic to latex, but, they had latex-free condoms then way back then. He never should have listened to her dumb ass when she said "I can't get pregnant" because it was clearly just a lie, SD12 is walking proof that she can indeed get pregnant. It baffles me and skeeves me out all at the same time because, ew.

And, much like your situation and the one that aggravated1 mentioned, SO and GUBM were almost completely on the outs before she was suddenly and "miraculously" with child. SO never wanted kids - though he can't imagine life without SD, now - and GUBM wanted a whole herd. What in sweet hell is with these women who get knocked up on purpose when the relationship is going south? That never, ever fixes a relationship!

I know exactly what you mean.... in my case, my bf was "talking" to the bm for a while, she was a friend of his sister's. They dated for a bit. He said nothing serious. Which I translate to the fact that they slept together casually.
Oh guess what.. oops! She's prego.. and what's even crazier is her birth control pills that she was supposedly on..well, she never said she was actually birth control.. she said he just assumed that.
He said he thought she was on the pill or he would have not had sex with her.
12 years later.... Yeh, whatever. I just think that the bm really got knocked up bc she thought that my bf would marry her. I read the letters that he has stored in his secret box. Yep, that's what she thought.
She practically begged him in the letters to marry her so she could be his wife and they could be a family. blah blah blah.
And that my friends is why she got pregnant.
I seriously think that the bm flip flops. I think part of her regrets what she did bc she has to deal with my bf. He can be a butt when he wants, too.
But at the same time, she keeps telling everyone how alike he and her current spouse are, even her daughter!!
That's gross!!! I think that she's still got a thing for him. She calls him all the time to talk to him about nothing that matters. Funny bc now she doesn't call when he's at home with me in the evening s anymore. Only when he's at work.
Strange. And when he was single..she was all up in his koolaid.. calling him all the time and confiding that her marriage was not very happy at that time.
Whatever..get a life is what I wanted to say to her!

My DH and I never really talk about how or why he chose this POS to be the mother of his children. In one way I'm glad I only have one looney bitch to contend with but everytime I see her, hear her voice, see her texts in my DHs phone I want to claw his eyes out. How could he not know what type of woman this was? I guess I'll never know. Although, a part of me is fully aware that the man he is today is COMPLETELY a different person and TODAY he would NEVER choose a scumbag like that. Clearly, he ended up with me.

OMG YES!!! If bf had worn one he would have known THEN that sd wasnt his-instead of being in doubt for pullling out when she was supposedly starting her pd-it was likely actually implantation bleeding from other sperm at that point -YUCK!!! Graffic and horrid, but that's reality.
He would have not married her, demanded a test right then, well life would be very different for him and I.

I was married 4 years and my first was planned-wasn't a great marriage then but heck I didn't know better and his abuse wasn't what it would become after I got preggos. My 2nd-well...I couldn't be on pill-was still breastfeeding, when after using withdrawl for YEARS succesfully he had an 'oops' (was told after the fact when I found out I was preggos again) before withdrawl...hmmm...thinks were bad, but you dont' deny sex to an abusive partner unless you want things to get worse. It was on a 'honeymooning' week. He was very aware of me not taking birth control=he also knew I wanted out, IMO it was HIS way of keeping me with him. I bet you anything HIS story is different, he probably used the 'she trapped me w/the second' line that so many women here get told. Oh well...I know the truth about myself and my bf, and that's what matters.

THAT SAID, if I had insisted on a condom second time around I wouldn't have my youngest son and I do not regret him for one second, even if I was devastated when I learned I was pregnant again. I know my bf would be happier, period-if he had worn a condom and been able to prove paternity over a decade ago.

Life is what it is though. The good and the bad.