I wouldn't think so but you never know now a days. Real sad.

No way in HELL would that ever fly in my house. If that is what he wants to do then he needs to go back to her!

My counselor would have a field day with that scenario. No way they would say that would be ok.

I wouldn't be with my fdh if he saw "crazo" for any reason.
I wouldn't see my ex either. There is a reason we are divorced.

Your DH better hang on because he is about to go for a ride!

"If that is what he wants to do then he needs to go back to her!"

Yep thats wierd! The only reason I would say that even kinda makes since is that son is visiting and have to go back out of town or something. So the DH and BM are seeing him together before he leaves because ss does not have enough time to see them seperately.

The other reason would be something big like a graduation or wedding because they ARE THE REAL PARENTS.... (not to exclude you though) but I think it only natural for the parents to be around thier son during those times

but vacation together when his behind stays in the same state/city/town....oh heck no! My question for DH would be when WE leavin and where are we going

When you say adult, how old is he?

the better question is will it matter? Even if a therapist tells him that he is wrong and that this would be detrimental to his marraige, would he do it anyway?

My DH is the type that if he is hell bent on something, 97% of the time it doesn't matter who tells him not to do it, he's going to do it anyway... and then admit later that he made a poor choice and suffer the consequences.

Small example: this weekend he was going to drive about 6 hours to purchase a car that he bought on E-bay. I tried to tell him that there was alot of flood damage in the direction that he was heading and that he should wait a couple of days before making the trip. He wouldn't listen to me, the 6 hour trip turned into a 12 hour trip and he didn't even get the car as it was grossly misrepresented (which I tried to warn him about too, since the seller had not ever sold a vehicle before on Ebay and there was no feedback) but DH was hell-bent so he learned the hard way. The FIRST thing he said when he called me on his way home, was "I should have listened to you"... Gee ya think???

willow you need to put your foot down and if he can't get it may be he will get you moving out!

BM Pulled that crap with school stuff and baseball games.....when I showed up she asked DH why I came? If I cant come DH dont go !

I guess I leave a lot out of my stories sometimes....thats why people give me crap on here..its a lot I leave out, not on purpose, but because Im so mad or angry I dont type everything that I feel ..(I type fast)

What does he say about you going with him?

Ask the shrink if their spouse would put up with that BS if they tell you its okay.

I don't know what a counselor would say (although they should say this is CRAZY!), but I'd say hell no and kick is ass to the curb!

Wow just wow I can't believe that!! I would never accept that in my relationship. I feel for you. But I agree with Daizy if he is hell bent on doing it nothing anyone says not even the shrink will sway him. I see no reason for them to all hang out together at all. Just sets some wierd boundaries.

If he insist on going you should be invited too.

Why in the world does your husband find it necessary much less appropriate for him to spend time with BM?? I can MAYBE understand co-parenting when new spouses are not involved..MAYBE. But once re-married? Uh NO!!!! Especially since your SS is an adult there should be absolutely no instance that your husband should be in the same room as BM. Unless it is a hospital room or wedding in a church. Seriously. I am willing to bet the therapist agrees with YOU.

Willow -

I can't speak to why your DH thinks it's ok to hang out with his ex. But if he thinks you need counseling - then you should go. I've said before - if spouse A has a problem in a relationship with spouse B, then spouse B also has a problem.

I don't know that any therapist/counselor worth a grain of salt would tell you your feelings are wrong. They might direct you to a better way to communicate that, or direct your DH in a better way to respect your wishes, or provide a working middle ground.

I get why you are upset with the visits, I would be too - and I'm a fairly non-jealous type. I was very good friends with my xturd's xwife. I watched her kids while she and her husband had a night out and vice-versa. Our kids grew up thinking they were "step bro's & Sis's". They still keep in contact on FB.

His "long" visits with the ex and the kid are disrespectful - you are part of that family and should be included. If it's uncomfortable - he shouldn't go. Long visits are for a stern talking to, issues, problems, big events, etc., not "hanging out". That is YOUR man, and you should be by his side.

This is just my opinion anyway.

JRTerrierMom

If my husband did this to me. Not only would I pack his bags while he was gone, but I would dump them on BM's front porch with a letter: It's a BOY!!

Seriously I cant seem to understand why the "adult" child wants BM and your Dh to be together with him and act like "one big happy family". My SS also 18 just tried playing that card. Grrrr...
But...your DH is completely wrong.

Willow, I also think you need to put your foot down on this one. This is the danger that people (like me) get into, when they are understanding and always try and see the other side of the issue. Sometimes people will take advantage and sometimes we actually lose track of what is just being understanding and what is just over the top. This seems over the top. The "kid" is 18! If it's supposed to be a "let's all be grown up about this" kind of thing, then you should be invited too- not that you would want to go, but if everybody is going to be " adults and reasonable" that they would have to be it too, and include you in the family outing.

I was a relationship counsellor for 7/8 years, and there is no way in this world that a counsellor would say "what's the problem" with this scenario. He/she would be much more likely to want to explore WHY the DH wants to do this and what is going on here.