Should dh file for cs or not?
So anywho-there's a long convoluted history here-but my dh has always had sole custody of ss since age 1. BM started paying cs when he was 6 because dh finally got around to filing for it. At 9.5 ss moved in with bm. We didnt change anything custody wise as dh was supposed to return in a year. So she simply stopped paying and we paid her the amount that she had paid. Well, dh ended up not living in our home full time for 4 years due to injuries and such. At some point, bm had him sign some papers (I never saw them due to my disengagement at the time)about cs/custody as they were holding her tax return saying she owed us. My dh doesnt remember what he signed. Then bm kicked ss out in July. He went to live with mil. We have always supported ss through him living here, cs, or eventually dh's disability payment. BM has not provided any support for ss since he moved out of her home.
Now that he is moving back from mil's-we are trying to figure out what to do. I think dh wants to do nothing. She rarely sees ss-maybe for a weekend every few months or so-he'd like just to never deal with her again and forget the cs. I have some issues with it. She should not get the choice to not support her son. My dh makes adequate money-he doesn't "need" her support-but if nothing else we could put it in the bank for ss. He is afraid if he files cs then she will be making sure she takes visitation-which he doesn really want as ss gets in trouble down there and because frankly she is just a pill alot of the times. I told him he needs to at least give her the option. She has a full time job in a factory. She receives cs for two other kids and my understanding is that she is currently living with her mom-so really she should have the money to pay cs. She just doesnt want to. She also claimed him on taxes although it is our year to claim him. She's just kind of a snarky bitch.
I am not comfortable, myself, with the idea of her not contributing to his care, but yet calling up and expecting visits whenever she wants. Ridiculous IMO. I know the two are not supposed to be linked-but it apears to me that we dont actually have a current cs or visitation order. And I feel like that needs to be established.
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Get all your ducks in a row,
Get all your ducks in a row, If you want to be KIND and not pursue CS that's your decision, atleast get all your documents settled. Custody papers etc, so she can't file him on her taxes again.
You can dispute the taxes if
You can dispute the taxes if you can prove he resides with you. Get everything done in court. I agree she should pay. We don't force BM since she agreed to give up custody of SS. But, that was the better end of the deal.
If she doesn't want to pay, leave it up to the courts to handle.
Personally, I'd want
Personally, I'd want everything in writing via CO. You can't necessarily make her follow it, but at least you won't have to worry about her coming after you 7 years from now demanding her "back child support."
I think you should absolutely
I think you should absolutely ask for support and I'll tell you why.
I am against any parent having parental privelage but no parental responsibility.
Do you honestly think that the $50 a month that BM2 pays DH for SD9 is a drop in the bucket towards supporting her? No, it isn't. But it's $50 that adds up all year long with interest until they garnish it from her PFD every year, and that's $600+ dollars that she doesn't get, which goes towards something that SD needs, because otherwise, BM2 would only have the privelages, and none of the responsibility of having SD9. That just isn't fair.
Yes Why should you help
Yes
Why should you help support a child they created while he makes the choice to let BM off the hook?
Are you still collecting the
Are you still collecting the disability payment for SS? If so, and that was considered support for MIL, should it not be considered support for you now?
Disability payments are an entitlement program...your DH isn't "providing" for SS.
My dh is absolutely providing
My dh is absolutely providing for ss. He paid taxes for over 20 years. It is technically, by law, considered my dh's income. For example if figuring cs, the monthly allotment that is in ss's name is still considered dh's income even if it goes to bm or someone else. Because dh's disability is what creates it in the first place.
So I'm not sure what your thinking is-dh supporting ss through his income should not really count as him supporting ss? So therefore bm shouldnt pay support either?
^^^^^ This absolutely. I
^^^^^
This absolutely. I honestly have doubts you will make it past two months, well before you make it to court, before this kid is placed somewhere. Then the state will make her pay.
Best of luck to you.
I agree with StepAside - I do
I agree with StepAside - I do not feel this arrangement is necessarily going to last - and starting an action to claim CS might be jumping the gun and creating much more stress for everyone. Leave it a few months and then revisit this issue, would be my advice.