pay up dead beat BM
Time to ruffle some feathers. So BM is diving me nuts with these daily calls.with the skids about this "fun trip" . I want to tell her that if she has enough money to go stay at expensive hotels in Miami then she needs to start sending us $100/week for food. I'm tired of using my.money and credit cards so her kids can eat all the food. If she isn't going to be a parent anytime soon she needs to at.least take financial responsibility. I know if I tell SO about this he will say to leave her.alone,he doesn't want her help and its going to start a.whole big mess---- I don't care at this point. I'm so tired.of.her BS and getting away.with everything. Where is karma when u need her?!?!
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Who has custody? Is there an
Who has custody? Is there an Order in place?
Don't use YOUR money or CC
Don't use YOUR money or CC for the skids.
She needs to pay. I agree.
She needs to pay. I agree. Give your SO a choice either she pays or you cut him off. it isnt right for your money to go to her kids and her not support them at all. It would be different if he made a ton of money and could do it by himself but the fact that you are paying out of your accounts crosses a line.
Karma does come around....I have seen it happen to our own BM. I cant wait for tomorrows court date to determine custody....I hope she doesnt show, last we heard she fled to another state.
There is no court order in
There is no court order in place. He has been taking care of them.for 7 years although her help financial or parental. No child support. --> it sucks!
"I know if I tell SO about
"I know if I tell SO about this he will say to leave her.alone,he doesn't want her help..."
Great, then he shouldn't mind paying for things you're currently paying for. }:)
Stop helping him with his kids. See how long he sings the leave her alone song when he has to keep dipping into his pockets instead of yours.
Well I big food for the house
Well I big food for the house for everyone including my son. So I can't just stop buying food. Especially if SO doesn't have any money. He pays all the rent some bills. I pay for food and household things. Some bills too but I literally buy everything for our 16 month old son. I never buy his kids clothes shoes stuff like that. After buying school supplies for 3 years in a row I've stopped buying stuff for them. They have 2 parents .I just texted BM so we'll see if she decides to text.me back. --- I doubt it. She tends to ignore.me when I'm making a reasonable request.
They were not married. My
They were not married. My older SS14 isn't even biologically my SO's but he rasised him since he was born. SS14 doesn't know his Bio father at all,to him it's SO. I've told SO about doing the legal route, make her pay child.support etc... he doesn't want to. He knows that she'll make it hard and with SS14 not even being his it's hard to persue things.legally because more than.likely.the courts would.still favor her. Plus he said he wants her in their.life as less as possible. But lets her call all the time....???? I don't know what to do because money is so low and going to a lawyer etc.is just taking time.away from us working and taking care.of the kids. I know.in the long run its necessary but its difficult to get a start on this whole.process. BM is a piece of shit.
I'm in Illinois. What forms
I'm in Illinois. What forms am I supposed to download? How can he file.for.custody if SS14 isn' biologically his??? I'm so confused I'm hoping this will help. This is what you.would a call a.cluster-fuck. Thanks for the advice.
So he hasn't signed a
So he hasn't signed a paternity/birth certificate/adoption? I would HOPE the courts would see his involvement AS dad this whole time and his intent to CONTINUE being dad as way of granting him paternal rights??? "in best interest of child"
And you need to get firm with you dh, it's NOT ok for you guys to suffer financially becuase HIS EGO and selfish 'i don't need her' attitude...his ways are affecting your whole family now.
TIME for him to put the pride aside and have him demand some support or help or else he WILL go take it to court-sometimes the threat is enough to get her to contribute some. He's to proud to ask the ex but not to proud to ask YOU to contribute to help raise her kids???
I'm pretty sure he signed
I'm pretty sure he signed both birth certificates for the boys. I will have to find that out. But SS14 has his moms.last.name....Yes my.main point is that I'm going broke for him his kids while she is living high on the hog - scamming the system and depending on her bf. Doesn't it count that be has provided for them.without her for 7 years. She should. Be paying child.support to him but if it came to that she would then want custody or 50/50 .custody so she wouldn't have to pay anything
.
Trueblood...I have the same
Trueblood...I have the same situation, absentee BM and skids that aren't my DH. The skid that is not his is considered legally abandoned, it will be easier to get custody than you may think
50/50 doesnt necessarily mean
50/50 doesnt necessarily mean no cs. I have 50/50 and exdh pays cs. Its practically pennies but he pays, because he makes ALOT more than me.
Yep I will second what cant
Yep I will second what cant win for losin said. We will soon have my stepkids 70% of the time-and we STILL have to pay their mother, because her income is much lower than SO's.