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Is this something for CPS to get involved?

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:17am

So, DH got a call from the secretary at the lawyer's office yesterday. Lawyer was scheduled to return to the office today but there is some kind of family emergency & he won't be back until after next week.

SS called DH again last night. Like always, DH asked him whether or not they got their school tests. Like always, SS said no. He continued to talk about it, but what he said doesn't make sense. I don't know if he's honestly as clueless as he comes across as being. I belive he's concerned about saying too much or trying to cover for BM. Of course, BM is off her fucking block & NOTHING that comes out of her mouth means anything.

The way SS explained it...

Before they took their week at the beach this summer he's saying he took the test to progress from 10th grade to 11th grade. He said that the test BM has ordered (2 weeks ago & still has not received) was to progress him from 11th grade to his senior year. Yet he says that the homeschooling he did this past year was the 11th grade curriculum. So, he's implying that he's completed the 11th grade curriculum, but didn't test out of the 10th grade until after he completed his 11th grade year. I feel quite safe in assuming that the district wouldn't enroll him in the 11th grade curriculum BEFORE he tested out of 10th grade.

The more questions DH asks him about it, the more he talks himself in circles & NONE of what he says makes any sense.

I'm pissed. DH has left 6 messages with the woman in charge of the testing through the district & she has not returned one call. I don't know if BM has him listed as someone they are not allowed to discuss this with or what.

I can't apply the "Not my child; not my problem" way of thinking here, because I'm not okay with knowing that a 15-year old is wasting away in BM's house with (as far as we've been told, but don't even know for sure) an 8th grade education. They keep saying that SD is to start 9th grade, but that's when they were saying SS was to start his senior year. It doesn't sit well with me to know that & make no effort to alert somebody.

I tried to find something on the District's website about the education/attendance laws, but everything is so wishy-washy. The attendance rules apply to public school attendance. It states they have to take SOL exams, but doesn't say anything about actually educating the kids.

I read the CPS website, but from what I saw there lack of education does not fall under their neglect criteria.

Is there someone I can make an anonymous report to who will do something?

Comments

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:27am

You can ALWAYS make an anonymous report to CPS. You should call them and explain the situation and ask what can be done -- if it's not a CPS issue they can direct to where you need to go.

I feel like there is something regarding this -- some sort of a neglect issue if a parent isn't providing education -- but I'm not sure if it applies if the child is over 16. What is the age in your state where a child can "drop out" of school? I know it goes by AGE, not their grade level that they've passed.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:47am

I believe it's 16, but I read something where it said at age 16 the child, the parent(s), & someone from the school would meet & agree on some kind of education plan or something.

I really thought there would be some cut & dry information...a statement like, "Parents are required to see that their child gets an education" somewhere. Something to that effect. I didn't realize that the education laws would be so wishy-washy.

It's no wonder there are so many uneducated dependent people.

Most any job that pays beyond minimum wage requires a HS diploma or equivalent. We all know that minimum wage isn't enough to keep people off of welfare, so why is legal for a CHILD to opt out of HS? Seems like as long as they are minors parents would be responsible for making sure their children are getting educated.

Dropout = Welfare
Welfare = Entitlement
Entitlement = Hell for the rest of us

RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:28am

Call a truancy officer, home schooling program, or the school board and present your questions to them. They should, at the very least, be able to point you in the right direction.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:32am

I work for a large city school district and part of my job is overseeing all of the home instruction that takes place in our district. Now, I know that home schooling guidelines vary greatly from state to state, but I believe that most districts in the nation would be governed by their state's education law. For instance in NYS, families have to submit lesson plans, quarter reports and testing results at the end of the year in order to be home instructed and if they want to re-enroll in school at the high school level it is at each individual principals discrection as to whether they will accept home instruction credits/testing as credits towards a high school graduation. Most of our principals will not.

With that being said, the Education Law in NYS is that all students who are of compulsory school age (starting age is 6 and ending age is 16) must be enrolled in a public, private, or non-public school or have an approved home instruction program. Any student who we find NOT to be in compliance with this regulation, would be reported to CPS for Educational Neglect.

What you need to do is find out what your State law is as far as compulsory school age and then find out what the State regulations are as far as home instruction. If you want I would happy to research it for you if you want to PM me your State and school district.

Thank goodness SS has you to look out for him.. good grief!

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:37am

Good luck! The Behemoth *IS* a CPS worker and all of her children are failing ever year. They squeak by in the very last semester with a pity "D" average low enough to scratch an "F's" itch, yet the Behemoth talks the teachers into socially promoting them up a grade every.f'n.year.

They aren't made to do homework/classwork and have been told by the Behemoth and her clan that they will be the next American Idol Superstar so grades aren't important.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:41am

Call truant officer. They will open a case file. But, gotta tell you honestly, shame on your DH for not getting involved in his education way before this. Do you not live near them, I just don't understand how he wouldn't know what was going on. I would have filed with the lawyers before this. If he does nothing else today...he needs to call CPS and Truancy. It will take time with govt agencies involved. So he has to do it now.

This kid will be playing catch up for years because of this mess.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:16am

Shame on him all you feel you need to. He has consistently asked BM & SS about school, grades, etc. For the last 1 1/2 years his questions have been answered. It is just in the last few months he discovered they were not being answered honestly.

We haven't made a habit of asking questions, getting answers, & then asking someone else to verify. Obviously, that would've helped. We just thought that when questions were asked & answers were given, that those were the answers.

We have been through court numerous times with BM. The court system here is fucked. The county they are in is known around the state as being a "Good ole boys" county. There are numerous public officers known to the county, & any surrounding county, to have outright broken laws. Everyone shows disgust, yet they continue to get voted back in. DH has lost his ass every time we've gone. He goes & tells the truth. BM goes & her lawyer lies his ass off. BM cries & the judge rules. It isn't as though he's made no effort.

If you feel the need to shame...shame to your heart's content.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:18am

Seems he can no longer trust the BM to give out good info and not be covering for the poor grades of skid.

I don't know HOW any of these men can say "I'll get the info from the BM" instead of going straight to the horses mouth; in this case, the schools. GG did this to his detriment.

"Trusting the BM" is mistake number one. From what I've seen, very few of today's BMs are mature enough to parent traditionally, much less NOT cover for their slacking spawn (it makes them look bad as a parent and we can't have that) So instead of correcting the parenting, they cover.

I was one of the rare BMs, I guess, who WOULDN'T cover for my bios. If they got poor grades (which they weren't ALLOWED to by me) then so be it. I would literally make copies of everything for both ex-hubbies (even though they seemed not to be interested).

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:48am

I contacted CPS & filed an "anonymous" report. I didn't think to let DH know before I did it. I didn't realize that would end up being THE call. I feel like I should have let him know first.

Being anonymous, they won't know for a fact that it was me, but given the information they'll know it was either DH or myself.

I left DH a message to call me back so I can let him know. I considered just keeping the whole thing anonymous from him too so that he would genuinely be caught by surprise & be able to honestly deny it, but on our way to work this morning I did mention the idea of contacting CPS, so he would've put 2 & 2 together.

I'm nervous about telling him.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:09am

I don't know that they'll look into SS because of his age. She did ask a couple of times how many kids it was because I kept saying "they". I'm used to referring to both of them. I did explain that he is 18 now, but I think that with him being 18, they may look into questioning him as well as BM.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:53am

when did he turn 18? According to the compulsory school age law, students have to complete the year they turn 16,17, 18 (whatever the compulsory age is in his district) School year runs July 1-June 30th. So if SS turned 18 anytime AFTER July 1, and the compulsory age in his school district is 18, then he would be required to complete the 2011-2012 school year.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:03am

Dh just called me back & I told him about the phone call. He wasn't mad or upset. Obviously he wasn't excited by any means, but I could tell it wasn't really sitting "fine" with him either. I think it's because it was a surprise.

I feel strange about it. I think I should've talked to him about it first. I just didn't realize it was going to go that far until I was in the middle of answering all the questions. I feel like in placing the call without at least letting him know I was going to was kind of overstepping. I told him as much & he told me not to be sorry. He assured me that it needed to be done. He still sounded a little "off" about it.

I'm certain we'll hear from BM as soon as they contact her, so we'll know it's at least being looked into.

WickednNasty's picture

Submitted by WickednNasty on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:42am

Storm, you did what needed to be done in the kids best interest. Someday when they're older they will know you and your husband were the ones who cared and tried to do what was in their best interest.

I feel that if the Court System were to actually get involved the way they should perhaps we wouldn't have so many people living off our system. By the Court System getting involved I mean punishing these parents who alienate their X from their children's lives.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:50am

I know it needed to happen, & DH said as much. My nerves are shot since the call, I think because I know it put DH in an uncomfortable position with no warning or preparation. I realize that doesn't make it wrong. It's just uncomfortable.

I don't know if CPS will just contact the school to verify the information & if they find things to be "suitable" it stops there, or if they go straight to BM.

I hope they'll go through the school & gather the information there so that it doesn't compound off the bat as "he said/she said" kind of mentality.

I know it had to happen. I don't know that it had to be CPS, but it had to be something, & that was the path I found first. I'm just nervous is all.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:00pm

So, DH seems to be fine & actually encouraging about me calling. I still funny about how it went, but in his voice he truly sounds absolutely supportive of it.

He keeps telling me not to worry about it, & that he doesn't feel nervous about it at all.

Yes, it got deeper than I was ready for it to, & had I thought it through more, I would've done it differently. I told him I'm nervous about her finding out & knowing it was my fault it was reported. His reply was, "Honey, it ISN'T your fault it was reported. It's HER fault it was reported. There would've been no need to contact anyone anywhere if she was doing the right thing".

I feel better about it than I did & will likely feel okay with it after sleeping on it for a night.

Thank you for your advice & support. Smile